Black Dog 30

ScaredyCat Your SIL's dad is doing very well. Good on him. My friend's wife waits on him hand and foot, does everything in the house, and goes shopping for the food he wants, despite her not being able to eat anything. Such a lovely lady, but put-upon. I've messaged and rang her every day since last Thursday. He's apparently walked 4 steps today because the Physiotherapist was tough with him. DH stayed in all day again, so I've messaged the seller and complained. The dishwasher will be here tomorrow (we'll see).

I went to aqua aerobics, but when I was getting ready, I noticed about 6 red, raised welts on one side of my face and a lot more on my neck and chest. I put some make-up on . Since then, the areas have become itchy and very sore. Wonder if it's Shingles, although I feel ok in myself.

Have had several long phone calls from insurance today. But they all ask the same questions. And I have two people coming out on different days and I’m not sure what for.
Dh can’t get his shoes on today. His food is swollen. I actually handed him the phone and told him to call the doctor. Guess what? He didn’t. Still no results from the scan.
I’ve got choir tonight but no notion to go. Last week the two women I sit with chatted to each other during the break and I felt really out of it. I was at the end of the row so no one else to chat to it’s fine when we are singing but the breaks are difficult.
At least I managed a walk on the beach today though my legs were not happy about it.

Wyllow Hope your Cystitis is responding to the antibiotics. Oh yes, have had to crouch many a time on long walks - difficult to relax though! Glad the meals are better. Well done for tackling about that first one. Crumble and cream/ custard - food of the gods.
Yes, understand about the dream interpretation, I agree. What makes it worse about the worry of losing DH is that it shouldn't happen and makes me so angry that hes not getting the help he should be getting.
Scaredycat I had to look twice when you said I was 'tight' .😅 You are right too about the chat being as important as the books . Ive put my name down for poetry group - its a U3A one. Theres waiting list at present. We are lucky with a family ,I realise. I do wish Id had a daughter too .

HVDY Parking your car in that hospital car park was such a nightmare. We once drove around for just under 30 mins trying to find a space and all the time getting anxious of missing appointment. That was a long way to walk too. My DIL had my DGD in that hospital you mentioned. They were very thoughtful gifts for your friend.Hppe he picks up soon - his wife must miss him.
Dont like the sound of that rash- does it hurt? If its Shingles ,watch it doesnt go near your eyes. Nice the dishwasher is on its way.🤞
EllieAnne Hopefully , with all that info youve given insurance company they should know all the details. Much easier speaking F2F though .Shame you're having to wait in 2 different days for them- annoying. Oh your husband should have called Dr about his foot and you even put phone in his hand! Grrr.
I hope you manage choir tonight - it might be different. Can you position yourself so you're not on the end? I expect the other 2 ladies got wrapped up in their own conversation which can make you feel excluded. Well done on that walk .

Had F today and took her for walk in the usual woods with cafe. DH had to sit on seat - walking out of question. When he went to get F this morning he said the calf above the swollen ankle ' snapped'
and cant flex it. Dont think its ligament but something Vascular perhaps. Hes not been able to flex the calf properly since it became painful. Hoping its not a clot or something.

Take care everyone. Wishing a peaceful night for all.xx

Just in briefly as I decided to come home today as I felt homesick and felt I had done my lovely seaside day and that was actually enough as well as the comfy lazy day being cooked for and doing some drawing and yoga in the quiet room.

Definitely a place to go back to sans cystitis .....en route popped into the gym for a coffee and "hellos" and then the GP as the cystitis not gone yet so asked for more and to see familiar faces and then collected a nice Seasalt dress it was in M and S.
Completely the right decision ☺️ They didn't charge me for going a day early and tomorrow after my cleaner another lazy day as its a relatively long haul for me driving 3 plus hours..

I'll catch up tomorrow best nights all xx

Choir was much better. I think the lady I sit beside had maybe realised that I was being left out.
Wyllow I was advised by a friend who was advised by her consultant to take d mannose tablets and i havent had so many uti s. I get them from amazon

SweetpeaSue My friend is apparently making a little bit of progress now. QMC is a massive place. This rash is sore. The things on my face look different (much larger) to the rash on my chest. I'll contact the GP today, as it all started suddenly, with no change in moisturiser or soap powder, etc. What you say about your husband's calf sounds odd - it might be best to try to get it looked at. It could be muscular, but getting it checked out would be wise.

Wyllow3 There's no place like home. It's always good to get back into one's own bed. 3 hours of driving is a lot and tiring. Enjoy a more restful day today, and I hope the Cystitis clears up soon.

EllieAnne Hope the insurance company get things moving a bit for you soon. I suppose they have to double-check that everything is above board. Men are notoriously bad at ignoring health problems, aren't they? Perhaps when his foot gets very painful, your husband will call to make an appointment. Glad you felt more included at the choir session. Are you shy about putting yourself forward and starting a conversation?

Woke at 4 (that'll teach me not to go to bed at 9pm), I lay there until 5.30 then got up, fed Jaffa, did the washing, fed the squirrels and garden birds, filled the birdbaths, and did some ironing. I'll try to get through to the GP later. Hope everyone has a decent day x

I don't mind waking early as long as it's light. Last night was weird. A combination of factors - like getting up 4 times in pain with cystitis and some things on my mind - meant I got up and did stuff like unpacking for an hour, physically active and dropped off again 5-7am waiting to phone the doc I worked down the to do list.

N my cleaner came and we did lots of good nattering and more tidying/cleaning, I had to nip out with a sample to the GP, and quickly got back a "we've issued you with anti-b's" and I arranged the chemist to deliver.

Advice on cystitis noted, EllieAnne, and thank you: and I'm very glad to read that the choir went better than expected so hopefully you'll feel that you can stick with it.

What I do reflect HVDY is the sheer number of constant infections with this and that and how trying it is each time chasing round trying to get treatments, but iirc you have a good GP, thankfully, and did you get through today? I'm glad your day-centre friend has made some progress.

I don't like the sound of whats happening to your DH's ankle, Sweetpeasue. Sounds all very mysterious. How has it been today?

You are right yesterday about hospital parking, Scaredycat. It's dire. If you live way away it's 2 buses to wait for...or a £30 taxi ride in one local hospital.

After that very busy morning I had a sleep over midday ish and a very slow afternoon in deed, I indulged in a Roman jumper as I found Amazon doing them and had one already in a different colour. Oh but the Sketchers in different colours are so fascinating!. Then a long pampering shower at last and A round for some food, but he's got a challenging early phone call with one of his DS family tomorrow morning.

Generally however I have found over the last week or so I like going to bed early and waking up early, and when the clocks change it will help.

but I dont suppose Jaffa will take any notice of the clocks 😉.

Hi all
HVDY- Hope your GP was able to see you about the rash it sounds awful.
You started your day early today and got so much done- but sometimes you just have to have an early night don’t you.
EllieAnne- Hope,DH came to his senses and contacted the GP- he really needs to take some responsibility,for,himself.
Glad choir was better- I guess the other Ladies realised they had behaved thoughtlessly.
SweetPeaSue- Poetry would be nice- my friend who is poorly belongs to a reading aloud group which sounds like fun.
Ouch your poor DH - his pinging calf sounds uncomfortable- hope it’s eased a bit today.
Wyllow- you made a decision to please yourself and a sensible one too. As you say you have your lovely beach days to remember and also the knowledge that you managed really well on your days away. Nice to have somewhere you can go and feel at home.
Your cystitis needed sorting too- hope you are more comfortable now.
Hope,you,ve had a good natter with your lovely cleaner today and feel rested now ready for the weekend.
Nadateturbe-how are you?

Love to all on this quiet BD dayxx

Wyllow3 You had a busy day. Fingers crossed that the antibiotics have an effect soon. I like Roman and got a couple of pairs of trousers recently. Did you cook for A? What did you have? Jaffa's sleeping pattern is all over the place lately. Not sure why that is. Little sod, but I love him.

I'm sick and tired of having things wrong with me. This Vasculitis (autoimmune thing) means that my immune system is overactive. It was caused by a BP medication called Lercanidipine, about 4 years ago. I saw a GP this morning - not seen him before - and he said it's not Shingles, thankfully. He said it's an allergic reaction and prescribed a mild steroid cream, told me to go back in 2-3 weeks. The only thing that's changed recently is the diuretic I've been taking for about 10 days. I'm not going to take it for a few days, see what happens, and I'll ring the surgery on Monday. Here we go again.....

How's everyone else been? I hope Doodle is enjoying her holiday.

Oh Im so sorry for your painful Cystitis Wyllow . I used to be in agony when I had a UTI- def needed a week's dose antibiotics. Do hope you feel better soon ,antibiotics are usually fairly quick to kick in.
HVDY I just hope uour GP is right and you notice a difference a lot sooner than 2 or 3 weeks! It must be awful. Yes, call surgery Monday and hope you get some ease with that cream by then anyway.
* EllieAnne* Glad your choir night was so much better.
Scaredycat Hope you're OK. My DH will be trying to get GP appt again Monday.

Good night wished for all -- Especially free from pain . Xxx

Wyllow I have just noticed about your cystitis…poor you. I used to suffer from it also.
Several Christmases ago I had a very severe bout. The doctor gave me antibiotics but I was allergic to hem and came out a an all over rash on Christmas Eve. Plus we had a house full.
I rang 111 who arranged for me to speak to a doctor. Everything was sorted and my DH went to pick up a different antibiotic at the hospital. But the doctor I spoke to made me promise to speak to my GP about vaginal oestrogen. I did and have been prescribed it ever since. Easy to apply ,twice weekly and I have not had even a whisper of cystitis since. If you are not conversant with this do investigate. It has made all the difference to me. Hope you are feeling better now.

Hi all. I’m back home. Had a nice trip, bit sad at times but generally really good. Going to take me a while to catch up.
JamesandJon good advice. Cystitis is horrid.
HvDY you poorly too. Glad you don’t have shingles. Hope the new meds help.
wyllow so sorry you’ve got cystitis. It’s so painful and uncomfortable. Hope the antibiotics help soon. Glad you had a nice time at the sea
I was impressed with my two Roman dresses. Very nice. Wore them in the evening on board as they are both long.
Ellie Anne glad choir was better, not nice to be left out of things. Hope it improves.
Sweetpeasue sorry your DH’s is still having problems. Hope you get a Gp appointment Monday.
Scaredycat where do you get to use these radar keys? I often have a problem getting to a loo.
Are you seeing family this weekend.?
Sorry I’ve not replied to all. Still tired after getting home.
My friend and I got on well and met some lovely people.
Sleep well allx

I just missed you yesterday Scardeycat. And how are you?

Yes the anti’b’s are kicking in HVDY and others, now I’ve got the strong ones.

Yes I bet you are forever sick and tired if its not one thing its the next one and times between really very short. I think you do so well with life “despite” all. But now Jaffa does need to give you a bit more sleep despite being massively loved.

Cooking for A too strong a word - we had ready meal curries posh ones and veg and bits and bobs like olives and other favourite nibbles and one doesn’t like this and the other doesn’t. Easier to eat out 😉 or get a take away. His kind son had given him an all singing and dancing microwave and he looks enviously at my cheap one with just a temperature and a timing dial. I suggested he buy one and hide it if family come.

Things always get problematic at Friday and weekends, Sweetpeasue, it seems to be some weird law of karma. Involving waiting and lots of competition on a Monday morning.

My goodness JamesandJon I have never heard of a bout of the big C that bad. Talk about timing when you had a houseful of guests too. Thank goodness 111 helped, actually, they are quite good I have been surprised. Never before have we had access on Sundays unless long ago and you were rich maybe.
Now, that does remind, me, I actually have some oestrogen in a tube given a bit ago and what a good idea to use it now as well - just will check the date.

Doodle I am also glad you have come back you have been missed. The generally really good now that is a good sign you dont need to said quite as much- well hopefully of course!. While you were away someone suggested I might like a cruise with A as he is getting on and I thought about you and the cruises. Looking forward to hearing a bit more. And the people. Makes all the difference.

Yes - Roman stuff seems to have got big fans here on BD’s. The cut round the hips is generous is what I like.

Today I needed to get out and went out to the park for a long walk and scone and it was fun of people enjoying themselves on this lovely day and I had a laugh with one women about the poem “when I am old I shall wear purple” she didn’t know it but thought it a wonderful idea for a poem like that so that us oldies didn’t need to be conventional all the time..

Fab charity shop on the way back 🥂, Yes really a haul. Will not boast.

EllieAnne and Nadateturbe never forgotten.

Best sleeps possible all You’ll have a big wash on tomorrow Doodle

doodle I messed that up I meant to say maybe you can now do things you thought might be impossible triggering, but of course, early days xx

SweetpeaSue Thanks. I'm disappointed, as my BP has been so good on these tablets - 114/63, 125/78, that kind of thing. I hope you manage to get through to a GP tomorrow - are your husband's ankles still swollen?

James&Jon33 Having that on Christmas Day must have been awful. Cystitis is horrible, isn't it? I've got some oestrogen cream; I keep forgetting to use it.

Doodle Thanks. Nice to "see" you back. Glad you had a good holiday. I've heard that the food on cruise ships is marvellous. Was the entertainment (live music) on board good?

Wyllow3 Glad the new tablets are helping you. Ready-meal curries can be very good. I bought a couple from Aldi, and they were surprisingly very tasty. Some microwaves are too complicated, aren't they - ours is quite a simple one. You seem to find some great bargains at the charity shops.

Awake at 6 (can't blame Jaffa - it's because I went to bed too early at 9.30). Might go to B&M later. Just wondered what the noise was outside (door open). It's 2 squirrels fighting/mating . Hope ALL BDers have a decent day x

Well one hopes they were having a good time, HVDY .

what are you after at B and M?

I'm very, very, tired as I rather raced round last night washing and sorting all the new stuff and attempts to finish sorting clothes post holiday return

So today calls for taking it very easy as have a treat tonight, and I don't go out in the evening much, its a very well liked folk band in a cafe, and on booking I asked for certain seats that are comfy and not in the middle of the crowded room and they said yes OK.

James and Jon how is dear GD?

I need to get boring stuff like bleach and polish, etc., but I'll look at anything else that takes my fancy. Yourvening out sounds quite friendly and cheerful. Hope you enjoy yourself.

I’m feeling rubbish today. Almost had an argument with dh this morning because he has an appointment for bloods on Tuesday and hasn’t even considered how he will get there.
He knows I am busy on Tuesday morning. I don’t like letting people down and also it’s my way of coping with the situation at home. So I suggested he phone and ask for a later appointment.
He said they won’t give him one.
His platelets habe been good for several weeks so there’s no urgency now.
I’ll miss my Tuesday thing next week because someone from the insurance is coming and I can’t trust him to deal with it.
I don’t want to stop having my own interests and a life of my own. I know to some of you that will sound selfish.
He was definitely in a mood when I came back from church and I might as well not have gone because my mind is so full of things I didn’t concentrate anyway.
If dh had made an effort to get involved with things over the last few years he might have had friends to help out but he’s just sat about doing nothing and seems to have stopped seeing the one friend he had.
With the family unable to help this is weighing me down.
I’m so sorry for posting all this but I have no one here who understands. I’m sure they all think I’m selfish and heartless.ive even thought that now one d in L has a better job and they might be less dependent and other son has managed to buy a house where they are really happy I could maybe disappear now. I’m not really needed .

Wyllow. We have sent letters. WhatsApp’s, text, phoned etc. Nothing at all from DG, her sister, DiL or DS. . I send a letter to DG every Monday. I keep hoping that no news is good news ?

Sorry, I got interrupted. I find it very difficult to imagine they have not 10 minutes a week to give us news , or even, ‘How are you’.

Doodle So glad youve had a reasonable time away although there was the painful , sad times. Sometimes its nice to get back to home comforts too and being able to relax in your own home. None of the 'expectations' to ' have a good time'.
EllieAnne Im sorry you are feeling so low about your circumstances. I can understand it must be very difficult to give up your routine - one that gave you the opportunity to escape your problems for a little while and take your mind off it. I think as we get older theres always that fear of not being needed as much by family but they will always love you you . They must realise by now how awkward it is between yourself and their dad . I expect they must feel helpless to actually do anything about it . It was a mistake for your husband to stop seeing his friend- he seems a difficult person but his friend might have been able to help with practical things like lifts too. Dont be sorry for posting.
JamesandJon33 You are doing everything you can by sending those regular letters . I do hope your DGD. will respond in some way soon- just a tiny response would mean so much to you. Im sorry and can only pray that theres a breakthrough of some kind soon.

Back later.

Wyllow Do hope you feel rested enough for your cafe 'concert' .
Oh yes, the poem about wearing purple - love it. So many of us spend our lives trying to adhere to appearing ' "respectful' and trying to fit in that its quite freeing to think of the ways we could rebel. I guess in reality we wouldnt be much different though.🤭
Hope you get the seats you booked for tonight.
HVDY Hope youve noticed a difference with the cream you were given. I think having that very uncomfortable rash must be horrible. No wonder uou feel fed up with everything youve had lately.
I did exactly the same as yourself today and went to B&M. Picked up all sorts and bought some candles- not scented but thick ones that might last Im not being paranoid( I hope) but I thought maybe there could be power cuts if things get bad.
Yes DHs ankles still swollen but its the right one Im more concerned with as he finds it difficult to walk on.
Oh Im so glad your BP has lowered , really good.
Scaredycat Hope youve been OK today. Also that your neice is feeling better - that cyst was enormous. If only they'd operated sooner . Hope your DS's wound is now healing too.

Evening all. Nice to be back. Good to go to church today too.
DS1 popped round for a bit to help me with my car insurance.
Wyllow the cruise was good, met lots of really nice people. Couple of idiots but apart from that really nice. Food was ok. Most meals fine. Norway was beautiful as always but without DH nothing was perfect.
Yes Sweetpeasue nice to be home.
HVDY the food was fine. A bit more choice would have been better but what we did have was well cooked. Entertainment was ok. To be honest it’s not my sort of thing . I’d rather sit with a good book but we did have a silent disco which was fun and the lectures were very good too.
Did you go to B and M today.? Is it a shop? Clothes, food?
ElliE Anne I think it’s your Dh who’s being selfish not you. You need your days out and should go. Your Dh must get a taxi if need be and no one else can take him. He needs to take some responsibility for himself. Despite what you think, I’m sure your family need you. Your Dh isn’t considerate of you at all. I hope you get to do what you want this week.
jamesandjon obviously I don’t know he situation your family is in but I do know that when my DGS had problems, his mum and dad were so caught up in looking after him and caring for him and worrying that they hardly had time to think let alone text. I could go for weeks without hearing from them and sometimes it because they just don’t want to talk about it any more or have to explain things. I know it’s hard for you but you are doing the right thing. Keep writing and showing you care, it will count.
Scaredycat hope you are ok. Now it’s getting colder it’s not so nice out. Time to get the winter woollies out,

Hi all.
HVDY- I,don’t blame you for feeling fed up- you get so many problems health wise any one of which would be enough. Hope the surgery can help you tomorrow.
Early morning calls from squirrels- whatever next!
Hope you had a good visit to B and M . It’s just about,impossible to go there and only come out with what you went in for!!
SweetPeaSue- I,m OK thanks just had 2 very busy days seeing family and friends and getting some jobs done. I get so,tired though so by mid afternoon I,m done in and have to sleep. Never been like that in my life before.
Hope your DH gets something sorted tomorrow. Take care of yourself.
Doodle- glad you are back safely. It sounds like your holiday was on the whole really enjoyable. I,m so pleased for you and your nice friend.
Just meeting and chatting with new people is lovely on a cruise isn’t it- all sorts of folk.
I expect it,was nice to be back at Chirch this morning- it’s been such nice weather this weekend hasn’t it.
Wyllow- how nice to share a meal with A- that’s my kind of cooking at the moment. What a really thoughtful gift from A,s Son. Maybe you could suss it out together.
The “Purple” poem inspired the Red Hat Society - my former SiL belonged to it and loved it.
Hope you enjoyed your evening out- Folk Music is so nice.
JamesandJon3 - your letters will I,m sure make DGD feel less alone.Something constant for her. It is a shame though that you don’t get a little up date from her parents now nd again
EllieAnne- your DH seems to have cut himself off from life- what a shame for him and you. It isn’t at all selfish to want some things purely for your self- you wouldn’t feel like that if you had nice times together.
Believe me you will always be needed- your family are secure,in the knowledge that you are always there for them as they will be for,you.
There is nothing to gain by disappearing- you are not selfish or heartless but hurt and sad. Always.post and share your thoughts
That’s what we are here for.

My niece is doing well and at home now. My Sister is having to give her daily injections for a month - I think they must be anti,clotting ones.

Love to all - peaceful sleepxx