Assisted dying - what do you think?

I haven't made a living will yet but when I do, I won't feel any difficulty about raising it with my kids. It's a perfectly sensible thing to do, which will make things easier for them as well as for me and — this is the important bit — there is absolutely no reason to be maudlin about it.

When my mother was admitted to hospital with COPD and it became clear that they couldn't actually help, we simply took her home. She was adamant that all she wanted was to be at home. We didn't realise how close the end was. She was admitted on Monday, came home on Thursday and died peacefully in her own bed with her family around her on Friday evening. I believe she had decided that she'd had enough and, determined lady that she was, chose when and where she wanted to die. I am happy that my sister and I were able to do as she wished.

If assisted living worked as it should, no-one would want assisted dying as a way to avoid pain, achieve dignity, having meaningful days.

At the age of forty my nephew had several massive strokes, he was, what they termed 'locked in'. It was not possible for him to make his feelings known, the doctors did not expect him to live and could have acted upon a living will.

Amazingly something from inside fought back and very gradually he began to improve. This took a long time before it became apparent. He is now in a wheelchair and registered disabled but his mind is as good as new and he is well able to care for himself. He lives a very active life and has many friends. In this case I am really glad he didn't have a living will because every time we visit he proves to be an inspiration.

This is such an emotive subject with so many sides to listen too and questions to be answered but making a living will seems the right thing to do until the law changes. As Glammanana says it's not an easy subject to discuss with our children but they need to know our wishes, however hard they may be to accept. Without something in writing it would be difficult for anyone in the medical profession to be told by family to cease treatment. Thank you PatriciaPT for the Dignity in Dying website address.

I have found this most interesting and helpful. I am fighting fit at the moment and grateful for it, But I have witnessed my father and much later my mother, desperately seeking release. The links to Dignity in Dying etc. are most helpful and I shall ceratainly make use of them. Thank you.

Grey hips

There's about as much dignity in dying as there is in giving birth.

...but only one that you can recall after the event.

I feel very privileged to live in a country where assisted dying, with very carefully drawn safeguards, has been legal from the 1940s.

I am a member of Exit here in Switzerland, and my wishes and living will are all known to my OH, children, GP and sollicitor. The big hurdle now for Exit to conquer, is to find ways to allow assisted dying for those affected by dementia or Alzheimers, as even here you have to be of sound mind not only at the time of decision, but also on Exit day. This is totally unfair, as it still forces people to end their life too soon - when still enjoying their family, friends and other joys- as otherwise it might become too late.

There should be a way to make a living will which will state exactly at what stage Exit should come and help end the misery and total lack of dignity. Perhaps a list of 5 criteria, which, when reached, should automatically lead to Exit- chosen in advance by the member. For me that would include

when I no longer recognize my OH and children
when I no longer show any joy or pleasure when above visit me
when I become totally unaware of my body functions and exhibit degrading behaviour related to such (my mil used to smear excrement in her room and wash her false teeth in the toilet- her such a proud woman)
when I no longer enjoy the sun on my face or birdsong

BTW, I feel it is much better for an organisation like Exit to help and support when the time comes and NOT the doctor/GP.

BTW in the UK, since the terrible Shipman case, GPs who used to discreetly hasten death with large doses or morphine now refuse to do so. For fear of being found out by Coroner or sued by family. A great shame.

I agree absolutely with what you say in both your posts, granjura.

There may not be much dignity in dying, absent, but it shouldn't have to be as messy and prolonged as it often is.

Messy and prolonged being a fairly new phenomenon - as people are kept alive by antibiotics, medication, and strong encouragement to feed on super protein/vitamin concentrated foods.

My heart goes to Tony Nicklinson and his family. Tony has been 'locked-in' totally unable to do anything for himself, can't talk, etc, after a massive stroke and is asking for assisted suicide, without his wife being prosecuted. Similar to Debbie Purdy some years back - who feared dying of slow suffocation, and tragically, did.

If somebody here is good at posting links, perhaps a good time to post video of the Dimbleby Lecture, read by Tony Robinson on behalf of the author, Terry Pratchett.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00qmfgn

Don't know if that links directly, but should give those interested an idea of how to find it!

sussexpoet I am feeling that sadness mixed with relief having just heard that my friend died about 2 hrs ago.She has suffered so much with cancer in the last 2 yrs.Had several courses of chemo ,2 wks in the hospice and came home to die supported by husband and family.She held my hand and still smiled. As we left the nurses arrived .I hoped that she would have pain relief and go quickly.She was ready to go.

granjura When my time comes, please may I visit you for a final sleepover? Your post makes perfect sense.

Just re-listened to the Terry Pratchett Dimbleby lecture- and again it made perfect sense. I do hope he finds a way. I have written to Exit to find out how long somebody would have to be resident in Switzerland and a member (of Exit) to be able to ask for assistance. I will pass on their reply.

The only problems I could think about would be about the will and inheritance- and everything should be checked with a Sollicitor who understands both the Swiss and UK system - and ensure documents are drawn so that UK law would apply.

No matter how much care in hospices improves, there will always be sad cases such as Tony Nicklinson, where no amount of care will help. I read his heart-breaking description of his living hell and wondered how any civilised society could refuse him the right to be assisted to die.

Indeed - what abominable cruelty.

Exit have just got back to me and say that a person has to be fully registered as resident in Switzerland to ask for assistance, and not just on an extended holiday. Sounds very complicated and the process would take about 3 months.
It would be interesting to check the nitty gritty of legal/inheritance in such a case. Do we have a retired solicitor here who would be prepared to take on the necessary research?