Black Dog 18

Hymn book I hope your results are good. Family problems drag you down don’t they?
Hvdy I can’t go out with him unless it’s a family thing but none of them live very close and we rarely see them. I only see my gds because I go over to help in the house. Dd is too far away to visit and I think I annoy her when I go which doesn’t help her mh. At the moment I don’t feel up to the drive anyway. I’m very weary.

Sweetpeasue we didn’t walk today we went for lunch with friends which was really nice but I’m so tired now. I have come to the conclusion that part of my exhaustion is being so overweight. I have been trying to diet but fast as I lose a pound I gain two. Must make more of an effort.
I would love to be able to walk on the beach but yes it has to be the right time for the tide. Your tubs will be lovely when they bloom. Can we have a picture when they come out,
HVDY DH has hot burning in his feet which is quite strange as they’re usually cold. His is peripheral neuropathy.
What a lovely family day you had over the weekend. How do your DGDs get on with their dad GF and son? Good you had a nice time at Matlock too. That sounds fun
Hymbook I’m sorry you’ve not been well. Hopefully the test will be able to show if there’s anything wrong and maybe treatment. As HVDY says try not to worry and hope the results come through soon.
Any family dispute causes problems. Do you live near your sisters?
Scaredycat so pleased you are enjoying your second holiday destination. Are you still by the coast. Hope you are getting the good weather and not the rain.
Ellie Anne being depressed makes you weary. I’m glad you got to see your DGS and GDS. the young ones are always fun to be with.
It’s good you have friends to be with and some nice places to walk. Wish you could find some small groups to get involved in. Has your friends funeral happened yet?
Wyllow have you seen your sister recently. I Hope you’re keeping in touch with her x

ScaredyCat Glad you're having a nice holiday. What's the weather like there?

EllieAnne You're a good mum to help your son and his family with the housework. I'm sure they appreciate it, and at least you get to see your GS that way. Would/could you invite them for tea at your house, perhaps? I hope the weather is better where you are - I saw it on the news earlier, where some people in Scotland have had terrible floods.

Doodle Going out for a meal is something I love doing. I need to get fitter, though, and need to lose a lot of weight - my fat is all around the middle (MIL used to say I was barrel-shaped, and I was about 3 stone less then). My GDs get on very well with their dad's GF and son (the boy goes to the same school as GD1, he's 6 months older than her). The girls are looking forward to spending more time with their dad when he moves in with his GF (she's got a much bigger house so they'll have a bigger bedroom). They love her pets, too. I was tested for Peripheral neuropathy in April and was found not to have it.

It's been a warm day here. Cleaned the bedrooms, changed the beds, got washing dry. Bought a travel cot as the baby is staying here overnight on Friday. Got her a few toys, too.

Hope ALL BDers have been ok today. I was just dozing off (lazy thing) when the 'phone rang and livened me up x

*

Evening everyone. I had to miss going to choir this evening l was so tired I'm not sleeping well at all at the moment.
I do live near my sisters that's one reason why l moved back to the city from the county.
It's lovely to hear about you all spending time with your families.
I hope one day l can do that with my son and his girls and my daughter in law to of course (if l must)
I'm afraid she is the cause of all the estrangement and it hasn't helped with my ex putting his two penorth in either.
Thinking of you all especially Wyllow l used to love her quirky posts on the Good morning thread and finding out about the Quakers.
Good night sleep well.

Night night warm waves to all BD's xx

Good morning, all. How is everyone? It's bright and sunny here, so I've got washing on the line. Going to get my mope chopped this afternoon. Hope ALL DBers have a decent day x

Hello all, finally caught up. We went to our caravan at the weekend when you would think I’d have more time to read/respond but we spend our time mostly walking and eating out then I’m exhausted. In fact, I slept most of Saturday afternoon and Sunday afternoon. My energy levels are so low at the moment.
Nadaterturbe thanks for the tip re lost posts. I’m currently using it now! I hope you are feeling easier now about your son leaving. I can empathise totally. I’m usually ok a few days after mine has left, I’ll always miss him but after the first few days, I feel I can cope a little better. I hope your energy levels are better now.
HVDY your burning legs sound such a nuisance, I hope you get some sound advice at your appointment on the 19th. I hope your DiL gets better treatment at the new hospital and at least it makes it easier for you to visit. Sounds like you had a lovely day with your family and the illuminations sound great. I’ve been to Matlock Bath once, is that anywhere near Matlock itself? Hope you like your new haircut. I had mine done the other week but I’m not happy with the colour because it looks no different than before I went. It’s difficult though because my hairdresser is also a friend and has a few family issues so I won’t say anything. It’s disappointing though.
Nanny I’m sorry for your situation. It must be hard for you. Would you think about moving nearer to family? I think it’s something I would consider. I wouldn’t want to be a burden or anything as we all need to lead our own lives, but at least you could meet up easier? It’s nice you get some joy from your family and of course from your lovely pets. I love both my dogs but one is older now and I can’t do much with him except give him lots of cuddles, bless him.
Doodle good news about your DH not needing that op. You must be relieved. You are doing well keeping up with the walking too. Hope your arm has eased after your jab. We’ve not had ours yet, we usually get a message from the surgery when we can book in.
Sweetpeasue I can understand your worry about your DH taking statins, especially when he’s doing well on the steroids. I don’t know anything about statins but I hope the GP advises withholding them for now at least. You are very kind to your Aunt, she must enjoy her little outings. Your tubs will be lovely. I have to admit that I leave everything garden wise to DH. I’m not so good with indoor plants either so he has to look after those too. He likes doing the garden though thankfully.
Ellie Anne like others have said, I’m sure your son didn’t mean to hurt you and he’s probably not even aware he has done so. I have these little incidences with my children too but I always put mine down to me being over sensitive. I tend to go over and over it too which doesn’t help. I do feel for you with your home situation. My husband doesn’t arrange to do anything and if it wasn’t for me arranging things, we’d do nothing but at least he recognises that and mostly is happy to comply. Your grandchildren must be a joy to you and you are a good mother and grandmother. Your problems aren’t trivial and are just as important as everyone else’s. I hope the weather has got better for you too so that at least you can get out and walk. I love going on my little walk with my dog every evening, even on the dark nights.
Scaredycat hope you’re still enjoying your holiday and the weather is being kind.
Hymnbook I’m sorry you are not well and I hope the tests you are having prove to be ok and you get some treatment to make you well again. A lot to these tests are merely done to rule out things and it won’t be anything to worry about but I realise it’s an anxious time waiting for results. I’m sorry for your family problems too and like others have said, it does upset us and make us worry.

Wyllow special thoughts ❤️

I hope everyone is having a good day.

I’ve tried asking them round but they are so busy and because they don’t live near it takes a big chunk out of their day. I’m in a few groups. I keep busy. I just never want to go home .

Hi all.
Just checking in to say hello and hoping today has brought you some brighter moments . I,ve got my feet up now as I,m really tired- serves me right for trying to do what I used to do.
Doodle, HVDY, SweetPeaSue, Nadateturbe, EllieAnne, Whiff, Candy, Wyllow, Nanny, Hymnbook, have a restful evening and nightxxxx Sorry if I,ve forgotten anyonex

Candy6 You must have needed the rest. You always seem to be so busy, what with work and swimming, as well as everything else you do. Nice to get away for a break. Matlock Bath and Matlock are next to each other. It may have been Matlock Bath where the illuminations are - I don't really know the difference between the 2 places. I had the layers put in again and had it thinned out (it gets really thick at the back). I wouldn't keep going to a hairdresser I wasn't happy with. It took me years to find one who cuts and dries it the way I like. I don't like mousse, hairspray, tongs, or straighteners, and he does it just how I like.

EllieAnne It's so sad that you don't like being in your own home. I don't know what the answer is.

Hope ALL BDers have had a decent day. Son2 called in on his way home from work, so I did dinner - seabass, roasted new potatoes, oven-roasted Meditteranean veg. DH had pie and chips . Son's just left, to go grocery shopping. Hope everyone has a relaxing evening x

HVDY the floods in Scotland look awful. We’ve been lucky with another warm day here.
Yup that’s exactly where my weight is too, that and my hips. I really must lose weight. I can feel that it’s affecting my breathing. I have found my copy of the Fast 800 and intend to start tomorrow (always another day 🤣🤣) but I really must this time. How lovely that your DGDs get on well with their dads GF and family and how nice they will have a room to stay in. That must make them feel welcome.
Bet you can’t wait for Friday. Always useful to have a few baby bits at the house for when they come over. We always had a high chair and changing mat and ended up with a cupboard full of toys.
Hymbook I’m sorry about your son and DGC. I Hope somehow you can all be reconciled and spend time together. Do you get on well with your sisters usually? Must be nice to have them close by.
Candy what a lovely weekend you must have had walking and eating out. You do sound tired. I don’t have anything like the energy I used to. Today I feel as though I can hardly put one foot in front of the other.
Yes arm is fine now thanks. I’ve got another Covid jab to com soon, DH has already had his.
Yes I’m over sensitive too. I will go over and over things in my mind blowing them out of all proportion. Then even more and more worrying scenarios occur, I think I’m my own worst enemy.
Ellie Anne I can’t remember the last time I had family round for a meal. They live very close but I’m aware they have very busy lives and weekends are usually taken up gardening or housework or meeting up with their friends. It’s how life is for a lot of people.
Scaredycat hope the holiday is going well. Thanks for keeping in touch.
Sweetpeasue and Wyllow hope you’ve both had a better day. x

Candy Glad you enjoyed your caravan weekend. Although I help with the garden its my DH that does the physical stuff. I plant containers and deadhead, tiny bit of weeding and thats it. Your days are so full itsno wonder you need a rest at times. Hope you're not wearing yourself out. Your naps are well deserved.
EllieAnne Your situation is intolerable. I think, in your shoes I would feel even worse if your DH seemed content with it. You are doing your best by being busy and seeing friends. I'm so sorry.
*Scaredycat Glad your having a good holiday. Only natural you will want to make the most of it. Hope you recover and have a nice day tomorrow.
HVDY Do you know Ive never tasted sea bass though I think I would like it as its a white fish. Sounds a delicious meal and healthy. Glad you're happy with your haircut.
Doodle I'm afraid to get on our scales as I know Ive put weight on. Its so easy to gain and its miserable having to deprive yourself too lose. Of course I'll post some photos when the tubs are in flower - - it seems such a long time until Spring yet the months fly by.
Hymnbook Its good you live near your sisters and can talk to them. You must get so sad about the estrangement situation and I hope it can be resolved in time. Hoping you're not feeling too unwell today.
Wyllow Dont know if you can get out for groceries or get them delivered but hoping you are trying to eat. Even if it's little portions. Sending love.

I've had the bowel pain back again. Started yesterday and not left. So scared its all coming back as I really couldnt bear it, plus worried it could be the bowel adhesion grown back. I'll never know what was there when I had Laparoscopy. I'm so disappointed - no change in diet. Its getting stronger with nausea so will have to take painkillers. I'm so fed up with it. Sorry to be negative0

Posted too soon.
Nadateturbe Hope you are ok today.
Hoping all have a peaceful night x

Night night BD's, best nights possible.

Sweetpeasue hello, I'm OK, thank you, think antibiotics have worked. I've been exhausted, both of us were ill, then son visited, and energy has not really picked up since. I have a very limited amount to use each day and reading and answering is using too much. And leaves too little for other things. Ive missed most art classes and am doing very little else. But that's OK. So I have been reading and just remembering everyone in my prayers. It's hard for others to understand.
I'm so sorry you're still in such pain. I feel so bad for you. I just keep hoping that someone will come up with something that really helps.xx

Thinking of everyone always.xx
Sending love to Wyllow3.

Nadateturbe Thankyou, your post has encouraged me to try and stay strong. The ME/CFS affects your quality of life so much and it's really kind of you to think and pray for others. I try to pray but I find doubt creeps in-yet I don't stop trying. I hope God will overlook my weakness.
Hoping you will get to your art class soon. X

Doodle We used to have a lot of baby/toddler things here, when Son1's girls used to come (they didn't ever stay until he move in with us a few years ago). We took the stuff to charity shops, not ever thinking Son2 would ever have a baby (he said from the age of 18 he never wanted children but changed his mind only 15 months ago). I'm another over-thinker. Every conversation, with everyone. Every scenario. It's draining, isn't it?

SweetpeaSue I hope your pain has eased off. I bet you don't know what to take for the best.

It's been raining, non-stop, since about 10.30 this morning. DH is going out for a couple of hours with both sons, so I'll have the house to myself for a while . Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening x

Sweetpeasue I too have doubts at times. But I would find it hard not to believe in God. Especially as there are times I believe he has definitely intervened. It's very difficult to stay strong and positive with the pain you suffer. I myself don't understand suffering. I'm sure most people feel the same. I trust I will get an explanation one day.
And thank you, but you encourage me very much, with how you keep going. As does everyone on BD.
I don't have a very interesting life because of M.E. and see few people rarely, people give up on you, they don't understand, but I've learnt it's better to be content, acceptance really helps, most of the time.
I hope your day has been OK. Stay strong and never stop hoping. x

Been to my last physio today. My hand has improved considerably so I’ve been discharged which is good.
Sweetpeasue today is the first (real) day of my diet. I have counted my calories and I’m on 800 including wine etc so we will see. If that’s not enough then I will have to cut out more.
I’d love to see a picture of your tubs when they flower. I could consider some on my balcony but the wind whistles round there with great force. They would probably fall over.
Really sorry the bowel pain has come back. Don’t give up hope as it has been better recently, hasn’t it.? Hope the pain killers help and tomorrow is a better day.
Of course God forgives your weakness. He’s there for us all sometimes more when we have doubts. Everyone has doubts. Even Mother Theresa. So don’t feel bad. We just keep hoping.
nadateturbe we really appreciate your using some of your energy to write here. I know what you mean. Sometimes it’s all too much. You do sound exhausted but I expect with your son coming and you both being so ill it’s not surprising your energy levels are low. Glad you are resting and reading and I hope you pick up some energy soon. Do you use the online library?
HVDY I find it hard to part with the toys I had when my grandchildren were young. They all have such precious memories. I look at the Lego box which still has a car my DGS made years ago. The soldiers he used to play with. The big craft box still holds little pipe cleaner figures my DGDs made. Basically I’m just a big kid. 🤣
How lovely your son now has his own little one. Just goes to show you never know what’s round the corner. Such a lovely surprise.
Not had any rain here today yet but lots due Friday. They say snow in Scotland too. 😱
Scaredycat are you home yet or still enjoying your trip?
Wyllow sending hugs and best wishes.xx

HVDY I hope you enjoyed your time alone. Its always nice to get the house to yourself.

Doodle thank you. Glad your hand is improving so much. It's taken a while.
I usually download books to my kindle so I can read lying down. I really must try to use online library, I buy a lot of books, and should support library service.
Hope you manage to lose weight. I lost a stone by just cutting portions of carbs, and sugar. Plain fish, chicken, veg most nights. I didn't count carbs. Just limit rubbish food and be patient and walk when you can.

HVDY No rain here today though quite cool 12 deg, after warmth yesterday. Its sort of sad getting rid of toys from GC when they were younger. So many memories. GN I think GS was secretly pleased we kept some of them for a while. Even the toddler stuff-hed laugh at it but I think it sort of reminded him how much he's loved. About the painkillers, yes its a minefield when bowel pain starts trying to balance it.
Nadateturbe I feel bad about the times I'm 'on the fence' about belief. Think it's because I was an absolute believer and was fully baptised into Pentecostal church in my late 20s. Things happened that shook it. I know I must be honest about my failings as I won't be fooling anyone (or Him iyswim) I still pray and thank. I think I understand a little when you say people don't understand about your M.E. It's probably the unpredictability of how the condition can change. With myself I can look perfectly fine but have pain or be completely incapacitated. I think I could accept better if there was a reason for it. You must look after yourself as you understand your illness better than anyone.
Doodle I'm glad your wrist is improved and you dont need the physio appts. The Calendar can get pretty full of med appts can't it. Hope you have more mobility in your wrist now. You're off to a good start with your diet today-800 cals should certainly see a difference in the scale readings soon. I have a sweet tooth which has been my biggest weakness. Regarding tub planters the wind would be a problem. Get strong northerly winds here that can blow quite large ones over. Its been all bladder pain for mths then a few days ago the old 'frozen' bowel came back with the pain. Have both today so book group was out but up during night with bladder emptying causing pain. I wanted to talk to MH nurse or somebody but no counselling appears to be happening here so only feel can call in crisis situation.
News is terrible and it weighs on us and I do pray about it. Feels unbearable to think of children separated from parents.
Hope your DH is doing ok and sleeping lately.
Wyllow Sending you a hug and hoping you're ok and coping.

Thinking of all BDs and wishing everyone a restful night.

Doodle 800 cals a day is to low. Your need a minimum of 1,000 day if you want to lose weight . I lost 7 st on 1200 per day. If you don't take in enough calories to let your main organs work your body will hold on to your stored fat cells and won't lose weight . Your body with think it's starving . You put your internal organs at risk if you don't eat enough calories per day. Have a read of the pears thread on diet and exercise forum for ideas on a healthy diet .

If you are at the right weight for your height you need 2,000 a day to make your body work effectively.

I didn't read any more than you are eating 800 cals . Like I said it's to low and risk damaging your body . I should know it took me decades to realise that. I was over 19st for decades size 32. Starting losing the weight in 2017 if I only lost quarter of pound a week I was happy. Losing weight is a marathon not a sprint. Took me decades to realise that. I want to get to 11st if it takes me another 2 years so be it. I am now size 16 just over 12st. It's not easy but never give up. If you have a bad day and over eat remember each day is a new start . But you must eat more than 800 cals per day.

Sorry Doodle it's Sweetpeasue who said they where only having 800 cals. I got muggled because it was under your name but you where quoting Sweetpeasue.

Hell think I am muggled again and it is you Doodle. Having brain fog issues today.🤷