Strange neighbour

Some good advice here regarding keeping a diary of when she complains and approaching her landlord. If it is a mental condition, then she needs help, but at the same time it is very worrying for you. Please let us know how things are.

Don't know, Phoenix but it appears in another thread, equally irrelevantly. It seems the poster is thoroughly P'd off by this guy and wants the whole world to know - but WE can't do anything about it.

Phoenix, search me!

My wee auntie developed ‘ Musical Ear Syndrome’ First it was big lorries going through the village, then her doorbell ringing all night, then music playing from next door at all hours.

It is apparently common in elderly people who are hard of hearing, live in a quiet house, and may be depressed. Seems that if a part of the brain doesn’t receive any sound it just makes something up! She was advised to use a hearing aid, bought two for £3000, then wouldn’t wear them ‘ in case something happened to them’!

Erm, what has that post got to do with this thread?

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I agree with Gonegirl: don't engage. As someone said to me when I questioned another's take on life: " But that's HER reality." Little you can do to change it.

My neighbours house swapped with the previous tenant of their current property, and the tenant was like this. Was also convinced people had keys to her new flat and would come in at night and do things to her and move things around her flat. It was all in her head. She'd wake the neighbours up at ridiculous hours to tell them to stop having parties especially as it was "so rude" of them to not invite her, when they'd been fast asleep with no music or even lights on in the house. It must be really scary to hear and see things that aren't real. I'd just be as polite as possible and keep a record of this happening.

You could ask her to record the noise she is hearing and play it back to you.

If the suggestion people have made of her coming round when she hears the noise doesn't work you need to speak to the letting agent.
Sounds like she may have a hearing problem or some type of mental health issue.

It doesn't really sound like this in your case, but, when OH was working away, I was woken up every night by someone banging loudly on the front door. By the time I got to the window I couldn't see anyone and all was quiet otherwise. I was so worried. It took me about a week to realise DC didn't wake up too, so I must be dreaming it. What a relief! As soon as I realised, it didn't happen again. Delusions or realistic dreams might be the cause so, as Starbird suggested, she could ask the landlord or council to install some monitoring equipment to get to the bottom of it. It should at least vindicate you.

Gonegirl. Wow! How terrible! That's another reason to get it sorted out soon! I wrote on another thread about my neighbours threatening me and one coming into my garden shouting abuse. He had been trying to pull up one of my 7ft plants which didn't impinge on them at all.
Yep - neighbours can be one of the most stressful elements of modern life!
Keep calm, don't get involved, take notes, if necessary call the Police, and contact the Council!

P.S. Tinnitus is not like this. Actual noises and music are usually a different problem.
But whatever the reason she hears the noises, it is not our concern to say, beyond showing her courtesy and trying to sort it out quickly. Please go to the Council. I suspect she may need help.

Of course - she may be hearing the actual noise coming from somewhere else. Noise travels and gets bounced off buildings in a very odd way so it could be coming from somewhere else! Banging and drilling could be building a rock concert stage. The music could be the concert! Who knows???

Dee1012. Sorry Dee, this sounds like a mental health problem. I am not sure what you can do. If she persists, you might just put in writing that you have never done any of the noisy things she talks about, naming them. If you can date the times she spoke to you. Indeed, keep a log of the times she has approached you and what she has said.

I am not sure where you can turn for help. It may be that she has been given the house because she is vulnerable. I f she persistently bothers you, make notes of the dates and what she says and enquire at your Local Council. You can say you are not complaining but are concerned as she does not appear to be able to understand you are not making the noises.

I have said all the above because you have not suggested that any other house nearby might be causing the noise disturbance. I have assumed you have thought about this. Even so, she seems to persist in bothering you so I would get some support. I understand that going to the Local Council is the route to take but no doubt you could google it to find out. It simply comes under "trouble with neighbours."

She sounds rather sad. I hope she gets the help she needs and that you soon cease to be bothered. Wishing you lots of luck and a peaceful time ahead.

Keep a diary, do not let her in the house, and speak to the letting agent and if it gets too bad speak to the local council noise abatement team as I am sure they are used to handling problems like this. They will also be more likely to be listened to if they think this is a case for Social Services.

My mum was convinced her neighbour was playing music in the middle of the night. She drove my poor dad bonkers, and complained to the local noise abatement authorities.

It was more than a year later that we found she was in the early stages of dementia and was experiencing delusions.

I have no advice regarding handling her except to say please treat her with compassion.

Are there ajoining lofts? They distort noise, where I live it makes it sound like noise is coming from our ajoining neighbours when actually its coming from a different neighbour IYKWIM

Absolutely agree with those that say don't let her into your house. That could lead to more unforeseen problems & if she has got tinnitus as well as possible mental health problems ( which could be exacerbated by tinnitus ) she might well hear the noises in your house & become convinced you were deliberately denying them.

Deel there is lots of good advice here. Don't invite her in unless someone else is with you. But she might then expect to be allowed in every time she complains. Don't go to her house to check on the noise!!! Everything else as suggested in the posts. Good luck and hope it resolves soon.

You need to report it to the council or someone as she might start be a nuisance Neighbour or is she just wanting to have a chat but just doesn't know how to start. But I would report it just in case. and when you she her again try having a friendly conversation (She might be lonely)

People suffering from tinnitus tend to ignore these sounds because they are aware of their condition. This seems to be more like a mental health issue. She needs to see her GP. Bu how do you convince her of that? Probably have a word with a family member. Difficult situation really. All the best !!

...and harrigran is right, once someone is convinced of something any amount of reasoned argument will not work.

Having experienced just how unreasonable tenants can be I'd not get involved. Contact the agent or landlord.

I think this does sound like mental health issues. Tinnitus usually sounds like hissing or ringing, mine sounds like a car engine idling.
Do not invite this lady into your house, if she is paranoid it will not convince her, she will think you are hiding the source of the noise.

Be polite but don't let your neighbour in your house.

My mum in law had similar problems in a terraced council bungalow. Neighbour on one side said she was using her washing machine and drilling in the middle of the night. This neighbour even contacted the timid neighbour on the other side of mum, to moan about her noisy nights.
Timid neighbour too frightened to disagree, this went one for a few months, with mum becoming increasingly distressed, and stuck in the middle. I remember her sobbing and showing me nasty notes pushed through her door. Anyway, to get to the point, the council fitted noise monitoring equipment in mums house..... Of course it revealed no noise! Still,the complaints from the neighbours came, nasty notes and phone calls. In the end the neighbours were advised by the council if there were any more complaints they may have to vacate their bungalows.

Having read all the posts, I think it may well have been a mental health issue, or tinnitus.

The long term solution for this poor woman is for her to accept that there is no external noise, to consult a doctor and be put on some medication that helps her. Speaking to the landlord might prejudice her tenancy and she will spend her life moving house, which will add more stress to her life.
Can you suggest to her that she records any noises she hears. When she plays it back presumably there will be nothing and that might help her to accept that the noise is not external. You could also suggest to her that she may suffer from tinnitus and that a doctor might help with that. The doctor would then hopefully pick up on other symptoms and may refer her for more help, if appropriate., but I wouldn’t hold my breath. Unfortunately there are a lot of people like your neighbour and very little is done for them, perhaps there is nothing that can help, beyond sympathy and mild sedatives.