Myoclonic jerks

everything I have done, letters, birthday cards, Christmas presents both for her and her son have met with a wall of silence
I know a man who was estranged from his son for some years in the same way but they are now back together. Never give up, it will happen one day. Just stay open to it, don't give up writing, and make sure you sound loving and welcoming. You could also add 'if there's anything I can ever do for you just let me know'. If you do meet don't have a scowl, meet with a smile. These things are all important in making her feel you are a good person who does not hold grudges. Nothing would be more offputting than a grump.

In a more general way I read that these myoclonic jerks can be brought on by PTSD, which is interesting and possibly relevant to myself and the others on this thread who suffer from them.

My son has met up with his sister, both he and his other sister are all good friends. He has encouraged me to write, but everything I have done, letters, birthday cards, Christmas presents both for her and her son have met with a wall of silence. My son has really had enough with the situation now and has his own family to think about.

Thank you for all your replies and good wishes. I think I just have to carry this burden of grief for the rest of my life and to try to put a good face on things.

As this must be neurological I wonder if it is akin to epilepsy?
I had an epileptic dog who had massive myoclonic jerks. He once turned a complete somersault between cluster fits.

Chestnut Wed 30-Oct-19 10:36:24 Oh I wish it were that easy! It really isn't, there is absolutely nothing I can do to reduce the stress, it is not in my power or I would have done it.

Yes, I share a bed but don't sleep when DH is not there, he is definitely not my problem.

Thanks for trying to help

Why so? If he is in contact with his sister then he is in the ideal position to act as mediator between the two
Mediation between two parties can only be done when both are happy with the choice of mediator and the mediator has no personal interest in the situation.
You have no idea of the family dynamics or what has gone before between these siblings. His sister may well resent what she sees as interference.
Even if Sallys son has a warm relationship with his sister, it is still a heavy burden if responsibility to place on him.

Nonnie as I said in a previous post I think you have to be honest with yourself about what might be causing you to bottle up your stress or anxiety. If there is someone in your life who is making you feel anxious then face up to it. You also need to feel relaxed about going to bed, not anxious. If you share a bed then maybe switch to separate beds which will make you feel more relaxed. Double beds are well known to cause sleeping problems. Worrying about the jerks will stop you crossing the line into sleep, so you may also need some kind of sleeping pill to push you across that line.

M0nica Thu 24-Oct-19 19:09:59 thank you, you saved me saying it. Anyone not understanding those posts must be doing it just to be difficult or not very bright. Don't know why anyone would come on this thread unless they wanted to help.

As a fellow sufferer I had simply accepted it but now we have been told it is caused by stress it makes sense to me. It even happens in the evening when I'm lolling watching TV.

I doubt it is sleep apnoea (sp?) if it happens before we go to sleep, as in my case. Is there anything to be done about it?

Why so? If he is in contact with his sister then he is in the ideal position to act as mediator between the two. If his sister is estranged from him as well then of course he couldn't do that. But either way the family should try and get back together and heal the rift. A handwritten letter in the post is always a start if there is no other way.

I think that following Chestnut’s advice to involve your son in resolving your estrangement with your daughter would put him in an extremely difficult situation, Sally. Just my opinion of course.

I am so sorry to hear about your estranged daughter and grandson. Is there any way you can heal the rift through your son? If you are sincere about renewing contact then ask him to send your love and say you will always be there for her, that you are deeply sorry for any misunderstandings, or whatever words are appropriate. Or better still, ask him to pass on a handwritten letter saying those things. That way you are opening the door for her to get back to you. Ask your son to monitor the situation for you. I really think you should try and get back with her, life is too short.

Thanks everyone. I think they may be stress related as they started when I became (suddenly) estranged with my daughter five years ago, which resulted in my never seeing my newborn grandson. This led to a deterioration in my overall health, to the extent I felt suicidal - only the thought of my adult son got me through. He is lovely. Not sure what I can do. I also suffer from nightmares. I don’t think counselling would help, though my one year old granddaughter (my son’s baby) helps as she brings so much joy. I constantly grieve for my estranged daughter and would so love to see my grandson. Thanks for listening.

DH had them quite severely before his (severe) sleep apnea was diagnosed and treated. I had not realised that until I read the article Joelsnan recommended. I just thought he was drifting asleep into nightmares

A very interesting article, Joelsnan. Thanks for that.

I just remembered something. On a bad night I would have one really bad 'shock' (maybe two) then a lesser one and then once the 'stress' had been ejected from me I could feel my body relaxing and slipping into sleep.

I rectified my mistake before you commented on it. It was a typing error, not a conscious shortening.

chestnut
You don't have to be fully asleep for the relaxation effect in the period before actual sleep to affect your throat.

sleepeducation.org/news/2013/08/22/sleep-starts

Just to clarify, the OP said they jerk her awake when she's just falling asleep, which is exactly what happens to me but mine were so severe they felt like an electric shock. Very frightening sometimes. I struggled to understand why this was happening but definitely linked them to stress/anxiety even though I wasn't aware I was really stressed or anxious. My body was throwing out the stress at the point of entering sleep, when the body relaxes and 'lets go'. I started to listen to my body, and realised they were much worse on days which had been more stressful.

I can only tell you what my experience was, I'm not saying it's going to be the same for everyone. Possibly drugs may affect some people. I don't think they are linked with snoring because they come before you have fallen fully asleep.

M0nica
I was referring to the second paragraph of Chestnut 's first post, although admittedly I omitted her moniker.

My name isn't Gabriel.

Gabriella is my RL name and I like it used in full. Not a lot to ask.

I've only had them occasionally but they do 'shock' you. Yes, I'm sure that stress and being overtired spark them off. I have bruised toes now as (for some unknown reason) I kicked a cupboard forcefully in my sleep the other night! I woke up saying 'Ow, ow, ow!

Sorry should have directed post above at GabriellaG54

Gabriel Read posts more carefully before you jump. The OP described these events specifically as myoclonic shocks, not as electric shocks and when chestnut said shaken violently by what I can only describe as an electric shock.. It is clear this is a description of what she felt, not a claim that it was an actual electric shock. It strikes me as a very good description of what they feel like.

I have also sometimes suffered what feels like a sudden jerk as I relax into sleep, but not often enough nor severe enough, to cause me any discomfort, lack of sleep or concern.

Being over tired will do it. It's not life-threatening. They're just involuntary jerks.

I want to add that it is true that Pregabalin is one medication that can cause this type of problem.I am sorry I do not know what to do to help them.

I did have them sometimes while taking Pregabalin and they are not happening now I do not take it

I agree with Joelsnan on this subject