Black Dog 18

Our weather is awful wind and rain. But I will wander around the town and go to see my. Friend.
None of my family are close enough to pop in and I have not spoken to the son who upset me . I don’t think my children like me much .
Because of the situation at home I couldn’t survive without friends.
But I am very low and if he wasn’t at home I think I would not go out much.
Everything is an effort and although I rarely cry it feels like the tears are lurking in the back ground if that makes any sense.
I know to those who have lost someone they Löve or are dealing with serious health problems it may seem trivial.
Thinking especially of Wyllow today.

HVDY Thanks, I didn't think about the Prednisolone affect on cholesterol. Something to take into consideration. He has his next inflammation marker blood test next Friday so will speak to Dr week after.
Wish we he could get F2F but they wouldn't allow it I know.
Hope your weekend goes well.
Doodle Good idea about writing something down for DH. He can get irritated when I'm signing to him while he's on the phone 🤭

Not too bad this morning. Taken med and picking up aunt shortly. Hope everyone is ok.

SweetpeaSue Hope you have some nice cake somewhere with your aunt today.

EllieAnne You seem to get the worst weather where you are. It's windy, grey but mild here. I hope you can chat with your friend.

Just had my flu jab, then DH and I went to Son2's (he's not there but we've got a key) to check the new shower that DH installed the other day. All ok, so back home again (all my husband ever wants to do is sit at home doing crosswords or watching tv). Booked tickets for Matlock (Derbyshire) illuminations tomorrow evening, which will be a change. Hope ALL BDers are ok x

EllieAnne I'm sorry you're feeling so v bad and no, its not trivial at all. We all have different things affecting our MH and I'm lucky not to be in your shoes. I don't know where you get the strength to keep going. I ecpect your AC don't know what to say or do about your relationship with their dad. I'm sure they couldn't dislike you when you are such a good mum and you help your son out so much with washing, housework ect. My son2 is close enough to pop in, when he's home, though I never do unless I'm expected. Its different for all families, there's no right or wrong, just the way families sort of work out what's comfortable. Think with sons its often different to daughters as they often get more drawn in to their partners families. But I'm sure your son loves you. I think you'll feel better when you both get chance to speak to each other about whatever it is. I hope you can see your friend today. I just can't imagine not being comfortable in your own home so that you're looking for somewhere to go every weekend. Will you go to church tomorrow? I hope the weather improves where you are and you may be able to have a walk tomorrow. I feel for you. Sending a hug. X

Thank you sweet pea sue. We have flood warnings and trains are off because the lines are flooded.
I will go to church tomorrow but I sometimes think that I go for the wrong reasons.
My son messaged me this morning to see if I can look after gs on a day when nursery is closed and both of them working. Of course I will (45 min drive) but I’m sad that’s the only time they want me.

EllieAnne Such a shame about weather there as, although v windy its been warm here. Hope it will be better for you tomorrow. I'm sorry you might feel a bit taken for granted. It seems to be a common problem with most grandparents from what Ive seen regarding childminding, but I'm sure you must be valued though might get overlooked when they are busy. Hoping you have a better day tomorrow.
HVDY We took aunt for gew groceries in supermarket with costa franchise. No cake just toastie. Googled Matlock illuminations and it looks amazing. Hadnt heard of it before. Hope weather stays good for you.

So tired tonight. Went for another walk today and my legs are aching. Need to keep doing it though.
Sweetpeasue it’s been so hot here I was out walking with a t shirt. I think the weather in different parts of the country is very different. Feel sorry for all those in Scotland with the heavy rain and flooding.
I can see your logic in wanting your DH to wait to take the statins till you find out about how the prednisolone is affecting him. If you start taking different things at the same time then you don’t know what caused the side effects.
Like you I never pop in on my sons without asking them first. I don’t appreciate people descending on me unannounced so wouldn’t do it to them either,
Nice of you to take auntie out. I bet she was pleased.
HVDY hope your sons are both getting on well.
Good your SIL isn’t too far away from you, makes it easier to pop in. The burning sensation you mention doesn’t sound very good at all. DH’s legs don’t burn they are just irritating and sometimes he has stabbing pains. Have you tried cold compress on them or is the burning sensation impervious to cold?
Ellie Anne I think all of us feel sorry for the situation you are in. I can’t imagine what it’s like to live with someone when you have no desire or wish to do so. You seem stuck in a situation and I’m so sorry it’s so hard for you.
I don’t suppose your son is aware he upset you. People are often oblivious to causing hurt in others. You do so much for your children and I know you care about them. Perhaps they’re just not good at showing they care. Lots of people are like that. There is nothing trivial about your problems. In fact I would say it is a really serious problem and difficult to overcome. Don’t ever think we don’t take your issues seriously
Young people have busy lives. They don’t necessarily think about inviting family over. I’m glad you’ll get the chance to see your DGS and spend time with him.
Doesn’t matter whether you go to church for the right or wrong reasons. He will always welcome you there and be with you. It’s hard to believe, I know that but we have to have Hope.
HVDy we had our flu jabs today. DH is ok but I’ve got a sore aching arm. At least your DH does stir to help out your sons. I’ve not heard of the illuminations before. Hope you have a good time.
Hope all of you with awful weather get some sunshine soon.
Wyllow sending love and hope things will improve for you soon.

Doodle All your walking will be so good for your leg strength and fitness so you've done amazing. Ive been trying to take my stairs more each day to strengthen knee but not sure if its working yet. Fine line drawn between doing just enough or too much. I hadn't realised how bad the weather has been in Scotland till saw the TV news. Poor EllieAnne.
Dont think Drs always think about side effect consequences when giving more medications, I think they've not got the time. Have bought some spring bulbs to plant in a couple of tubs. Seems like an insurance that Winter will come to an end.🙂 I hate the dark mornings and evenings.
Nadateturbe Hope youve had a good rest today.
Wyllow As always thoughts often of you and wishing you peace and healing.

Hope all BDs and those who read a restful night.

Hop

Good evening everyone. how I dont go to church. I see various neighbours when I am out with dogs and as I live in a teeny tiny village we all chat. They have all been very kind. My immediate neighbours are wonderful people but on the complete flip we all shut the front door and keep ourselves to ourselves.
sweetpea I still have the dogs and my beautiful binks. When I take the dogs out I have a line of cats coming with me! Except binks. He sits on the table all day waiting to be fed had a video chat with my eldest GD last night. How I adore her. Its my GDs and my DD & DS that keep me hanging on. If I didn't have them I would have joined my husband ages ago

warmest wishes BD's xx

EllieAnne Your son probably doesn't realise he'd upset you the other day. I expect he'd be upset if he knew. Things can be misconstrued as well. Nice that you'll get to spend some time with your grandson though. It must be very difficult to not feel comfortable in your own home. Doesn't your husband go out or see any friends? I hope you go to church today and find people to chat with.

Doodle Having cool water on my legs helps, but obviously, I can't do that all the time. The petechiae rash is on my arms as well. It begins as tiny red dots, which then turn orange/brown after so many days. It looks like close-together freckles (I am fair-skinned anyway). As Annie used to say, keep walking. Hope the weather stays good where you are.

Nanny2507 You sound like the Pied Piper with your line of dogs and cats . Pets can make wonderful companions. Could you perhaps invite anyone around for coffee? Or are there any village meetings of any kind?

Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

He goes for the paper in the morning 10 mins and goes out if he has an appointment eg vaccine. Sees 2 friends for an hour about once a month. That’s it.

EllieAnne That must make things extremely difficult for you. Hasn't he got any hobbies? My husband likes to faff about in his (massive) shed. Doesn't your husband get bored? Does he do housework at all?

His only hobby is golf but he hasn’t played for months. His partner has heAlth problems and keeps cancelling.
He will do housework if asked but mainly sits in front of tv or computer.

Nanny2507 You've a lot of animals to look after and that must keep you busy. The way the cats all follow you when taking out your dogs sounded so funny. Do you still have the snakes too? I'm glad you have some of the villagers to talk to. I wonder if your home is far from the village. My aunt feels quite isolated with no neighbours, especially since she lost her DH. I can see how the video/facetime chats with your DGD must be a special highlight of your day and I'm pleased you have a loving DS and DD. I'm sure they must love and care about you. Hoping today hasn't been too bad for you and wishing you a peaceful night.
EllieAnne It's v difficult if your husband rarely leaves the house. Whole situation sounds intolerable. I hope you managed a chat with a friend in church this morning and it's been better weather for a walk.

Been a nice day here again, went for another short walk but my legs really ached. Not used to so much exercise even though I was going very slowly.
Sweetpeasue I’m sure a little regular exercise over time will help strengthen muscles.
I think Doctors check if medications contra indicate each other but don’t necessarily think of all the side effects. After all, some people won’t have them. It’s just unfortunate if you happened to be one of the ones that does.
Do you plant your spring bulbs in tubs or in borders? I love thé spring flowers, Annie’s favorite I remember was snowdrops but I like crocuses and daffs too.
Nanny your village sounds nice and friendly. I’m glad people are kind to you and you can chat when you’re out with the dogs. Yes family are important. I’m glad you get on with yours. How is your son coping? Must be hard for you both.
Dear Binks. I remember when you found him and how reluctant he was to get involved with you at first. You obviously won him over.
Ellie Anne apart from making you go out a lot it’s not good you DH doesn’t go out. He must be bored being inside all the time.
Hope you have been able to do something this weekend. Like HVDY said I’m sure your son hasn’t realised he’s upset you. Men aren’t good at picking up on these things. Hope you have a better week this week.
HVDY if the cold water helps your legs have you thought of cold patches you can buy. I bought some from Amazon when I broke my wrist. They come in a box or five or six circular pads about the size of a large cup and you can leave them in the freezer. One side has a fabric effect on and you can use them to cool your skin.
Obviously you can’t walk round with them on but I wondered if you could use them in the evenings or in bed if you’re troubled.
Scaredycat hope you are having a lovely time and the weather is ok.
Candy ,Nadateturbe have you been off to your caravans?
Wyllow thinking of you. xx

doodle I win everyone over in the end

😊 x

Doodle You are persevering with the walking and put us to shame. My excuse today is the low tide times are wromg(too early or too late) though I should get used to walking the streets around us. The daff and crocus bulbs were for tubs which I put in this afternoon. I have some snowdrops under our poor diseased plum tree. DH not been able to prune this yr. There are quite a few things in the garden and house that have had to be left tbh.
HVDY I'm sorry your legs still causing you that horrible burning. The cold patches might be an idea. Are your foxes still visiting?
Hymnbook Hoping you are ok.
Wyllow Thinking of you as always.

Wishing all and those not personally mentioned a restful night.

Night night thinking and following BD's xx

EllieAnne To be honest, my husband loves to be at home, sitting watching tv (usually old repeats) or doing crosswords. I have to nag him to do anything. Could you persuade your husband to visit your daughter on occasion? I hope you've been able to get out and see someone to talk to today.

Doodle Thanks. I bought some cooling pads from Amazon, a few months ago. I've tried them when my legs have been very bad. The burning sensation (my legs never feel hot to the touch) is tolerable at the moment. Glad you managed to have a walk today. It's good exercise. Have you had good weather? It's been lovely here today.

SweetpeaSue Your bulbs will be beautiful when they come up. Our garden has been neglected lately. DH mows the grass, but we ought to make the effort to weed and tidy up.

Scaredycat
Candy ,*Nadateturbe*, Wyllow, Whiff, Hymnbook and ALL, hope you're all getting on alright.

It's been a lovely day - DH and I met Son1, his girls, his GF and her boy, and were treated to Sunday lunch at a nice pub, then the kids all played on the park. Then, DH and I met Son2, DIL, her girl and the baby, at Matlock this evening. The illuminations/boat display were great. Got home 20 minutes ago, so off to bed now. Hope ALL BDers have a restful night x

I was going to say evening everyone. But it's morning l suppose. Thank you for thinking of me. I'm not well at the moment. My GP has sent me for lots of tests. I have the last one on Wednesday an ultrasound. When all the results are back l need to make an appointment to see the doctor.
Lots of problems with my middle sister and her husband. It's wearing me and my youngest sister out. Sleepless nights.
I hope you are all managing. Thinking of Wyllow. Hope everyone has a good nights rest.

Hymnbook. Sorry you're not well. I hope the tests reveal what's wrong so that you can get the appropriate treatment as soon as possible. Waiting for results can be worrying, can't they, but hopefully your doctor will be able to sort things out soon. Family problems are always a worry. Sometimes, all you can do is offer sympathy and advice.

Hymnbook So sorry to hear you've not been well. You are bound to be a bit anxious until you know the scan results. The worries about family can really make us feel so much worse. I hope the those issues won't be long lasting and can be resolved soon. Sleep is often the first thing to be affected and everything feels so much worse at night. Do hope you will feel better soon and it wont be long before your scan results are back. Physical health has a big impact on our mental health too. Thanks for coming in and letting us know how you are. Take care.

Hello all. Sorry I haven’t been in but I,ve been reading all your posts. Sending love to all of you- those who are sad, those not well and those who have so many problems that combine the 2 . Internet here is iffy and I,m not so good using the phone to post. We are enjoying this week I just get so tired from late afternoon onwards. We,ll be back at the weekend and I,ll be with you properly. I think
Of you all everyday and wish you could all share this lovely place.
Take care all and see you soonxx