What can we as grandparents do?

What do her parents say? I’d be careful and take their guidance.
If it was your child my advice would be different.

We have not yet spoken to our DS regarding our concerns, but are no longer in contact with our DiL

I would tell her parents, in case they weren't aware, and ensure my home is her safe constant space.

With Exams and problems with her parents, having to move home it's probably a nervous stomach? She's had a lot to take on at one time.
Hope she will be fine.

What visgirl said.

Well it doesn’t sound like an upset stomach to me I would be much more worried about anorexia especially as so much negative stuff is going on in her life I think you need to leave it to the parents to sort with her (unless they have asked for your help) but I think you ve answered your own question,,,, she’s been working hard for her 10 GCEs, her mum and dad are splitting up and moving so of course she is in shock, upset, frightened , everything is moving from under her feet and she has no control over any of it and she doesn’t know how to handle it so she is unconsciously looking for something she she can control which is her own actions (her food intake) so that’s what she’s doing without even realising it
You say ‘we noticed’ so I presume your son has noticed this is happening too…….is he approachable to talk to ?

That behaviour suggests bulimia to me 😕

You need to speak to her parents first. The whole divorce might be triggering something else in the poor kid. It does sound like anorexia. Hugs.

Sounds like bulimia .
Poor girl-it's all too much for her .
I would tell her parents .
Can she stay with you ?

if she has an eating disorder it needs to be dealt with quickly, no pussy footing around.
Speak to her parents and she needs to be taken to the GP
If help isn't forthcoming, prepare to pay privately if you can

You need to raise this with her father CountessFosco. He may be agreeable to you talking to her about this but you need to talk to him first.

I hope between you, you'll be able to find out what the problem is and help your GD. Good luck .

Sorry i wrote too quickly I shouldn’t have said anorexia but eating disorder
She sounds as if she is controlling her food intake because she can’t control anything else in her life at the moment

Whether or not she has an eating disorder, it's pretty obvious that the situation with her parents is upsetting. Presumably she feels adrift.

What can you do? Try to provide stability, a place where she's safe and welcome (even if you can't have her to stay with you) and where she can keep things that are important to her if she wants to. Just be there for her until her life settles down again. You could also encourage her dad to keep her informed about what is going on as that should help her to cope.

The best thing you can do is make it very clear to her that you are are there for her. Speculation on what is happening is dangerous. She is under huge emotional stress just now and will benefit from some stability from you. I wish her well, good luck.

It could be anxiety/ nerves. With everything going on in her life .

Talk to her , tell her about your feelings.. "Ann, this is a really hard time emotionally, isn't it. I 'm terribly sad about the divorce, cried buckets and can't sleep. "

This shows her she's not alone and its safe to talk about being unhappy. . She's probably holding in all her distress to protect her parents and not be an extra worry to them.

Go to the bathroom straight after her "rush" , and see if you smell either vomit or telltale airfreshener.

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/bulimia/

Both her parents need to be told asap. Don't assume they have noticed what you did; they may be totally distracted by their upheaval.

and from experience; despite what ex DIL had done to ds and gc and another family, my hard job was and remains to grit teeth and maintain cool civil relations with her for the GC sake.

OP ,this sounds like an eating disorder and the situation is classic , stress of exams , patents divorcing , moving home and possibly school. It’s her way of gaining some control over the situation.
Find a time to talk to her about your concerns . And talk to her parents. They maybe so wrapped in their concerns, they haven’t noticed .
Just a thought about her clothes . It’s summer , is she wearing baggy clothes or joggers , hiding any weight loss.
Despite any acrimony with the DIL , your dgd comes first .

Shelflife

The best thing you can do is make it very clear to her that you are are there for her. Speculation on what is happening is dangerous. She is under huge emotional stress just now and will benefit from some stability from you. I wish her well, good luck.

Agree with this. Stability is what she needs. Also someone needs to sit her down and explain exactly what is happening such as where she will live and how she is not losing anyone.

We went through this with our daughter when she was 18 having just finished her A levels. She decided that she didn’t need to eat anymore. Her grandfather had just died and she wasn’t an expressive person. She hid her feelings and they came out in this way. She did tell her young brother that she didn’t need to eat anymore as she had done her exams. We didn’t think that she was bulimic but later on found out that she was. I would reiterate what others have said, that she should be taken to the GP urgently. And the GP should be told how important it is that she is referred immediately in order to stop this from getting worse. Just to let you know that our daughter did recover after a year or so of therapy and went on to have four children. It will pass but do get the right help now? My mother ( her grandmother) ‘interfered’ and insisted that we got her help. We were burying our heads in the sand, not knowing anything about eating disorders and hoping it would go away. Good luck

You definitely need to speak to your DS and tell him your observations and fears as this appears classic signs of an eating disorder.
Maybe he has noticed it too but doesn't know how to approach it with his DD and needs your support and help as it can be difficult for Dads to talk about this sort of thing with teenage daughters. Stay in close contact with your GD so she knows she has the stability of you as adults in her life.
Hope she will be OK once the current stresses have subsided a little.

On the face of it this sounds like bulimia. I'm sure this has occurred to you, too. It is a mental health condition and often a cry for help from the victim.
Your GD who you describe as sensitive finds herself with her world being turned upside down. Quite apart from the studying and pressure of 10 GCSE's with those results determining her next steps in education, she is about to lose her home and the family life she has led for as long as she can remember. Maybe with everything going on with your DS and DIL they have not seen the worrying signs that you have. Speak calmly to your son about it. If it is bulimia then her parents are the ones to make decisions in the first instance but may well need your support. What your GD doesn't need is to be made to feel any more hurt and uncertain than she already is. People with bulimia often feel out of control with what is going on in their life. Eating is one of the few things they can control. I wish her well and you too.

Sounds like her response to family trauma. Most important, be there for her. Provide a strong, secure presence and she will find her way through it all.

So, the parents are divorcing and the family home is going, all while she is taking ten GCSEs.
Poor child.
I expect working for her exams has kept family worries at bay; now the exams are over reality is flooding in and everything that was stable in her life is disappearing.

The parents appear to have no concern for their child, only themselves. Obviously no thought for the effect the timing of the marriage split will/may/is having on their daughter.

Have a few brief words with them, share your concerns and make your home a safe haven for your granddaughter and a refuge from stress.

Thank you all sincerely for your wise advice and comments. Without wishing to be too forthcoming, we feel it is bulimia. The two girls are off on holiday today with their Dad alone. Perhaps that will bring some stability? If not, we shall speak with him when they return.

My daughter went through a period of ana - so I later discovered did a large number of girls at her high achieving newly mixed school (just a side issue). But before I knew anything (yes we were over busy too) - she had contacted school health - they helped her get to see a psychologist, who helped with listening and gave her a relaxation tape (new thing then) - she sort of pulled herself round - so there is help and hope.