We will be moving in July but....

I try to abide by the rule that if my poor DDs will look at something when I am gone and think "What the hell do I do with this?" then I ought to rehome it - do I always succeed? - um ... no.

Cabbie21

Oh dear we have so much stuff, and that is after we got rid of so much before we moved here. DH is often regretting something he was “ told I had to get rid of”.
I keep trying to sort my stuff, but it is a drop in the ocean compared with his.
In the garage there are so many tins of paint and varnish, tools of various sorts, but he has had to give up most of his DIY. Then there is his study, then the loft…….

I couldn’t cope with that . One of the reasons I got divorced !

Oh dear we have so much stuff, and that is after we got rid of so much before we moved here. DH is often regretting something he was “ told I had to get rid of”.
I keep trying to sort my stuff, but it is a drop in the ocean compared with his.
In the garage there are so many tins of paint and varnish, tools of various sorts, but he has had to give up most of his DIY. Then there is his study, then the loft…….

My neighbour has gone into a home, and her daughter has been clearing her house out. From what I can establish she has just been bagging/boxing everything up and taking it all to the charity shops. The house is going on the market shortly.

I think I'm going to go through all of my things and try to halve them.

I’ve told husband that if he dies before me and I have to move out, I am going to put a match to the loft! I haven’t worked out how I can only burn the contents of the loft and not the whole house but he, sort of, understands my sentiment.

We moved 3 months ago. We decluttered before and after move. However DH put some boxes in attic full of photos, old videos, sentimental items (clutter). I was going to sort but I've hurt my knee so cannot climb the loft ladder. The boxes will remain up there until my knee is right as my oh will never throw out.

Give him a plastic box and say he can only fill that with what you regard as silly sentimental items but once the box is full that is it, no more. It will make him think twice if he needs it or not.

We are just starting on a declutter, so far so good, but along way to go. Boot filled and ready for charity shop drop. Then back again to tip. Why did I keep the iron that always tripped the electrics? Or the ancient vacuum that smells?

I too hate clutter, our loft is almost empty apart from photographs, Christmas decorations and an old dolls house that must go, I’m quite ruthless.
I wear a necklace my Mum left me, have a painting that my Dad did and a picture they had in their hall, both are hung in our house.
MrJ tends to hoard a little, so has a bookcase of ‘bits’ and the shed, we don’t have a garage thank goodness.

After years of expat living, I’ve become a dab hand at disposing of stuff every time I move, so I start in each new home with the minimum of stuff. It’s quite cathartic. My daughter helps - she’ll pick something up and ask if I’ve used it in the last year. If the answer is no, it goes in the skip. I have one bookcase and a piano that always move with me, a couple of things that remind me of my Dad, my old teddy bear and some artworks, but that’s about it, and none of it has any monetary value, so can be chucked away when my time is up.

I’ve been decluttering our house since earlier this year and have disposed of a mountain of stuff to charity shops, recycling and paper-shredding.

It was a huge task as we’ve been here for 25 years but I discovered a mantra that works for me. It began with going through my books, when I stopped asking myself whether I wanted to keep each one or not. Instead, I asked myself whether I would ever get around to reading/looking at it. If the answer was no, out it went.

We probably got rid of hundreds of books and I haven’t yet missed a single one of them.

I then applied the same rule to everything else. Would I use/read/look at or otherwise enjoy an item? If it didn’t fulfill any of those things - bye bye! For photos, I rejected all the out-of-focus snaps of nameless mountains or beaches or flowers beds etc. I even had pictures of people I don’t know! When I had similar photos of family and friends I chose the best and dumped the rest.

Dh eventually took on board my process and applied it to his possessions, too. He’s not as ruthless as me but an awful lot of pointless paperwork has gone. We had seven boxes of unfurled paperwork and reduced that to one and half boxes. Much more manageable.

It feels as though a burden has been lifted but it’s also been fun in a way, when old memories have come back.

When I was first married, we moved house five times in eight years and had a policy that anything that was still unused in a box from the previous house move, was thrown away and did not go to the new house. That system worked very well to reduce clutter. The loft space was mainly full of the empty boxes and packing material from appliances which were needed for the next house move!

I now live in a dormer bungalow with no usable roof space so have to be pretty ruthless about what to keep. My craft room has the most clutter as I like to dabble in lots of different crafts so end up with all kinds of things!

Seems it is the men that are the main culprits here ! Sorry Helen.
I simply do not understand how anyone would think it is OK to leave those grieving , or not, as the case maybe to have to add yet another burden on the family. Bad enough the bureaucracy following a death - who needs more angst .

I’m a hoarder, DH is minimalist (except for his walking/climbing gear (who needs 5 x 1-man tents?), tools/woodworking equip & trainset (latter 2 confined to the garage)
Like Kim, I have to just disappear when we agree to clear a room (he started 2 of our unused bedrooms yesterday) as I’d want to keep 75% of what we’ve got - & I can’t even remember what is in half our cupboards until I look!!!
Clearing my mums house last year was a nightmare & mine will be worse for our DS if I don’t get a grip soon!
I’m now going to take a baby step & choose a dining room cupboard to clear ……..

I’m definitely not a hoarder, dp keeps everything and I mean everything from tickets he’s taken off clothes! Every letter is dated on the envelope. He’s got a pair of bike leathers hung up in the garage that he can’t even get on(not for the want of trying) there 40 old yrs old and hanging.
The amount of arguments we’ve had about hoarding.
When his df passed his garage was literally full of things from years back. It took 3 skips ! To empty it. Tools carpet magazines
I told him there is No way I am going through his bags of things there all going in a skip. I think it’s unfair for the person to be burdened with sorting it all out. It’s not necessary

When we cleared my mum's flat, amongst other thinks we found knitting wool that she had bought to knit our son some matinee jackets. He was 25 when she died!

I tend to tidy as I go, and don't have much in the way of letters, etc. When my dear Mum died, unexpectedly, my DD and I had the task of clearing her house and it was heart-rending. She had letters from her youth, love letters, diaries, you name it - and we won't mention the bits and bobs made by her grandchildren. Going through it all was sad and yet joyful, but my DD has made me promise not to make her do the same job when my day comes!

I’m a hoarder by nature but have had to learn to let go. I can’t bear clutter, despite being a hoarder! Books are my biggest failing.

My SiL and I have spent the last 6 weeks clearing my mother's smallish flat. She was tidy, so we weren't aware of how much stuff she had. It was jam packed.

It made the job so much harder. Having to clear out stuff that all had a lot of sentimental value. Having to make heartbreaking choices about what we'd have room to keep, what could go to charity, and the worst of all, having to throw things with huge sentimental value away

I'm getting rid of most of mine. I don't want anyone to have to do it for me when they're grieving.

Don't think a pair of skis circa 1980 would fit in a scrapbook somehow !!

Have you heard of scrap booking? Why not sort through then things he is most attached to and then put them into a scrap book then ditch the rest.

Oh, another hoarder here. Not me - DH. Can't bear to throw anything out. I go through my stuff all the time so the children don't have to do it. My lovely mum left just a small folder labelled 'Memories' which contained a very small selection of letters and drawings by the grandchildren. Unfortunately DF was a hoarder like DH, so lots of sorting to do there. Really not fair on the next generation.

Well, thank you lovely ladies ! Good to know I am not being a horrible person, simply practical in my view.
I hate the idea of my son having to trawl through boxes and boxes of stuff once
we die. Neither pleasant nor informative for the most part I feel.
Have already been through "my" stuff with my son and agreed on things he would like to keep. Simples !

It’s just beyond me. ? why, just why ?

If you new home is smaller then agree some ' personal stuff space' for each of you. If he can get his stuff in it then that's OK.. if not he has choices to make!