Cannot get him to leave

You need professional advice.

But you could start by telling him that he will have to pay you back rent if he wants 'his' money back. And refuse to tell him how much a month you are charging!

Seriously though, get proper legal advice, and quickly.

Good luck - it must be awful sharing a house with someone in these circumstances.

As I understand the legal situation you are well within your rights to tell him he has to go and the police would back you up. Then he would have to take you to court for any costs he thinks he is entitled to, so it would be up to him to decide if the legal costs are worth the amount he thinks he would receive.

I would be interested in other responses to see if I am correct, things change so fast these days! This is precisely why after a rough marriage and a nasty divorce, I have always kept the house in my name just in case. My present OH luckily has proved to be a decent chap and I will do right by him in my will, but it always a risk when you start a new relationship.

Its absolutely horrific!
Thank you for your reply, i will get some legal advice, i have been toying with doing it for months but had hoped we could sort it amicably, but it’s just not going to happen.

Great minds! I have thought about back charging him rent to take off any amount he is owed!
Thank you again x

Thank you so much for your post, it has made me feel much more positive and proactive.
I will keep a watch on here to see any varying opinions and speak to my solicitor for some advice.

How lucky yo are to be in such a lovely position with your OH.

You could ask him to put in writing (with receipts) what he believes he is entitled to. I would then take advantage of what I understand is a free half-hour with a solicitor to establish what your rights are. I would suggest CAB but I know how overbooked they are, still worth a try though
Try to keep things on an impersonal level.
Have you in fact asked him to leave? Again it would be useful to put this in writing too as he will effectively be homeless and may need proof of that.
People might tell you to just change the locks and that is a possibility but a) he might turn nasty and b) he may well have a financial stake in the property so I woukd want to be very sure of my rights.

I have asked him to leave many times, and also asked for what he believes he is owed he just rants and wont tell me!
I would never just change the locks, im not completely heartless but equally wonder how long i can go on like this.
He has family locally he could stay with, i moved 90 miles away from all my family and friends to buy this house.... stupid eh?!!!

I will def see about the half hour with a solicitor and you are so right about the CAB, they are so overstretched.

Thank you so much for your reply x

Why don't you just change the locks, pack his things up and leave them outside in safe/sheltered place; probably phone the police to tell them (hope they answer); then phone the man to tell him to get his stuff immediately (or it may disappear or be damaged)? He is not paying rent so does not need any formal notice and you have already asked him to leave previously.

Don't be surprised if he is entitled to make a claim against your property. During my divorce I had a chat with my barrister as to how I could have prevented my ex claiming part of my house and he said unless we were unmarried and I could prove he was a lodger and paying rent and produce the evidence of such I wouldn't stand a chance.

If he's not paying rent he's not a sitting tenant and as his name isn't on the deeds he has no claim on the house itself.

Therefore you could perhaps put the house on the market, pay him a reasonable amount for what he has put into it and move back nearer your family.

But you would need to take legal advice about this to make sure you can do it.

You really need to get legal advice and quickly. The law is different in Scotland than from England and Wales, so it's not really possible to point you to further advice. Your financial ownership of the house should be OK, but your partner may have some rights to stay in the house, depending on what he's paid for.

You need legal advice, we have no idea how long you've been together, how much he's been contributing etc. If the arrangement was for him to pay the bills that wouldn't normally include paying for the bathroom to be refitted. So he could claim he was contributing far more than you.

If he was 'ranting at me' I'd call the police and have him removed, apply for an injunction and have the locks changed - all done in a few hours. Why would you put up with it?

We’ve been together for 9 years and lived together (in this house) for three in January, it probably doesnt matter a jot, but the majority of the money for the purchase was inheritance from my Mum, so of course i do not want to hand any of that over to him.
I perhaps didnt make it clear that i am happy to give him what he’s put it - if he ever tells me how much he’s spent! by either selling up or taking on a very small mortgage, but obviously these things take time and i cant live like this until then, it has to be said that whilst he is being uncooperative i have little mind or spirit to offer a shilling!
I shall get legal advice asap and see how in the immediate future i get something drawn up and him out!
Thank you all x

Actually the fact that the majority of the purchase price came from your mum as an inheritance might go in your favour. Judges are very reluctant to take away anyone's inheritance. So make sure you stress that to the solicitor. See if you can get him to sit down and draw up a realistic account of what he's spent. It's not great living with someone once you've decided to split, luckily my ex packed and left in a day but still behaved like a moron, denying their was anyone else but accidentally sending texts meant for her to me. It's short lived you'll feel a whole lot better once it's all resolved.

Awwww thank you, i too had an ex that sent me the other womans texts! We do go through it dont we!
I will try again to get him to sit down and sort things maturely.... we’ll see what happens.
Thank you again x

This is the situation as I understand it.

If you are not married, he would need to prove that he has contributed to the house if he wants to claim anything from you. So if he has paid to refit the bathroom, he has to prove that he has (bills etc).

If the house is in your sole name, I don't believe he has any rights to remain, unless you've agreed formally between you that he can (it doesn't sound like it).

Get a free half hour with a solicitor, or pay for one (shouldn't be that expensive).

Do some research first - CAB have good information on their public website - so that you're armed with some information before seeing someone.

I think you may be able to get some sort of injunction to get him out and to stop him coming back (although this may not be necessary - he may go of his own free will).

Surely, doing a few jobs wouldn't count as he didn't pay you rent- so it was just an exchange, and still very much in his favour.

Link is Citizens Advice/relationships and family.

A solicitor may well suggest mediation first.

You may qualify for legal aid if there's abuse.

Women's Aid is also a good source of information.

Thank you so much for all this info x

Hi Nicky I'm not sure that he owes you "back pay" in rent, seeing that when he moved in he was not moving in as a lodger. I don't think you can go back and change that arrangement. It is clear though that you now need to draw a line at this point - seeing as that the relationship is over - and come to a new arrangement.

You seem like a reasonable person, I would just calmly tell him that the deal from now on is that he pays rent (because the relationship has broken down), and that as soon as he tells you how much the "major works" e.g. bathroom and kitchen refit cost (preferably with receipts or bank statements provided), you will come to some arrangements to reimburse him for improvements to your property and that he needs to move out.

I also think that by not giving you that figure, he is stalling, because he is in denial and can't to face up to the fact that he has to leave your house.

But of course, get legal advice. Good luck.

Grannyknot
You hit the nail on the head! Denial completely, and head burying, its sad but i myself need to get some quality of life and i really want the same for him.
I wouldnt go for back rent etc, i just say it out of frustration when he says hes paid for a new fridge after the old one packed up or the weekly shop; this is the depths we have stooped to!
Thank you x

You will need to get the original receipts for his expenses and not just accept any figure he may give you.
He may well inflate his actual costs out of spite.

Don't take any rent from him until you have spoken to a solicitor. If you do he could claim he is a tenant and that gives him rights to stay.

He has no tenancy agreement, pays no rent and has no rights. He rants because he knows that you will back down. It's time to get tough, say what you mean and get on with it!