Black Dog 30

Hi all

Just caught up and will post tomorrow. I,m very tired and melting!!
Love to allxxxxx

Wyllow3 Relationships with DILs can sometimes be difficult - I'm lucky to get on very well with both of mine - and it must be remembered that our sons chose the woman to be with, so to keep a good relationship with the son, it's necessary to be friendly and easy-going with the DIL. I never criticise mine (particularly on the way they are with the children); I make sure I compliment them on their appearance, never talk about politics or religion, and I always take them a bunch of flowers when they host dinner or anything. I hope you manage to go to see the family and have a good visit. Could you go swimming or to the park with the children? Or simply read, watch a film, or play board games with them?
SweetpeaSue You needn't feel ashamed of having an eating disorder - you were ill. I eat too much sweet stuff - it doesn't help that DH keeps bringing cakes etc in. Matlock is nice for a day out, and has been described as a seaside place without the sea. Hope your husband has a better day today and that you can get out with Fluffball.
Doodle You've been so busy! Don't overdo things. Are you going out today? Matlock is only 28 miles (about 50 minutes) from me, so just a day out.

ScaredyCat, EllieAnne, Nadateturbe - hope things are ok.

LG will be here at 9 (Mum is off work but taking big sister out to buy clothes), so we plan to go to a farm park and take a picnic. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- those fresh beans must have been lovely.
They look pretty growing too don’t they.
You were busy. Sorting out is very tiring - or trying on clothes as you sort to see if they still fit!! Then hoovering- that’s over and above.
What would we all do without Costa. DH and I popped into ours on Sunday after getting the paper and GDs 1 &2 were in there together having a catch up. So we ended up having a really nice morning- they are such good company.
What lovely kind words for EllieAnne- you are such a good person.
Hope you’re having a good Fluffball day and DH feels well enough to go to the beach with her.
Wyllow- my friend was fine- she hasn’t felt poorly just very tired but as I said her readings were very bad that’s why she was admitted.
I have felt awful in this heat and thought it was the AF but then found out that the AD I take makes users feel very bad in the extreme heat. It was in the paper and Internet and I believe there is a thread on GN.
Please do some nice things for yourself- just not all at once !!
You should be the poster girl for Skechers. Do you have a retail outlet near you where you can buy them much cheaper?
Don’t worry too much about what to do with your DGC. You are Gran and as such have a special place in their hearts.
Depending on how old they are there’s lots of things you can do without wearing yourself out.Silly drawing games,consequences,if there is still such a thing as plasticine you can make all sorts,board games ,Cards,charades. We once taught ours to play poker in the airport when the plane was delayed! Dont put pressure on yourself they will be happy just to have you there.
HVDY- you,ve written the perfect guide to getting on with DiLs
Such sensible words. They are very lucky to have you.
I,m like you- I love sweet stuff- who can resist a piece of cake.
Hope you enjoyed Matlock. I remember one time in the Alps we met a bunch of men from Matlock in a bar - they were cyclists and the funniest chaps and such good company.
Hope you,ve had a good day with LG- a farm park sounds lovely. It’s still too hot to do anything energetic here🥵
Doodle- that must have been annoying with the storage boxes but at least it’s sorted now. We did the same earlier in the year and bought some to go in our little cupboard under the stairs. Nope they didn’t fit so went into the garage with all the other stuff😩
So pleased you lovely family dog is home- she.ll be loving all the fuss
I thought what you said about speaking to people about problems are very true.Some just don’t know what to say, some don’t want to get involved and some say too much.
I don’t find it easy to open up about problems with my friends but will always listen to them and try to help.
EllieAnne- like Wyllow I hope so much that you will find some kind friends to confide in freely. We are all concerned for you and your stressful situation.
Doing the right thing is taking its toll on you. Your feelings count too- you are paying a very high price to keep the peace.
Nadateturbe. Thinking of you and hoping you have been able to get out a bit.xxx

Well update on SiLs Dad. He didn’t get a bed all weekend but had his Op yesterday and it went well . Have not heard anything yet today. He and his wife are really well looked after . They have a good care package and a lovely lady who looks after them during the week. At weekends family take over. But at night they are alone .
They are bright as buttons but age although a privilege is also very difficult and unpredictable- as we are all learning.

Love to all and keep coolx

HVDY Your DH sounds like mine - mine says would you like to go the this specialist chocolate shop if were passing. They just want to please dont they.

Hope youve had a lovely day out with LG at the farm park and there was somewhere in the shade for picnic.
Scaredycat Glad your SILs dad has had his op now and all went well. Not good having to wait all weekend for bed though. Yrs, the beans have lots of pretty red flowers on them- we're going to be full of beans alright.

Ive been beside myself since yesterday.
DH has had a pain in his chest, not angina , sice a few weeks after the subclavian stent put in just before Christmas in York. Hes mentioned it to the follow up cardio nurse who said it didnt sound heart related ( we knew it wasnt) to the Vascular surgeon in the final follow up apt ( he said it couldn't be the stent) and to Rheumatologist a couple of mths ago. He pressed on right where it was - DH nearly jumped out of his chair- and said it was muscular and referred DH to pain clinic for injections.
DH told them it was there all the time and he could draw a circle around the exact spot. He told GP too.
Sorry to go on but if you remember when way back other GP thought breathlessness was lungs and sent him to Respiratory Dr a couple of yrs back - they found benign lung nodules that just needed follow up.
DH went for the CT scan to check them a couple of weeks ago- theyre fine not grown.
DH got feedback on his NHS app yesterday. Radiologist sent results back to Respiratory Dr and Respiratory Dr has sent the results straight to Vascular dept. Evidently the stents put in the Subclavian artery in November have projected 2 centimeters into the aortic arch! Ive googled it and its serious.
You'll remember that the Vascular dept dismissed the Subclavian Steal twice which is why we had to go private. Ive no faith in them- if they just get the results of the CT and do t think its caused pain - it has! they might think its well to leave alone. From what Ive read ( 'Subclavian Artery stent projects 2 cms into aortic arch' its vital its not left alone.

Our GP who knows us not on till Thursday but she needs to send the info about DHs pain since he had it done so they get the full picture. Dont think well get F2F but I need to relate the info as DH saying theyll not do anything - pointless.

Honestly Im so worried and all this time hes had pain and thought he had to put up with it. Id asked for scans before -but no. Told DH to tell radiologist when he had CT scan a couple of weeks ago to tell radiologist about his background. Told DH then that it might show up whats wrong, and it has.

Sorry for long winded post about it - I couldn't sleep at all last night.
Thanks for listening.

ScaredyCat Some ADs affect people in that way. I suppose it's best to have cool drinks regularly, have ice lollies, and stay out of the heat if possible. We all need to do those things anyway. Glad your SIL's dad has had his operation ok. He'll need to recover now. It's good that he and his wife have got a lot of support at home. It's lovely that you just bumped into your GDs like that. I wish our Son1 and his family lived this side of town (they're only 8 miles away though).

SweetpeaSue You were right all along about your husband's pain. I think it's awful that you have to keep fighting for people to listen and for things to be done. I really hope someone takes notice and actually helps your husband. Poor man, he's been through so much.

Lovely day with LG. The animals were lazing about a lot (I don't blame them), but she enjoyed seeing them. We had our food under a big tree. LG loves carrot sticks, cucumbers (she says "Cubbubbers), and all kinds of fruits. She played in the sandpit (we always take a bucket and spade). When we got back, she played with a watering can and some water pistols. She went at 5.15. We're worn out . x

HVDY Aw glad you had a nice day. Our DGS used to like thise kind of snacks when he was little. LG will remember a of these little outings Im sure.
Thanks for kind words.
Doodle * EllieAnne*Wylliw
Hope you're all OK.

I wrote a long post last night with my usual comments.

And never pressed Post Message.

Duh. Yesterday needed up a lovely and actually quite long walk in the park and collecting a best ever red skirt from M n S with a comfy shirred waist.

I get my Sketchers on Amazon.

I did thank HVDY for super advice on DiL’s. The children are mostly on their devices: sadly it has been that way as parents have had to spend 60% parent time on my disabled DiL. Having said that, ironically Covid meant that for that period they were home schooled and lots of parent input: they are now 14.12.10.8

The problem one is youngest and its catching his concentration…I’ve never known them sit down with board games an never family charades…for some time.

I can spend a long time with L very disabled tho, cuddles, little songs. She is hard to understand she has a sort of part ability to speak clearly ie and the family sometimes need to interpret.

Scaredycat you being a good listener goes without saying….I hope you do have friends to open up to

- OTOH, you have a very close and extended family and a sis on the phone (as I do). You know we will always “hear”.
As regards your friend with the hip, it looks as good as it might be, the operation going well, the close enough family, the care package. But I’m aware what you say - the more we age, the more likely we are to have people struggling around us too, and its a reminder of our own vulnerability, and if we are fortunate, what is precious.

That is a sign you are thought of and loved Sweetpeasue but oh the temptations of that there Choc shop.
That is so very upsetting about DH. You are very right to press for help and get anything checked out.

DH maybe doesn’t want what he may need: “more fuss”I think a lot of people get fed up and prevaricate…being an ostrich isn’t the answer. You are getting very good about summarising the medical situation and who to go to. Get it all written down in summary for Thursday, even if you don’t get a F2F highlight the immediate concern. And please - don’t forget 111 or even A and E.
I’m not being dramatic, just practical. For you both. Only they can decide whether it’s intervention or observation.

On the thread as regards anti’s and heat effects after reading the thread I looked into it fully. It is not mentioned as a common nor even an “1 in 100” side effect. But the link appears to be that many MH meds including my mood stabiliser dehydrate us more than normal therefore…the obvious -dizzy, short of breath, et al and the ansi appears to be water water water an difnecessary additional help against dehydration.

I notice it very quickly being yoga body aware and a sit down and a long slow drink but also deep deep calming breaths and concentration when walking is focus on “feet firmly awareness on ground step by step”

It’s so lovely to read about your day with LG, HVDY. It certainly is a lovely window to read of childhood happiness and funny words and water pistols 😊 and no wonder you are tired out but love has been there in its most innocent form.

Well today was quite remarkable. I met QuakerL the sensible one this morning for a coffee and we did talk the whole business over. And some questions to me “why did you” etc etc to put to bed.

It’s not over as QuakerD has real “stuff” atm and her interactions with me are by no means the only ones.

I explained yellow rock to her.

Then I went to the gym (feeling dizzy 🙄) but it was cool and focussing on breath etc.

I had a long cup of coffee at the end with a acquaintance which was not tiring a good sign they are low key.

Love to all, and the missing ones today. KOKO xx

Sorry all didn’t get in till 8pm and been out and busy all day. I’m exhausted and will post more tomorrow.
Sweetpeasue now wonder you’re stressed. What now you must be thinking. I do think you need to say you want a face to face with your GP to discuss grave concerns about your husband treatment and what’s going on. Present it as you have here. Matter of fact and to the point. Hope you get somewhere,

Thankyou so much Wyllow and Doodle x

See you tomorrow both and other reading xx

It's hot and I feel very tired after a long - but good day yesterday. I was supposed to take the car to the garage and walk back. 9am. No way. Changed it!

I decided to at last tackle the sewing heap. Got one garment done, reluctantly put not brilliant charity and other bargain buys as mistakes in the charity bag.
Second one, wrestling with a pretty skirt I am keeping but altering, I pricked my finger and got blood on it...dunk, clean, dripping, outside.

How is everyone?

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- What a thoughtful DH you have- but what a worry for you right now.
It doesn’t sound like a problem to ignore and really merits a F2F. It’s so awful for him to feel it’s pointless to persue.
You are so painstakingly thorough they must listen- writing it down is always sensible.
HVDY- I,m doing all those things - the boys had lickeys straight from the fridge this afternoon - they love them.
Today it’s 35 and unbearable . This morning we went to the nearest big shopping centre so we could have a walk in the cool. It’s very big so got quite a few steps in!!!
What a nice day you had yesterday- you must have needed the shade of the tree. What a good little soul LG is to enjoy fruit etc as she does.
She will remember those lovely times .Yes we are lucky to often see those 2 DGDs and even luckier they enjoy our company. There’s so many we don’t see so often and I miss my DS more than I can say. He FaceTime timed last evening and it’s been hotter than here where he lives and he hates the heat especially working all day in it.
Doodle- it’s so hot down South today isn’t it. church must have been lovely and cool.
Wyllow - that M and S is lovely . I think my DD has a white one like it.
Your DGC are lovely ages - you must be longing to be with them.
We have known SiL parents for a very long time and yes each year we all get a bit more vulnerable but KOKO.
It was a good idea to change the date of your Car work. Walking too far in this heat is not advisable.
Bet the air turned a bit blue when you bled on your skirt- Sods Law eh!!
EllieAnne- thinking of you.

Love to all - present and otherwisexxx

Good move to head out to the Mall, Scaredycat. That is a wilting temperature. I thought it bad here at 27 today! I'm sad for you that life with DS has to be at a distance. Big hugs. xx

I had a sleep, woke with earache (my personal sign of having overdone it as in 2 days no afternoon rest - to take note of, just grateful I am able to)..Skirt OK stain wise phew.

Wyllow Thankyou- I fear we wont get F2F as the receptionist doesnt alot then- have to wait for GP call back and beg( yes Ive begged before).
To be at garage at 9am is virtually impossible when so tired. Glad you looked after yourself there. Sorry about your lovely skirt- hope there's no stain and you had small plasters ( theyre always big ones left in our boxes.)
Doodle Thanks Doodle. Hope you had a good night's sleep after your busy day.
Scaredycat It's hard having your son live abroad like that - you will miss him so much. That heat is terrible - I never realise you lived in the south too. You and Doodle must be really suffering. Think it will gradually fall in temps but not soon enough - hope your furry friends are OK with it. The lickeys sound such a good idea.
HVDY Hope youve been OK today- still hot where you are I know. Its been overcast here but warm 23/25°.
We saw my aunt yesterday afternoon. She was delighted to see us. There was a lady with snow white hair opposite us and she thinks its her mum.😥 She told her here's (S&B) and I went up to her and asked how she was. The lady was friendly and just accepted it though later she said 'Im sure Ive seen you before'.
Left aunt going over to speak to her again . Texted cousin to tell her of our visit and she said her mum had thought other person was her mum for over a week now. Apparently aunt is still emptying all her wardrobe every morning as she thinks shes going home.
EllieAnne* Nadateturbe* Hope youve been OK.

Our wedding anniversary today. We went to a farm place that had pets and a farm shop with lovely tea- room. We'd not been before so it was a change and was very nice- then called to see son 2 who is back home for a weeks holiday. He and his wife away tomorrow to Kendal Festival for 4nights( taking tent and goodness knows what). Not Fluffball shes with us for 4nghts.

Take care everyone . Love to you all.x

Wyllow I had to sleep today too. You know when you just have to rest though it can also be mental angst that wears you out too. Oh so glad the stain came out.

Although it's very upsetting for you seeing your Aunt I guess you just have to go with the flow whatever she thinks when you come. She may think she is on a hotel now!
I can remember a lady when I worked for SSD who used to ask everyone who came, "are you my mother".

Congratulations on your Wedding Anniversary. 🥂🥂

You chose well there, didn't you? A nice tea room, some more furry creatures, and popping into your son xxx

All the best for tomorrow.

The Q friend I take out most Thursdays has cancelled, I'm quite glad too, we have a mutual no problems changing/cancelling agreement so never hard feelings, and I can either walk or go to the gym.

Been so hot today. I went to an archeological site near by., interesting but silly to go when it was so very hot. Came home and had to shower and wash my hair.
Congratulations on your wedding Anniversary. How many years. Nice to do something different for a change.
Did you get to see the GP?
Wyllow how sensible to have a no problem arrangement with your friend. I do with mine too. Sometimes things come up or you just don’t feel like it on the day. Hope you enjoy the gym but don’t overdo it.
Scaredyct you must miss seeing your son so much. FaceTime is good but not as good as seeing them in person. Good idea to go to the mall to walk. We haven’t got one here.
HVDY what have you been doing today? Have you had LG again. I think your probably needed a rest after a full in day yesterday.

Sorry Sweetpeasue the second paragraph is for you

Doodle The A site sounded interesting, I agree, though I can only imagine the heat there.
We have a particular GP who we now try to get but she's not here till next week so the next one, who knows our past history( certainly not the one we could get F2F with for a good yr and wouldnt listen to me) wasnt there till tomorrow so early morning ringing.
Wyllow Its good to have that flexibility in friends meeting up - so much less pressure. Have a good day tomorrow ,whether walk or gym.
Yes, I do believe aunt does think shes in a hotel. She seemed quite happy when we saw her so it was a surprise to me that she still thinks shes going home on a morning.
Thank you for your best wishes.
Its 44 yrs Doodle.

Thats a long time, Sweetpeasue. I'm glad you celebrated it in - just the right way for you.

Oh, Doodle - yes far too hot today - so frustrating, this age thing..... and wilting. Yes, it's good to have that sort of arrangement, it takes so much pressure off, doesn't it, mutual acceptance of emotional or practical last minute concerns.

I find some energy comes back in the evening when it cools and often do houseworky things then. Well, inasmuch I do them at all 🙄.

Wyllow3 I know what you mean about children these days being on their devices a lot. Our GC (2 are step GC) are 16 (almost), 2 at 15, 11 and 3. The big kids like Roblox, a building game, and the awful TikTok. Nice that you and your friend can rearrange and meet another time. What will you do tomorrow?

ScaredyCat You must miss your son a lot. When might you see him next? It's been 31 degrees here, and is still 22 at 1/4 to 11! Jaffa has been in and out all day, flopping down on the patio, then lying down on the tiled kitchen floor.

SweetpeaSue Happy anniversary! What a lovely way to spend the day. I love those things you did. Fluffball will keep you entertained whilst her parents are away.

Doodle It's been horribly hot here all day. My brother chose to stay at home and take his leg off - I don't blame him at all. My husband kept going into the pool here. I've read a bit, and dozed off for an hour (and was dreaming). No LG until next week - they're going away this Saturday, for 5 days.

Hope everyone has a restful night - I'm going to keep the fan on all night. Nighty night, all x

Yes I can recall them playing Roblox, and its a good game that require using your mind. Hand eye coordination etc. They would never be allowed violent ones.
I think the problem is when they don't get enough exercise etc but the 14 yr old has taken to walking down the hill to the local gym!
He was getting very withdrawn and DS started doing buddy running with him and its sort of taken off. In this weather they have a big outdoor blow up pool and a footie net int he bigger front garden. DS told me that DGD can cycle to school iirc! What I used to do at that age, cycle or walk and save the bus money. Littlest DGS is troublesome, I wish they had something like aikido or judo for the discipline locally.

I'm glad you had a nap. You'll miss LG but I hope they have a good time.

It's understandable how Brother feels about his leg really.

I need to walk as much as possible to keep going, the park is good: when it's hot it's the gym. I need to exercise for my mood really. When stuff with MrA was bad I swear it was weights at the gym and yoga that kept me going. Given the stress of that cursed has deprived me of some energy I still need to go!

Bests for first thing, Sweetpeasue.

Wyllow3 It's great that your 14-year-old GS is interested in the gym. None of ours does that. Our 2 15-year-olds both walk a mile to school, and the 11-year-old does gymnastics. Does your little one get away with things, with being the youngest? It's going to be cooler today, thankfully. Good for a walk in the park?

Been awake since 4.30 (for a wee), and couldn't get back to sleep. Day Centre later. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day. x

So - no appt.
Rang dead on 8 and was told there's an 'embargo' on appts with the GP we were told a couple of dys ago would be taking appts today. Receptionist seemed a bit puzzled but def no appts today with her.
The other GP that knows about DHs case on next Tuesday I believe. Will ring later to make sure after appts time.

Going to pick up F now and text friend to say I can still see her this aft . Said Id let her know whats happening by 12 as was trying for F2F .
DH quite resigned - Im not!

Hope all have a good day.x

Need a zzz, back later all - gym and a walk.

But popped in to see if you had been lucky Sweetpeasue - sorry you have to wait, I hope you get to see your friend and it goes well....don't forget 111!

I hope you have a lovely time at the day centre, HVDY. that was an early get up!