Black Dog 18

Bad pain this morning texted son to say would try pick up GS if eased off. Always worry about letting people down as so unexpected. I drove just 10mins later on to mearny villsge and knee was terrible.Husband drove back but hes really not well. In the end asked son to pick him up and drop him off here for couple of hrs as neither of us could walk to school and back. Just taken him back and we're both shattered and feeling so low. Urge t referral for Rheumatologist means 2 weeks but strikes could affect that. We're just so debilitated and depressed.
HVDY Hope your stomach has settled down. Really horrible for you.

Hoping you have all had a better day. X

nearby village*

Sorry I’ve missed something somewhere. Whose sons were with their father before he died? Don’t remember Sweetpeasue saying that. Sorry I get a bit confused at times.
Not a long post for me tonight. I didn’t sleep at all last night. Had sore throat and sniffles not felt much better today. Feel heavy headed so early night I think.
nadatrturbe I’m afraid I love my wine and would miss it if I didn’t have a glass every night. I find it relaxing. I find the same. I get excited when somethings delivered and I can’t remember what it is. Last time it was really exciting……a jam jar opener 🤣 The problem you’re having is that both you and your DH aren’t feeling the best., it’s easier to look after someone if one of you is feeling ok. Today it’s been DHs turn to look after me. How is your DH today?
Sweetpeasue that inner voice is just your depression and pain getting you down. None of us would be able to cope better with all you’ve been through so don’t be so hard on yourself.
HVDY how was your SIL? Ah yes the missing clothes and shoes. Exactly the same at the home my dear brother was in. My SIL was furious because she always bought him nice clothes and he looked smart. His things kept going missing even with name tags in them.
Sorry to hear your sons skin is so bad. Has he seen a dermatologist?
Candy it’s nice your son phones you so often. I speak to one of mine about once a month and he only lives a few miles away. He has a busy life though so I don’t mind.
Hope your son had a good birthday. Funny enough my mum used to leave the landing light on for me too. I was scared as a child as I was upstairs on my own and they were all one floor down with the TV on. Since moving into our flat I feel much safer and happier. We have some sensor night lights that come on at floor level when we get out of bed. Helps us to see where we’re going and saves putting the main light on.
Sweetpeasue urgent is usually around 2 weeks. Hope the strike won’t put it back, glad you were able to have your DGS with you for a bit even if you couldn’t pick him up.
Hope your knee doesn’t cause you a problem at night.
Wyllow of course we think of you. We miss you. Take care x
Scaredycat Ellie Anne how are you both?

Doodle
Quote from Sweetpeasue. 20.45 yesterday.
"My sons father was hardly in touch and died just over a yr ago. Opened up so much for myself and them. They decided to be with him before he died and much peace was restored to troubled hearts."
J had been talking about my first husband not keeping in touch with our children.

Nadateturbe Yes of course you're right. We know nothing of each others circumstances in the past though I felt a similarity in how the past can stir up feelings - in this case my past ex-husband, sons'father, which I cant say more about. Hoping you're feeling a bit stronger today and your husband is now ok.

Doodle You could be a bit run down - hope you're not coming down with something. An early night sounds a good thing. X

Doodle Good evening. Sorry I’m catching up on a few of your posts.
I too, thank God, but I always have some request. I don’t think He minds. I think having so many health issues to cope with could make you a bit pessimistic, very understandable.
It’s difficult to stop worrying, and learning how to let go, or at least put it to the back of your mind.. I don't think we ever conquer it completely. You might find a meditation that would help. Sometimes things like putting a time limit on the worry works. Just ideas. Everyone is different in what works for them. I hope you manage to lessen your anxiety in some way. Just reread your post, you’ve had some good news, I hope that has made you feel better.
I get what your saying, Doctors don’t automatically know if people will have reactions, but I have had reactions to several and it’s not noted on my file, and I was given something which I shouldn’t have been given once, because of high eye pressure..
How lovely, knitting vegetables for harvest,(can’t believe it’s that time of year!) what a nice idea. Perhaps you will let us see them.
I too really enjoy my glass of wine. If I could I would drink more. For a while I couldn’t tolerate it at all, and I got used to it. But I always liked wine with my dinner. We have little enough pleasures in life as we get older!
Your last post, it sounds like you might be coming down with something, or as Sweetpeasue says, run down. Take care and have an early night. xx

Husband is still very tired sleeping a lot and not happy looking, and I’m exhausted. His BP is very high, and GP rang late today and is leaving out new medication and he has to go back in 2 weeks. Our practice is super busy, but very caring staff.

Nadateturbe Just seen your DH is still not well at all. Its such a bad time when both of you feel unwell and you worry about each other. Like climbing a mountain and never reaching the top. Glad he's being looked after by your surgery.

Good evening Candy It’s lovely that your son rings every day, he must know you miss him being close. He lives quite a long distance away. But at least you have your daughter near. And yes, it’s the little ordinary everyday things you miss. Does your grandson keep in touch? I think that is so important, to keep that bond. I hardly know mine. I have one son in Northern Ireland, but he doesn’t keep in touch often. I think when parents split up it’s not quite the same. But I do my best.
I too had the landing light on, and most nights crept into the bottom of my parents bed because I was scared. Until one night they must have decided I was too old to do it any more. But like you I still need light, and find it comforting. I read recently that if you are depressed apparently sleeping with a light on is a good idea (?).

CandyNadateturbe Interesting about the landing light being on as my mum always allowed this with myself and 2 sisters. Perhaps it was fairly normal with our generations. I remember waking up during night, though, after parents went to bed, and it was suddenly dark. That seemed v scary. I like just a chint of light to come through but I can still let my imagination run riot at night, I really have to stop myself.

SweetpeaSue My stomach has settled down now, thanks. It's no wonder you're feeling so low - you and your husband have one thing after another. I hope his appointment comes through soon. Nice that you spent some time with your GS, though.

Doodle My SIL was fairly lucid today, although of course, that won't last. The home found her shoes (in someone else's room) but not the reading glasses. The home has got someone with Covid, so visitors are asked to wear a mask. It was boiling hot in there, and I pointed out to the (gormless) Manager that some windows should be opened, as fresh air needs to be circulating, particularly with Covid. The main door was wide open by the time I left . Son2 has seen Dermatologists, the last time being 4 years ago. They prescribed strong Hydrocortisone, despite him being allergic to that. I've bought different creams for him to try, but he won't - he never had such awful skin when I was looking after him, but he's 39 now. Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. It sounds as though you're coming down with something. Hope a good night's sleep will help.

nadateturbe Up until almost a year ago, I always slept with the curtains half opened. Then when Mr Cooper died, I closed them, and have had them shut at night since. I quite like the dark now.

How have all BDers been today?

Thanks nadatetube I missed that completely. Sorry Sweetpeasue I didn’t realise your DH wasn’t your sons father. Must have been a hard time for you and them.
As you can see the early night didn’t materialise. I am definitely going down with something. Just had some hot soup.
nadatetube Yes the good news has made all the difference. It’s my family I always worry about. If there’s a problem it always get to me. Things are better now though thanks.
Yes I will show you my pumpkin if I finish it.
Not good your DHs BP is so high. Is he on a low salt diet? Hope the new meds help.
Funny how so many of us were scared of the dark when children. My mum used to have to sit on the stairs while I went to sleep and every so often I would call out and ask if she was still there. Must have driven her mad but she did it every night.
HVDY glad you’re feeling a bit better. Goodness you would think the care home would realise they need ventilation if they have Covid. Well done for sorting them out. Hope you soon skin is better soon. So uncomfortable.

Good evening HVDY, sorry you’re still having pain, it will probably take a few days to settle. Keep drinking plenty of water. You did well learning to swim in a week. I would love to be able to. Your son’s eczema sounds awful. And I know how difficult it is to treat, my best friend had it all her life, and was allergic to dairy products. Poor guy. It’s hard watching your children suffering too, when you can’t do anything.
I wonder will your foxy friend come tonight. Is this the first night he’s missed?

HVDY Just saw your last post. honestly, that home is very badly run. I'm glad you got them to open the windows and door. It sounds like it was needed.
Strange your son being prescribed a cream that you're allergic too. I wonder is he under stress.

Good evening Sweetpeasue sorry you both felt so ill today. You can't help it if you have to break arrangements. Your son knows you aren't well and I think under the circumstances you do your best. .
As you say It's difficult when both partners are not well, but we're not in pain like you are. You're both suffering so much. I do hope you get some respite soon. Giving you a big hug.
Yes the past is best left where it belongs. If possible. I hope tomorrow is better for you both.x

Doodle You made me laugh with your bedtime routine.
Wyllow3 thinking of you as always.
Thinking of everyone else on BD. Prayers for a peaceful night xx

Read and thinking of you all today xx BD's.

I tried to copy a link but don't know how. I really want to be understood. It's a pro publica publication. When Harm in the Hospital Follows You Home. Everything that I feel is there.

I was scared of the dark too. My mum left the hall light on till she went to bed. If I woke after that I cried till I got in beside her. My dad got angry and called me a big baby. I couldn’t have been very old.
My cold is almost gone. I did a Covid test but it was negative.
I can lose track of people’s stories on this thread. Sometimes have to look back to remind myself. I wish he would go to bed.I want my glass of wine and catch up on emmerdale and Corrie. I’m easily pleased,

Wyllow Glad you are still here and reading. We care. Wish I could do more. I would if I could. Large hug. Xx

Goodnight EllieAnne enjoy your "me time".🙂

Doodle Your mum sounds like a very loving mother. Mine was, too. I still miss her, after 28 years. Hope you managed a decent night's sleep.

nadateturbe Sons's Eczema is really very bad indeed. It does get worse when he's feeling under stress. It's the dustmite allergy that's the worst - and it's virtually impossible to get rid of all dust. We had laminate flooring, leather settees and not many pitures/ornaments when he lived at home.

EllieAnne Hope you enjoyed some wine last night.

SweetpeaSue Hope today is better for you both.

It's a grey morning here. DH and I are going to DIL's and taking her (and baby) out for lunch. Son2 will probably be working. SIL is having a home visit, to her own house, with Occupational Therapist today - a pointless exercise, seeing as she can only walk about 8ft (that's with a frame and one carer) and cannot manage to go up or down 2 steps. Apparently, the care home "won't release" her until this assessment has been done. If it were me, I'd get her in my car and take her to a better residential home.

Hope ALL BDers have a decent day x

nadateturbe The fox (or foxes) came last night (early this morning), so I'm glad he/she is ok.

Just got in from seeing DIL and baby. Had a lovely pub lunch - piping hot at that place - and dessert. DIL is moving in with Son2 just after Christmas, apparently. Lots of things to be done and arranged before then. Hope all BDers are ok today x

SweetPeaSue- glad your DH has an urgent referral- hope it comes within the 2 weeks.
At least you got to see your GS for a while- I feel so sorry how debilitated you both feel.
Please don’t knock yourself so much you are dealing as well as anyone could considering how you feel.
Sending a caring hugxx
Doodle- sorry you didn’t get your early night- hope the soup helped you settle.it does sound like you are sickening for something or you are just plain exhausted.
I,m glad you enjoy your wine- have one for me too!!
We have those sensor lights too- they are really good are t they.
It would be so nice to see your knitted veggies when they are finished - they sound so cute.
The good news you received must have been so welcome and lifted your spirits. We will never,ever stop worrying about those we love.
Hope you sleep well tonight.
Nadateturbe- I do hope your DH improves soon and that in the meantime you can rest regularly.I,m glad your surgery see after you well.
My DH has been to,the Drs this morning and got a prescription that hopefully will help him. She will also,arrange an ultrasound but we,re not holding our breath as to when!
Speaking of little pleasures as we get older. I thought of you today as I found Giant Choc buttons in M and S and also orange flavoured ones😋
Candy- I,m glad your daughter lives close by as your son like mine is far away. My daughter also lives very close and I feel very fortunate that she does. My step children are far away too except one - I would love it if we all lived close together.
It’s lovely that your son phones you so regularly- he understands you very well I think.
HVDY- your SiL s home is something else - poor people they have enough to deal with being there let alone the incompetence of those that run it. Well done with the ventilation issue. I agree with you she needs to live in a better place if possible.
Your poor Son has really suffered with his eczema.
When you mentioned Mr Cooper I felt sad- you must still miss him.
Hope you enjoy your lunch with DiL and baby.
EllieAnne- glad your cold is nearly gone also that it wasn’t Covid. My DD is till testing positive.
Hope you got your wine in the end and enjoyed your soaps- I can just imagine how irritated you must have felt.
Wyllow- always happy to see a post from you and know you are still here and with us. Hope you are managing to eat and keep your physical strength up.
Love to allx

Doodle Glad you had god news. We worry about our families, don't we? We never stop being mothers, no matter how grown-up our children are. How are you feeling today? How's your husband?

ScaredyCat The home where SIL is were meant to have being doing a home assessment - my brother had been dreading it. They didn't turn up! The place is very poorly run (I could do a better job and probably have more care experience). Yes, I miss Mr Cooper. I don't think we'll have another cat unless one happens to turn up, that's how we ended up with him. We had him for 11 1/2 years. Sorry if I've missed something, but what's your husband's ultrasound for? I hope the new prescription will help him.

It gets dark early now - I quite like it, as it's an excuse for me to get my pyjamas and dressing gown on and get cosy . Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening x