Black Dogs 29

It's natural to say, in your situation, Doodle "why? and why me? and why must one suffer like this, and not see an end?"

There are just situations we cannot do much about, just "live with" them: it happens more when we get older, of course, younger people have serious triggers, and there are no easy answers.

Totally with you, Sweetpeasue, it might go away, but you wish that you could clear Venous Insufficiency. Keep taking the photos, it could be useful in the future too. I hope the statins help.

Yes, the hardest thing is the fear you will lose him, or how much your life might change further. The best one can do as Scaredycat our "elder" says - and note to self, usually ignored - live for today, our best lives. Top marks on the Sweet Peas now, they will repay you as summer goes on.

Note to self: pop in some huge sunflower seed in a pot, so I can have cut ones indoors or brighten up a corner of the garden.

Thinking of absent BD's...do pop in even if things are tough...xx

thank you for your hospital visit news, Scaredycat: I wish they would give one answers on the day: I guess it is only comforting inasmuch as that if something very short term serious cropped up, they wouldn't have left it. But it's standard practice to go to the weekly MDT then tell you.

I can get up and down from the floor to play. Meow. Disabled L DGD, it's essential really, rolling around cuddle play as touch is so significant. She thinks it is very funny to squish people. ☺️
Thank you 50 years yoga.

Hmmm. Yes to the guinea pig, not to the others.

How delightful to see the goslings, Doodle. Water is whats missing, in my garden, and a view, which is why I shall eventually move to a flat, and which ones.

I met my CPN in the park first thing , I had too much to say over coffee, so non walk, after a dream about first husband here I was actually crying in the dream in park, (step forward in grieving, although pretty complex that he arrives in a dream, for in it I had sidelined his current partner.

I did a fast walk with a touch of a jog then.

And met a musical group. A young lad with Downs syndrome, two carers, one strumming a guitar, the other singing along, so I stopped and joined in. "do ya wanna dance with somebody?....do you wanna meet somebody, do ya wanna dance etc...He handed me the pretend mike, so I did a short number, passed it back admired the crocodile he clutched, and eventually moved on. What a lovely interlude.

And my cleaner/friend came, and we gardened nasty weeds together, so I am well exercised du jour. She was glad to get out from the usual hoovering stuff, so not problem.

I had a long sleep and searched out my favourite Montalbano, to watch in bed, ridiculous cost from Prime

AwDoodle* 12 goslings! They look so cute- do they all group together then follow each other in a line? We're both the same about the rat.
Oh just seen your second post. Big gentle hug for you tonight. I know there are no words to comfort you and help your sadness. You've every right in the world to feel sorry for yourself ! We're all sorry for yourself too!! I love coffee and chocolate together - enjoy it .
I still think its Venous Insufficiency even though GP didnt. I looked at lots of images and they dont all look the same- some looked like DHs and it makes sense to me when he hasn't knocked himself. Last time they went away by themselves so hoping this will do the same. Hope you have a peaceful night.x

Wyllow Glad you managed to formulate a good ema to Safeguarding. Hope they get back to you soon with something satisfactory. Aww Ive seen a couple of tiny babies today at a Costa. They're little miracles aren't they - you forget how tiny they are. Hope you had a good chat with the CPN today.
HVDY I remember playing with my DGS when he was about LGs age. He had this small tent like a Wendyhouse and I could just about crawl in to it. I had to pretend I was scared of his plastic
dinosaurs which he poked underneath. Next day I could hardly move! Aw well done for keeping stum about the baby squirrels until they move on- I know Id have done the same. Nice day centre time there with the cuddles ( not sure about the rat though)
Scardycat It must be a relief to have the echo over with and I hope it wo t be too long before you get the rests. Crossed fingers and toes that the results are OK and dont need any treatment.
Yes, my head did feel a little 'mashed' after book group but I did enjoy it thanks.Lots of discussion - and not just about the book.
Doodle Hope youve been OK today .
EllieAnne Hope youve been OK too - meant to have been really warm in Scotland today.

We got a F2F appt with GP. She has put DH on an alternative statin as he told her the Avorstatin had given him awful joint pains. She' s not sure about the leg- didnt seem to think it was Venous Insufficiency . I mentioned he had it before on both calves and Id mentioned it to Rheumatologist who advised me to take a photo if it happened again. We are to show him on his next appt at end of May. The heart nurse that called yesterday has sent prescription for different heart medication so we'll see how that goes.
Changed bed and took a load of stuff to charity shop. Finally got on my knees to tie up straggly Sweetpeas and only just managed to get up!
DH had nasty chest pain late afternoon. Its hard trying to get used to him being like this and scary. I just want him to be well. Hes so tired all the time.

Hoping everyone has had a decent day. Love to all and those not 'in' x

On reflection Sweetpeasue I think HVDY is right and it’s venous insufficiency. DH had that too.
Have you had any feedback from the surgery. Hope things have been ok today.
Wyllow sounds like you had a good session at the gym and a nice day.
I find power washing very therapeutic. Seeing all the dirt go and clean paving appear. Tiring after a while though.
Sorry all short and sweet tonight. I’ve had a lovely day but this evening I’m sad and feeling sorry for myself. Going to make coffee and have chocolate.

Scaredycat. Strawberry and cream and lemon and cream. Yummy. Sounds delicious. I didn’t know they did lemon and cream ones.
I couldn’t get down on the floor and play now but I used to all the time with the grandchildren.
Hope you get your results soon and all is ok.
HVDY nice lunch. Not so sure about stroking a rat but the others sound ok. We have lots of squirrels here and I love watching them play chase. We also have 12 goslings in the stream too.

ScaredyCat fingers crossed that the result of your ecg won't take long and that all is OK or can be treated. Hairdressers make it all look so easy, don't they? I can never blow-dry my hair the same as they do it, particularly at the back.

It was nice at the day centre. Gammon (I had a cheese and onion bake thing instead) with potatoes and veg, then lemon sponge and cream. A lady came in with various animals for us to stroke - I cuddled a rat, dwarf rabbit, Guinea pig and chicken. The weather has been glorious. Hope everyone has been OK x

Hi all
Wyllow- what a lovely day today to do stuff in the garden. Power washing is great fun and it’s amazing on patios and paths. Bit messy but that’s part of the fun. I haven’t done it for a couple of years but keep hinting at DH - then I can have a go!!
Your day yesterday sounded busy but enjoyable- your Gym is a wonderful place for you. Glad you were able to formulate an E mail you felt satisfied with.
Doodle- it was a nice visit from DSS and DSGS . We don’t see DSGS often as he lives abroad so it was good to catch up with his news.
Glad you had an enjoyable time t Church and the hospice. Hasn’t the weather been beautiful.
HVDY- yes I was pleased with my hair - it’s fine but he always manages to make it look bette4 than it is.
We had Swiss rolls - strawberrry and cream and lemon curd and cream. Good old M and S.
I don’t think I could play dog at all- you are such a lovely Nan. I could have done years ago.!! Getting down is easy but getting up is a challenge. I talk cat like you - they are learning words a bit - like dinner and NO!!
Those baby squirrels must be so cute.
SweetPeaSue- hope you got to Docs today with DH. What a daft thing to say from the nurse about his bruising- it’s practically impossible to kick yourself in the leg!!
You did well to get to Book Club - your head must have felt mashed after that,
So right our lives are very short and some much shorter than others. We must make the most of each day as best we can.

Well,I had my Echo and the young m. Said he would send the report today to the Docs. So we,ll see when they contact me!!
Glad it’s done.
Love to all and have a peaceful nightx

Wyllow By the time I went to bed last night, my hips and knees were killing me from all the crawling around like a dog . I use baby talk with Jaffa, always tell him what a good/brave/clever boy he is. I bet your sister is the same with her dog. A good hairdresser is such a boon, particularly one who is so friendly and easy to get on with. Aww, newborn babies are so cute. Even better if they sleep well at night (mine never did).

I noticed something scampering about on the roof of the house opposite - we've occasionally seen a squirrel - but this was 4baby squirrels! They must be nesting in the loft. I hope nobody kills them (which is legal, as grey squirrels cannot be released into the wild). I'll mention it to the neighbour after the squirrels have all left (about 10 weeks). Hope everyone has a decent day, and best of luck for today to ScaredyCat x

Sorry, Scaredycat I always get the "e" in the wrong place.

Tomorrow is busy, CPN, well due, then cleaner/friend, we'll go outdoors and potter together in the garden and test all the electric stuff in the garage (Ex was into all the gear, and I'd like to learn how to use the power wash he had)

I think you need to keep taking photos of the same area, Sweetpeasue, it will be helpful. Especially with markings. And comparison with the other leg too.
As in “normal” - ie check out stuff like spider and varicose veins along side.
So what happened last year when they came and went - could it happen again?

Make sure the GP gets a photo:- can you email them it first thing to go with the requests?
I’m glad that DH got a call back at last and sad it wasn’t helpful. I’m crossing fingers and toes for you both the new meds have a good effect.

So what book are you discussing in the he book group? I do recall when you couldn't make yourself go. Small marks of progress, baby steps even if the next time is hard.

Yes, in the depths of depression sunny days were worse. Like looking through a thick glass at others out enjoying themselves - not envy, just a bridge too far to cross.

It has been sunny but oh so cold in the wind, Doodle. Thank goodness for the church, and the very open hospice. They understand. Your feelings about the funeral make perfect sense. Also - well, celebrating a life. when my sister (the one a year younger than me) died in 2019, the "do" afterwards was full of connections and comfort for the family, what others said.

I like the idea of playing “doggie” with LG! What fun! I expect you were a large friendly one. My sister is very attached to her dog and has a special dog language which makes me smile, this very grown up very adult behaved doctor doing baby talk with her Bella.

You get up so early! You are a whizz on Vinted. Ah,the blessing of being a grandma, mum can deal with the bath.

I had a lovely time at the gym. I took my time as I woke so tired, had a nice hot shower in the morning, but its funny, when I get into the gym I start thinning I cat do much then I do. Sparks of others? Nice haircut, good job this time, I adore my hairdresser. She is absolutely genuine, loves her work and loves many of the people. She said I have lots of mums and grans.
A long term staff member had brought her newborn in. Oh my, the wee toes and fingers, and a sleeper at night too.

I had MrA, or rather, how to deal with the new situation, on my mind, and ideas formed, and I wrote a simple email to the Safeguarding woman when I was enjoying a post gym sesh at Costa that brought a reply Zoom next week.

Glad about that., needs a very very suitable approach, maybe something will come out of it. She’s not really come back to me when she should have, so I clearly said the right things this time.

Holding Scardeycat in mind for tomorrow: and never forgotten, those not posting today.

ScaredyCat Hope you were pleased with your hair after having it done. Did the visit from your stepson and his son
go well? What cake did you have?
Wyllow3 Another BD at the hairdresser's today - a good cut always feels so nice. Did you get to the gym?
SweetpeaSue I didn't think it looked like Cellulitis (I had it in my legs, many years ago, then in my face6 years ago. I think you're correct about it being Venous Insufficiency. "kicked himself in the leg"???What a ridiculous thing for her to say! I hope the new tablet will help your husband. It's so wrong that you and many other people have to keep fighting for proper medical treatment. I hope your husband gets to see a GP tomorrow.
Doodle It's been windy here, too, but warm and sunny. You had a good day. Did you have lunch at the hospice? No, LG doesn't yet dress up, but she pretends to be a dog sometimes, and crawls about with her tongue out! We pat her on the head and say "Good doggy".

Busy day - awake at 5.30, up at 6.30, cleaned up and took Jaffa for his check-up. He's doing well, but they'll check him again in a week. Went to my neighbour's house and chatted for an hour. LG was here, 4-8pm. She played with the new toys I've bought (Vinted bargains). She refused to have a bath (not my place to insist so she just had a wash). Hope ALL BDers have a good sleep.

Doodle Oh I see now about that man's funeral and in many ways I see that its not as bad when he doesnt leave his other half behind and can be re -united again. Im glad you had a nice time at church and the hospice. The sun does help but I hate wind.
I know DHs leg isnt a bruise as he had exactly the same marking on both legs nearly a yr ago but he never went to the Drs about them. Hope we get in tomorrow. Sleep well.x

Evening all. Had a nice day at church and then spent the afternoon at the hospice. Very pleasant. Sunny but really windy outside.
Thanks Sweetpeasue the funeral was ok. Nice actually. I never feel so sad if it’s the second person to go as I think they will be reunited with their loved ones. This man’s wife died last month and he wants to be with her.
I think your DH’s leg looks more like a bruise. Has he been resting it on something at night? Certainly if it gets bigger I’d see the GP. Cardiac nurse was hopeless. So much for reassurance. Glad you went to book club, hope you enjoyed it.
Wyllow sun does lift the spirits. As does a haircut and natter. Hope you’re feeling a bit brighter now.
Scaredycat sounds like you have a fun day planned. Lots of chat and cake. Be nice to see your stepson and his son.
HVDY hope your Dh doesn’t have to wait long to be seen in urology. Hopefully they’re keeping an eye on him.
Hope Jaffas follow up was ok. Does your LG ever dress up in nurses uniform and tend to the sick. Our DGD did. 😊
Whiff I agree about the BhF forum. Such a good place for advice and information. I’ve used it a lot in th past.
Ellie Anne that sunset is beautiful. How lovely. I too find disagreements upsetting even if I’m not personally involved. Hope it gets resolved amicably. Unusual for this sort of thing in a Bible group

Doodle You managed so well at that funeral but it must have been quite a strain. I think the hymns can bring such overwhelming emotion when they're sung and so many of the words can bring comfort and reassurance. Not all funerals are religious of course- DILs mum's wasnt but the photos shown of her life were very poignant. Made me reflect on just how short our Ives actually are in the great scheme of things. Hope youve had a decent day and had company that I know helps you a lot.

ThankyouWyllow The sun does have the power to lift ones mood a little doesnt it- unless depression is really bad, then nothing breaks through. Hope the natter at hairdressers helped too , and the gym. Its true that seeing our plant/seeds grow give us a sense of nurturing and watering gives us a purpose too.
Scardycat What a good idea about drawing g around the shape. One sure way to know it its spreading or retreating. Oh what a lovely excuse-- I mean REASON to have cake .Do hope you enjoy your visit from stepson and son.

Rang cardiac dept where I thought cardiac nurse worked. No joy. So rang the Cardiologist's secretary to tell her we didnt get feedback from cardiac nurse in follow up. She got cardiac nurse to call back. DH received call and hardly got a word in edgeways. Hes to have a new heart medication and she said consultant doesnt think the pain in chest at rest is angina pain. I took phone from DH and told her the GT spray relieved it so it must be and that he gets it on exertion. Hes just to take new med and will be called again on 1st July.
When DH began to tell her of big patch o n leg she replied that hed probably kicked himself in his sleep! The call was no more than 2mins.

Went to book group and it was quite nice.

Will try to get in to GP tomorrow.
Just feeling tired and fed up of fighting .

Hope everyone else has gad a reasonable day. Love to all.x

Thankyou for your thoughts Whiff and HVDY
Ive seen cellulitis on my aunt's legs Whiff but no, DHs are not hot or painfull and no itching. Yes, blood thinners cause easily bruised skin but this isnt bruising as he had it once before in same area. When we told Rheumatologist he said to take a photo if he had it again. Thanks, I didnt know there was a forum on BHF.
HVDY Oh yoube got a busy day ahead- enjoy LG when she comes.
Thanks for replying. I dont believe its cellulitis for above reasons . Im thinking its Venous Insufficiency because of his Vascular problems with heart- angina-
Im afraid DH wont see anyone today and is waiting for the GP tomorrow. He hasn't any faith in the others though there is another one but shes not there either.

I miss the gym awfully when I don't go, its my lifeline to a social life since it became more complicated with Q's.

I thought "Cellulitis" too. Looks very like, but I appreciate it could be blood and blood problems of course

Oh, I would have paid the £25 too, HVDY. I was thinking the firms that slam on the "£60" now or you pay £100" lot. I know quite a few people who do their ironing Sunday morning listening to The Archers omnibus. busy day for you.

That is a lovely picture, EllieAnne. well I understand all too well how a conflict in small religious group can be so painful. Just hold in your mind - it wasn't you, others will be motivated to sort it out, just carry on going and keep any opinion to yourself.

If asked, just say how sad you feel about it and personally dont feel you can comment, it's too upsetting.

Sunny out. I am weary after the last few days, woke as in had enough of all this, life too wearying, but the sun has lifted my mood and I even got out first thing to water yesterdays plantings and pot a plant the gardener said was urgent.

But I have a haircut and natter much later at the gym so I will attempt some exercise with my body as well as my nattering.

Hi all
SweetPeaSue
I agree with others that your DH needs seeing asap. You could draw round the marks to see if it’s spreading - I had to do that last week when I scraped my leg. Thought it was good idea.
HVDY- make time for a little rest in between all those jobs. LG will be pleased to see you and full of beans I expect.
EllieAnne- that’s a beautiful photo. You live in a wonderful area. Sorry you were upset at the meeting- so many people don’t stop and think before they open their mouth. Not pleasant for those who have to hear it all. Take care Ellie Anne.
Doodle- you must be tired because not only do you do lots of nice social activities but use a lot of energy grieving inside.
Housework can wait - take time out to just sit on your balcony for awhile each day and let the peace wash over you.
Wyllow- what a lovely verse.
It’s amazing how the first light in the morning brings hope with it.
I,m off to the hairdressers in a minute for a cut and catch up on all the news. Then coffee with DH at M and S.
My Stepson is coming this afternoon with his grown up Son Who’s visiting from abroad. Better buy a cake!!
Love to allxxxx

EllieAnne Sorry you felt upset about the argument between others. Best to give a wide berth. Beautiful photo there. Hope all goes well for your trip to your son's.

SweetpeaSue My husband has been on Tamsulosin for many years, for his prostate. The symptoms are worse now, so he's being referred back to Urology. I don't like the look of your husband's leg. I'm not sure it's Cellulitis (which can be extremely serious). Is it hot to the touch? I think a doctor should see him today Sad about your aunt.
Doodle Jaffa's doing very well. He's got a check-up at 4, so I hope things will be ok. Re the lack of energy - I know what you mean. Could you get a cleaner/ironing lady? Glad you got the mobile banking sorted out. Are you going out today?
Wyllow3 It was a council car park at the leisure centre. My husband said to pay it (£25 if paid within 14 days, £60 otherwise), so I have. No wonder you felt worn out - you did a lot of weeding there. The time goes quicker when we're chatting or enjoying something. I ironed about 20 items last night whilst listening to music on my headphones.

Busy day today - shopping, cleaning, vet, LG here at 4, so making dinner to include her, then bathing her before she goes at 8pm. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Sweetpeasue has the mark on your husband's leg spread ,does it feel hot to the touch and is it painful?

I fell into my wall twice a year apart . Just thought the mark was odd because I was on blood thinners. It was on my shin only when it spread did I see my GP and it was cellulitis and needed antibiotics. I didn't realise cellulitis could be serious. It was the other leg the second time but I knew what it was so got help before it spread.

Earlier this year had mystery mark on the back of my left leg that looks like your husband's saw GP she couldn't decide what it was but prescribed antibiotics and it cleared up .

Being on heart medication especially blood thinners you have to be more aware of changes to your skin . Cuts and bruises are worse and don't heal as quickly. Plus I can't eat anything crunchy as they give me blood blisters in my mouth .They don't hurt but feel weird and look black . They go on their own .

BHF has a forum for all things heart related . It's like GN you use a username but for me it's been very helpful and hopefully helped in return . People's personal experiences I have found help more as it's warts and all. No idea if this helps .

https://signal-corridor.live/uploads/talk/202604/medium-59stus-1000015398.jpg%3C/span%3E https://signal-corridor.live/uploads/talk/202604/medium-42d4si-1000015397.jpg%3C/span%3E

Wyllow Actually the talk with British Heart Foundation cardiac nurse just enforced my thoughts that DH needed some help. She didnt think the 'follow up' from cardiac nurse ,who didnt come back to us, was any help at all.
Just, in case anyone thinks Im over reacting, which Im sure they dont, Im sharing the photo of DHs leg.

EllieAnne Its really upsetting listening to such passionate disagreements with those who you are familiar with. ( I think it happens frequently with clashes about interpretations of bible verses ect)
Its such a shame you cant share your feelings with your DH. Not sure if its any consolation but I certainly cant share any religious views with my DH either.
Such a lovely photo - thankyou for sharing.