Black Dog 11

Particularly like not part like (I pressed post before proof reading

Hi All, catch up day today.

Doodle not sad about the monkey puzzle, I hated it and was happy it was in a pot and could be taken away. Wouldn't be surprised if they sell it, saw a smaller one in a garden centre for £750!

Annie good news about the doors and you have time to mentally prepare for going in the garden and then .....................................................................

Nanny sounds like you are making positive steps towards getting better. Good luck.

Joce hope little chap is well now.

Namsnanny peace and goodwill to you too.

That's the end of thread 10, now to look at 11

*NotTooOld, that is sad, lots of lights here and one road looks competitive.

MandyMoo sorry to read that, I know others are in the same situation, its like a bereavement.

Annie sorry to hear about MT's test result, what a blow to you all.

Shandy what a lot to cope with! So much stress. I wish you strength to deal with it all and care for the pets as well.

I have read all your posts but too many to answer every one.

I am happy for those with pets to love and for all those who spent time with loved ones.

I am exhausted! Good Exhausted though. Family made it (three different tests and lots of form filling) and surprised us by arriving on Christmas Eve when we were expecting them on Christmas Day! I was in the middle of cooking a casserole and had decided to make a big one and freeze some of it, so there was plenty to go round.

GS had assumed his cousins would also be here and was disappointed but got over it.

I didn't grieve for our dead son this year, I felt him watching over us and smiling, he would have loved it all.

We emerged from utter chaos when they left yesterday morning and I spent much of the day slobbing while being grateful that the planned visit to London had been called off due to a cancellation. I read today that London has more Covid cases than anywhere else in the world.

Our volunteering has been cancelled for next week due to Covid so I will take lots of time to clear up and enjoy having the time to do it properly.

Wishing you all peace and love for the rest of the year.

Hi all x

Nonnie so happy for you, your Christmas was so joyful x

I feel down today, it will pass.

How is everyone?

Annie I hope my good fortune didn't make you feel worse. So sorry if it did.

When I think of my situation years back, 6 weeks in hospital and that followed some years later by the sudden death of my son, I just want to shout that I survived and can still enjoy life at times. Every day I give thanks to the Lord for all my blessings despite my childhood, my illnesses and the ongoing hate from my stalker. I pray for that person because they must be so unhappy with their constant looking for trouble and finding it where there is none, such a sad life and clearly mentally unwell. I have a very loving family and wonderful support from so many friends, I cope and I still sometimes have fun. I pray that others (especially the BDG) can find such happiness at times too.

No Nonnie it was so good to read a positive post.

I had a wonderful childhood, so much love.

Nonnie so glad your family made it for Christmas.
Nice to think your son was watching over all the family.
I expect you were quite busy so take advantage of the cancelled volunteering and have a bit of time to yourself.
Never apologise for being happy. You have had more than your share of troubles and we must all make the most of any happiness that comes our way.
Annie sorry you feel a bit down. It’s that sort of time of year really. Do you have a date for your doors yet?
I hope it gets done soon. I’d love to see you in your garden planning your planting soon.
Take care all and a peaceful nights sleep.

annie I do hope you are feeling better now xx I will tell them everything I promise. Apparently the worrying thing I feel ( by the dr not me) is that I couldn't care if someone killed me. I will not kill myself as I fear disappointing myself if I fail and then the disappointment of my children and GDs if I fail....im sorry if I upset anyone it really isn't my plan xxx

On a lighter note. I hope everyone has a 2022 full of joy and wonder...and cats ha ha much love to a brighter year ahead xx

Hi all x

nanny please don’t apologise, it’s how you feel. You must tell
the NH nurse your thoughts on suicide, don’t hold anything back please, I worked on a help line for years, I assure you there is nothing you can say the MH nurse hasn’t heard. It’s so
important that you tell all so you can get the help you need.

Depression puts us in a dark place but we can move from it into light, hold onto this please.
Post when ever you wish /need x

Doodle yes it’s that time of year, January is a dreary month ,
SAD sufferers struggle through it x

How is everyone?

My beautiful binks coming for his morning cuddle

Binks is beautiful nanny have lots of cuddles x

Nanny yes please do tell them exactly how you feel.. Sorry you feel so low in yourself.
Binks is lovely. I can remember when you fist found him and were trying so hard to get him to allow you to touch him . Please take care and I hope 2022 brings you some happier times.
Annie can’t believe we’re coming to the end of another year.
I always feel like it’s a fresh start when we get to New Years Day.
Hopes for a better year for all.
You’re right January is a strange month. Dark, wet and cold usually and too far from spring to be of much fun.
We will stay up and watch the New Year in. My brother died on New Year's Day four years ago. In many ways it was a good thing as he had dementia. Somehow the fact that he made it to the New Year made us glad because the doctors all said he wouldn’t last till Christmas. My nephew said to them, you don’t know my Dad and true to form he hung on to see the new year in.
Have a good day all.

nanny I remember that feeling, Consultant told me that if I won the lottery I would still feel nothing. You are ill, take all the help you can get and eventually you will start to feel things again, both good and bad. I am here to tell you that things can and will improve if you take your time and the help. I survived, you can too. Meanwhile talk to the cats.

Just been shopping and not interested in any of the sales (apart from one where I bought a sweater) I think I must be all shopped out! Tried to buy a birthday card for DiL and they were all awful, some looked like duty cards and the only nice one said she was the best DiL in the world. I have another! Think I will go back next week and buy a daughter one and explain to her.

Decided to go and change into a dress! Yes, a dress! DS & DiL have invited us round for a late lunch and have offered to pick us up and bring us home so we can both have a drink. DiL doesn't drink. I have the best family.

Hi all x Just wishing you a happy and healthy new year, hoping the Black Dog won’t visit us often. Cheers! xx

Nonnie good and encouraging post. Yes things can get better but so often it’s hard to see the light.
Nice to have the opportunity to dress up a bit. Hope you have a lovely time with your DS and DIL.
Bluesky I wish the same greeting to you. Let’s hope it’s a better year for all. Take care x

Hello everyone.
Just caught up with all your posts and read all your Christmas news. Glad for those who had lovely family times and wishing better times ahead for those who felt lonely or down.
I,m feeling a bit low at the moment and will be glad when New Year is over. It always makes me feel sad . This relentless grey weather is so gloomy - I don’t think we,ve seen the sun for about 2 weeks.
Sorry to be moany I shouldn’t be as I have so much to be thankful for. Will try to start tomorrow with a more positive outlook .
To all you lovely ladies in BDG I wish you a peaceful and happier year and thank you so much for your company this last one.xxx

I will raise a glass tonight , You will all be in my thoughts tonight.
Wishing you all the BDG a very Happier Healthy New Year .?..xx

nonnie how lovely. I hope you have a wonderful time xxx thank you all for such lovely words xx

Just popping in to wish all the gang a Happy New Year.
Let’s hope it’s a year with less worry and anxiety and more peace of mind and happiness.
Thank you for all your caring support
Love and cwtches to everyone x

Happy New Year everyone. Thankyou all for your support. X

Hi all and Happy New Year x

I have taken it upon myself to make a rule for Black Dog, I have no rights to but going to do it anyway .

No apologising for saying how we feel, we wouldn’t apologise for saying we had broken a leg, no difference if we are depressed, have anxiety, lost confidence, have OCD.

Positives are good and give hope, but sharing troubles is good to, we are sharing and I think this is important.

Who has made new year resolutions?

How is everyone?

My wish for 2022 is that all give and get kindness.

Annie is right, everyone should share whatever they want to. We all need support at times and at other times encouragement - showing there can be light at the end of that long tunnel.

I had a really bad night last night, far too many totally unreasonable whatifs, couldn't shift it. I do envy those who can control their thoughts. I will get over it but today is going to be another Saturday slob. I am, however, aware and grateful that things have been far worse for me and that I am very fortunate to have such a loving family, if not close physically, close emotionally.

Annie that’s a good set of rules and so right for this thread.
Happy New Year to you and all the BDG those past and present.

New Year Resolutions - Physically, the usual one for me diet but this year is going to be serious. Over the course of lockdown I have put on a lot of weight and I find now that affects my breathing. My knees are worse too. So my resolution is no crash diets just more sensible and controlled eating (which will be hard for me as I love food) and gradually increasing exercise.
Mental resolution to try and stop my imagination from running away with itself and always imagining the worst,
Also to try harder to focus on all the lovely things that have been in my life rather then the sad or upsetting things.

How about you Annie

rafichagran thank you too and Hope the New Year is a good one for you .

Hello all.
Annie- Happy New Year. Good new rule- you are always so wise.
No resolutions just going to try to see positives instead of negatives. Started this morning went out for a walk despite being in AF and it stopped!! Then the sun came out for the first time in over 2 weeks! Lovely.
Nonnie- sorry you had a night of whatifferies they are so hard to shut up aren’t they. Hope you have a better night and enjoy your slob day. Glad you have such a lovely family.
Spoke to my son on FT this morning - I haven’t seen him physically for 2 years but just to talk with him over the miles made me feel better.
Doodle- Good resolutions. Yes losing a bit of weight will help your knees which in turn will help your walking easier. Slow and steady will be much better than a crash diet.
When you,ve controlled your imagination let me know how please- I catastrophise at the drop of a hat!!!
Rafichagran,Joce Nanna and all wishing you a happy first day of this New Yearxx