Palliative Chemotherapy - your thoughts?

DH had palliative chemotherapy and the side effects were horrible, he became so incapacitated that he was unable to attend the hospital and the treatment was halted. In hindsight I wish he had not had it.

Grammaretto, my husband’s diagnosis took 8 weeks from the scans that showed lung, lymph, brain, bone cancer. Histology and several pathology investigations into biopsies confirmed kidney as the primary cancer source. Scans of his kidneys were unremarkable, the consultant concluded his immune system had washed it away but not before it spread to the areas kidney cancer metastases to.
He had drug and immunotherapy, the aim to slow the disease and improve his quality of life. The hope was he’d live anither 12-18 months. The consultant was clear though, that what happened in his brain would dictate that. The drugs and immunotherapy was effective with the cancers. The radiotherapy shrunk the brain tumours but destroyed carotid arteries which led to a series of strokes.

I’m grateful to the nhs for giving him the best chance to live longer and well. Its a dreadful, vicious disease

Surely it wouldn't be offered for no good reason
I would ask the consultant and specialist nurses about the implications.

DH had a form of chemotherapy and immunotherapy for 4 years following his diagnosis of advanced kidney cancer.
It was tough but probably prolonged his life and quality of life which he and I am forever grateful for.

Thank you to all you lovely gransnetters for decribng you experiances and airing you views on this subject. I gather that it is standard practice for most people on palliative care to be offered chemotherapy. It is not for anyone to say what should and shouldnt be done. My personal view is that with most pancriatic cases the prognosis is terminal and that chemotherapy is a hard option. Why inflict pain on pain for longer than is necessary.
I regularly visit a friend who has pancriatic cancer. She had her first chemo two weeks ago and was so poorly she made the decision to suffer it no longer.

I am glad for those who's loved ones had a peaceful death. My dad died in his sleep next to my mom. Unfortunately my poor mom didn't realise he was dead . Got up at usual time. Got dressed and then touched him . Even then she still didn't realise . Only after my brother and I got there found he had been dead for hours .

I have watched 3 people die since they did not have peaceful deaths. In each case it was horrific. I wouldn't like anyone to think death is like on TV . Also one another thread someone made out death was beautiful . I got jumped when I talked about my experiences. But then others shared their experience and it was the same of mine.

We all wish our loved ones would die peacefully pain free in their sleep but my experience is that the 3 people who I watched die died in agony. And as they where dieing each looked skeletal as there skin tighten round their faces . And at the point of dead lost control of their bladder. As my dad did but never told my mom . We had to tell her the look on his face was normal . When in fact he must have had a massive heart attack as his face was frozen in terror. Mom was a light sleeper but he never made a sound to wake her. She could never have coped if she knew.

Sorry if this has upset anyone but this is my experience. I nursed my husband ,helped mom with my dad and had my mom live with me the last 18 months of her life she had cancer and dementia. Did it ourselves without carers .

But if you need help get it and if you have to put your loved one in a home or hospice then do what's best for you and them. And never feel guilty if you need the help. It was my choice to do what I did but it cost me health wise. But didn't realise how much until after my mom the last one to die .

But the main thing is no matter how tough things get you do it out of love and love never dies .

I have a friend on “palliative” chemotherapy, after 3 rounds of breast cancer treatment that failed, she is generally well and accepts that she is needs to enjoy life while she can, family are close and supporting her as best they can.

Peaceful death in hospital.

My lovely son in law died from pancreatic cancer four years ago. He was offered palliative chemo but refused as his prognosis was so poor. He died in 8 weeks from playing squash the day he got the diagnosis to a pr

My dear friend had an aggressive form of pancreatic cancer and opted for palliative chemotherapy.
It was really tough and she suffered a stroke. But she was desperate to live those extra couple of months, so that she could die knowing she had done all that she could for her (adult) daughters.
Her widower is on a much longer term form of palliative treatment and has outlived his prognosis and is doing well.

Thank you to those of you who explained about palliative chemo.
It must always be an individual choice and must be so difficult to come to a decision.

My neighbour had an aggressive form of breast cancer. She was offered this and refused it. She had two little girls and said she didn't want it dragged out to never recover. She was only 39.

My husband had palliative infusions. They did shrink or stop the metastasised cancers. The radiotherapy for brain mets shrank them but destroyed his carotid arteries. He lived for 6 months post devastating diagnosis. The infusions were brutal. If I’m ever in a similar position I doubt I’ll accept palliative care

DH accepted palliative care, including chemo by mouth and was told it would continue indefinitely, as more new products/treatments came to market.
He had lymphoma (blood cancer) which suddenly and unexpectedly got into his spinal cord and brain, and for which there was nothing that could be done.
As LOUISA says, it’s a personal decision and until we’ve walked in those shoes …..

My dh is on the palliative chemo route. It means he has incurable cancer. He has been on palliative chemo since the day of first lockdown - so three years plus. He is currently having a break from gruelling chemo but recent scan and blood results show cancer growing so oncologist advice is to restart. DH has had bowel cancer for 10yrs with a few operations and chemo originally with a hope of a cure. Now the cancer is in bowel with lungs and liver metasteses. Inoperable. Pancreatic cancer patients sadly tend not to be so “lucky” in gaining that much more time if on chemo. Personally i dont think i could cope with the chemo regime

My dad accepted palliative treatment which is different from ongoing active treatment aimed at a possible cure. It meant that he could come home from England to us in Scotland for his last few months and even managed a hill walk with an old friend who had travelled all the way from the North of England to see him the weekend before he died. My mum refused any suggestion that she may have cancer - she did - and/or might need treatment for it as she was already frail after surviving DVT's in both legs.... She had achieved a long held dream of visiting New Zealand, the home of a man who had asked her to marry him the week before he was killed in WW11.... She met all his relatives, who were delighted to learn he had wanted to marry her. They invited her to stay with them and gave a party for her with all his friends. They also gave her his family tree which showed a strong link with Morayshire and Orkney which are significant places for us too...! When it was clear that, although brilliant NHS care had saved her legs, she would not recover her independence, she died suddenly within 6 months of her NZ trip. I think I would accept palliative care if it would improve the quality of my last few months but otherwise not 'not strive....to keep alive' ....

My husband had grade 4 malignant melanoma in 2001 and from diagnosis and cancer removed we knew he wouldn't live 5 years. October 2003 he was diagnosed with terminal cancer 6 tumours. He had palliative chemo every 3 weeks he only had 2 side effects apart from being tired but that was due to the cancer and agonising pain. He lost his sense of taste and became impotent . 2 things he didn't want to happen. But he had set himself a goal to reach his 47th birthday in February. He collapsed the week before and had his birthday in hospital the day after he was given 5 weeks. Because of needing oxygen he came home on the Wednesday . He died on the Friday 4 days after his birthday. He died at home with me and the children. Even on full oxygen he couldn't breath as he had 3 tumours in his right lung,one in his chest and 2 in the brain by optical nerve he was going blind. I had to tell he to stop we would be ok. He died few minutes later. He was 47, I was 45 and our children 20 and 16. He got his wish and got to his birthday but it cost him a lot in pain which made him scream into a pillow until the morphine kicked in.

The only dose of morphine that would have stopped his pain was a dose that would have killed him .

After we knew he wouldn't live 5 years he didn't want anyone but me and the kids he wouldn't live. As he didn't want anyone to treat him differently. Or in his words dead man walking . Unfortunately when we had to tell people he was terminal that's what happened so he cut them out of his life.

If my husband had wanted to died I would have gladly given him an overdose . But it's only the person with cancer who decides what they want in the way of treatment . It's their life and their body. No one has the right to decide for them.

But whatever the person decides their loved ones must support them whether they agree to their choice or not.

Palliative chemo can improve quality of life for the last months....and relieve pain ...not sure the understanding here around chemo....not all chemo is horrendous .....they won't go in with the big guns ....side effects can be minimal ....its a balance ....definitely personal choice ....but until you are walking in those shoes as a palliative patient.... you don't really know what you would choose

My DH died from pancreatic and liver cancer , he was offered palliative chemotherapy but chose not to and we thought he would have 2-3 months to be with the family . He died within 3 weeks sadly, but he did have that precious time with us at home without the trauma of chemotherapy. It’s a difficult choice and I fully understand anyone wanting to hold on as long as possible, but it was the best choice for DH .

Palliative chemotherapy can ease pain by partially shrinking a tumour and relieving pressure on other organs. Although it mightn’t prolong the patient’s life it can improve the quality of their remaining life by easing distressing symptoms.

Some want to live as long as possible, I have an aunt that would like to not have anymore treatment but my uncle wants her to keep going so she puts herself through it for him.

I suppose none of us know how we would react and if it offered it is down to individual choice

I think it should be up to the individual. I would refuse it myself, and just ask for tons of pain relief instead.

But some people want to eke out their last few months of life, perhaps to say goodbye, perhaps just to put off the inevitable.

Wendy Richard was offered palliative chemo and took it.

I’ve never heard of palliative chemotherapy? Is it a different to the curing kind?

It’s a tough call, you can’t stop it but only delay the inevitable at quite a miserable cost. I know I’ve seen enough to not want the chemo ……but there may be reasons for others doing it.

I think we have to accept we can’t last for ever and if the treatment was going to be given for just a few months extra then no 5 years yes but 12 months or less no