Just turned 50 and feeling morbid

I bet they they have some really good threads on menopausal neurotic angst on the Other Place boards.

My 50s were one of my best decades. The DSs were heading for independence, though they boomeranged a couple of times. By the end of the decade, I'd been holding down a job, doing an OU course, playing a big part in local politics and enjoying several excellent Ramblers'holidays as a single person. Oh and I had become a granny at 51 and often enjoyed the company of GD and her half brother at weekends. Many years later, at 78, I am by no means clapped out though I've taken full advantage of NHS provision of replacement joints.
So why be morbid? There are so many ways in which we 'elders' are so much more able to live a full life than were many of our predecessors.

Just got to this cos I've been away. Dear OP, you could have another 40 years...... FHS!

Annabelle01 I don't see much on this thread that's particularly helpful to you just now. We all approach 'big' birthdays in different ways and you are perfectly entitled to feel the way you do. I went through a time of great sadness when I hit the menopause and my childbearing years were over but came to realise that its all about the way you look at things. Accept the way you are feeling: in time you will adjust, find things to look forward to and move on. Age is just a number.

Partly it may be to do with our own pace of life. In my case I had my kids in my early 20s, they had left home by the time they were 20. I spent most of my 40s and all of my 50s with an "empty nest" and only became a grandmother when I was gone 60. It may not be a coincidence that I felt my most morbid fears about ageing in my 50s and had started feeling better in my 60s. I wonder if those of you in your 50s and 60s thinking the OP is a bit strange actually still have or had teenage or adult children at home when you were were 50 having started your family at an older age? I would imagine one feels younger while still involved in things from a younger life stage such as parenthood.

No, sorry! Our eldest 2 are 20 and almost 22 and boomerang between home and university, and our youngest is 12. The 12 year old keeps us both young (DH is 56) but I still feel quite conscious of my big 5-0.

Grannylaine I think this thread can be helpful to Annabelle. Surely she coame on GN about how she felt about being 50 and seeking the advice of those of us well past it - what he have given her is a reminder that three score years and ten, is not the length of human life these days, more nearly 4 score years and ten and that those far further down the line and her are still living active and fulfilling lives that do not give them time to think about when the great production line of life will toss them off.

I mean, Annabelle could die in a car crash tomorrow, is she worrying about that possibility?

...as well as a reminder that MN might be better for people with "menopausal neurotic angst".

So helpful.

M0nica, some posts might be helpful, the rather ridiculing tone of others is less so. I'm sure Annabelle01 is well aware of the variations in human lifespan and the diversity of experience of those past 50. OP asked if anyone else had experienced similar feelings to hers which is not quite the same as asking for advice.

I don't feel like a spring chicken, Gonegirl, more like an old broiler but I try to keep soldiering on.

20+ more years Annabelle - start planning what to do with them!
Or, as young DGD said to me 'that's one to add on to your bucket list, Granny'!

SirChenjin it depends when you had your kids. Some people (me included) had their kids and kids grew up and left home a decade before menopause. Many people were also grandparents at 40. Just because it's currently fashionable to wait till what used to be called middle aged before starting a family...

Had mine at 28, 30 and 38. Is 28 middle aged?!

You've missed my point. I was trying to say that I don't see why menopausal angst should be out of place on a grans website since many people are grans when they reach menopause.

I agree with you Ready . The person who made the derogatory comment about menopausal neurotic angst was suggesting that those of us who were feeling a bit out of sorts needed to grow up, shouldn't be taken seriously and should move over to Mumsnet where their neurosis might be taken more seriously.

Hit return too soon there.

...which of course is nonsense, because as you say, there are plenty of us on here who are going through the menopause throughout our 50s. There are far fewer going through that stage on MN.

I plan to live until at least 100. Just disappointed that at 55 I'm more than half way there!