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News & politics

Same sex marriages now legal

(184 Posts)
whenim64 Sat 29-Mar-14 10:22:51

It was good to see the happy couples getting married around the country today, and interesting to see that the ones on the news have been together for a long time. One couple I saw being interviewed yesterday said they had wanted a simple, quiet wedding but by booking it at a minute past midnight they had brought on themselves a mad dash from the media to talk about their view of the change in the law. Still, great to see progress smile

mcem Wed 02-Apr-14 10:28:29

'I only know one in a once removed sort of way'. Is this a way of admitting that you really literally don't know what you're talking about ? That's not a sarcastic comment by the way - just the way it comes over to my simple unsophisticated mind.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 02-Apr-14 11:00:18

I don't need to know any gay people personally for my common sense to tell me they must be like the rest of us, apart from the sexual orientation. Some good, some bad, most a mixed up jumble of both.

mcem Wed 02-Apr-14 11:04:15

Agreed and no-one said anything different. We can only draw on our own experience can't we? (And as mums we can rejoice when other mums' offspring find happiness)

Penstemmon Wed 02-Apr-14 16:41:15

Jingle I have worked with a number of gay colleagues and have friends and family members who are gay. I am pleased that, nice or nasty , they they can now marry if they choose to.

As with my hetero colleagues there were some gay colleagues that I did not wish to socialise with or get to know better for a variety of reasons!! The colleagues, gay or straight, that I am also friends with are lovely people..as absent said why would I be friends with them otherwise? My family members who are gay I love to pieces just like my straight nephews & nieces & they all happen to have chosen lovely partners.

rosequartz Wed 02-Apr-14 17:41:09

I think this thread is about people getting married, so they are going to be in a happy, positive and consequently nice frame of mind.

I do know someone who is not being very nice to his partner, and quite honestly it is not nice and I wouldn't put up with it so placidly.

Iam64 Wed 02-Apr-14 18:59:10

Rosequartz, apologies if I've misunderstood your post, but I read it to say you knew a gay couple, one of whom was behaving in a "not nice" manner, and that his partner is putting up with it placidly. If you meant a hetrosexual married couple, sorry for misunderstanding.

Your point confirms those made by many posters, that gay couples are like all couples, some have good relationships, others not so good, and some are abusive relationships. It is not uncommon for the victim in these situations to appear placid. It's often linked to their fear of winding up their partner and a means of avoiding conflict. I'm not sure about the up to date figures, but when I was working, the research suggested women in abusive relationships may leave and reconcile as many at 20 plus times, before finally getting the courage to leave.

rosequartz Wed 02-Apr-14 19:59:50

Yes, you are right Iam64. Someone had posted how all the gay people known to Gransnetters are warm, wonderful lovely people (being ironic I think); I was just saying the ones we are talking about on here are happy because they are getting married.

Otherwise, human beings are all much the same in their degrees of happiness, bitchiness, niceness, nastiness etc I would think. The person concerned who is being nasty is known to me but not that close, but I am concerned that he is going to mess up the one true and happy relationship he seems to have had.

rosesarered Fri 04-Apr-14 21:02:29

Exactly Rosequartz and there will no doubt be as many divorces with gay people as with straight in the future.I have known quite a few gays in my life, some of them I liked who acted normally, others who camped it up and were rather cringeworthy. As others have said on here, we are all people who act in various ways, but we don't have to like it. However, the main discussion is about marriage, and although I really don't want to hurt the feelings of any mothers here who will be attending gay weddings, I just don't happen to agree with it. It's law now, but like all laws, you can't make people like them only accept them.

Iam64 Sat 05-Apr-14 09:33:41

Sometimes public attitudes change gradually after laws are made. Drink Driving would be a good example, fewer people would now drink and get in their cars. The fear of prosecution is one thing, but it's no longer socially acceptable to drink and drive.
None of the young people I know would express such anti gay sentiments as some on this thread have done. Hopefully, times are changing. smile

mcem Sat 05-Apr-14 10:23:09

Would anyone find it odd that, when we discuss our plans for DD's civil partnership ceremony, the 2 wee ones (ages 3 and 5) never question the fact that auntie has a girlfriend and not a boyfriend? Simply a fact in their little lives and long may that last!
As you suggest Iam it may be a generation thing!

annsixty Sat 05-Apr-14 11:26:23

I confess to not reading through all this thread so apologies if this has already been answered, but did your DD decide on a civil partnership before the law was changed to allow marriage and would she have gone down that route when planning now?To mcem of course.

mollie65 Sat 05-Apr-14 13:59:59

I am NOT anti-gay or narrow-minded and I find those accusations (you know who I am referring to) a form of personal bullying which is sad for such a nice forum generally. sad

Atqui Sat 05-Apr-14 18:05:43

I wasn't going to comment on the 'anti gay sentiments' comment, but in support of Mollie 65..... I didn't think there had been any anti gay sentiments. Just because some people do not agree with same sex Marriage does not mean they are anti gay surely??

mcem Sat 05-Apr-14 18:35:06

annsixty - as we are scots, the girls would have had to wait until the marriage law goes through the scottish parliament. Rather than wait, they decided to go ahead this summer with the civil partnership. Frankly, and it's been said on this thread, there seems to be so little difference between the 2 they didn't want to wait. For couples with strong religious feelings it would probably be right to wait until marriage in church is legal though it might be a long wait. That didn't apply to my girls so they are happy to make their commitment in front of friends and family in July.

NanKate Sat 05-Apr-14 18:37:24

I so agree Atqui and Mollie 65.

I too am not anti gay. Being Gay is not a choice it is how some people are born, as I was born Hetrosexual. However, I have be brought up to believe that a wedding is between a man and woman.

I do realise that in years to come my ideas will be thought of as very out-dated but I have to stand by my beliefs.

annsixty Sat 05-Apr-14 19:02:15

Thank you mcem for the explanation and also for pointing out that there is little difference in the two ceremonies . I wouldn't have waited either,as you say for some the wait will indeed be a long one.All good wishes to them when the day arrives.

absent Sat 05-Apr-14 19:27:46

We can't really talk about marriage as if it's a fixed and unchanging institution, although previously it has always been between a man and a woman (worldwide I think). That would, of course, have been mainly to ensure the reliable legacy of wealth and title to the offspring and the avoidance of cuckoos in the nest. (Nowadays there is DNA testing.) Nevertheless, the institution as such has changed and these changes were probably accepted with great reluctance among the many. Until the Married Women's Property Act, marriage meant a woman gave up all rights to her possessions to her husband who had no accountability about what he did with them. At one time, women could legally be forced into marriage against their will with no way of avoiding it. Husbands could divorce wives, but not vice versa. There have always been changes and modifications to all social activities and contracts. Marriage for gay men and women is just one more, albeit quite a sizeable change and, for many, long overdue.

whenim64 Sat 05-Apr-14 19:47:18

Didn't Ancient Greeks, Romans and Egyptians have marriages between men? Nero had more than one husband. It's been permitted and outlawed many times in history.

rosesarered Sat 05-Apr-14 20:04:46

Yes well, one of the Roman Emperors [Caligula?] married his horse, but what does that prove?

Ana Sat 05-Apr-14 20:11:11

I've only ever read of Nero having married one man, whom he had previously had castrated. He apparently married him because he closely resembled his dead wife.

mcem Sun 20-Jul-14 08:27:42

On Friday I attended the Civil Partnership ceremony of my girls and it was such a happy and beautiful day for all of us. Several very traditional friends approached me later to say they'd found the ceremony very personal, appropriate and moving. Many said it was the best wedding they'd ever attended. The brides and bridesmaids were beautiful - little ones adorable and so well-behaved - a superbly happy event!

Iam64 Sun 20-Jul-14 08:58:03

Thanks for the update mcem, good to hear the day was so happy and beautiful for all

MiceElf Sun 20-Jul-14 09:38:05

Lovely news. Congratulations to all and long life and happiness to your girls.

Mishap Sun 20-Jul-14 09:45:09

What wonderful news! - so glad that it was truly happy day.

Oldgreymare Sun 20-Jul-14 09:47:07

Glad you ALL had a wonderful day.