Grandaughters bedtime

Children can have all sorts of unspoken fears which may seem absurd to adults. When I was a little younger than your granddaughter's age I was terrified that my parents would die during the night but believed that they would be all right if I stayed awake. I can trace this back to the first death in the family that registered in my child's mind – that of my grandmother. I wasn't grief-stricken, although my mother, of course, was. It's just that the enormity and implacability of death struck fear into my heart.

I am not suggesting that this is your granddaughter's fear, but it could be something as serious for her and as unexpected for you that keeping her awake.

mine were never sleepers ,we gave them a shelf beside their beds with books a drink and a snack .They always had a light so if they wakened they could see to amuse themselves.My GC are all great at bedtime ,but we've stuck to a routine since birth.Bath,warm drink and a story.Make sure they have quiet time for at least anhour with no tv etc before their bath and I use a sleep spray for our smallest who thinks monsters are allergic to the lavender...well it works for her and the lavender helps to settle her too.

When my DC were young they were placed in their rooms and put to bed, obviously I could not force them to sleep but they were not allowed back downstairs. They could call me and I would sit with them if they were poorly.

We had the same experience as luckygirl with one of ours who learned to stay in his room, reading when old enough. He was always calm though. It is worth checking if your granddaughter is scared, is she worried, has she heard something scary about bed times, or the dark, might she be afraid her Mum will disappear in the night? Imagination triggers all sorts of fears at any age, at six imagination can take over. Would something to listen to help her? There are relaxation cd’s for children which might help. Try not to worry too much. Let us know how she gets on.

I wouldn't worry about lack of sleep - one of my DDs was awake till midnight from birth - the rule was she did not have to try and sleep, but she must stay in her room - we gave her audio books, and when she learned to read she would just get lost in a book till she fell asleep.

I suspect she is frightened - children of that age often have irrational fears: the dark, what's under the bed, will an earwig crawl in my ear and not be able to get out......etc. Maybe she is tired, bur frightened to be in bed on her own. She may truly feel her life is in danger and in her tired and frightened state is hitting out.

My DD used to be like this. In the end we would send her to bed with a promise that if something was upsetting her she was allowed to bring her duvet and pillow and settle herself down on a mattress that we put at the end of our bed - but the rule was that she must not wake us up. WE made a bit of a game of that - see how quiet you can be! We often used to wake and find her fast asleep at the foot of the bed. She grew out of it - just knowing she had a safe bolthole was enough to settle her down.

My granddaughter goes to bed at 7.30 every night but very rarely goes to sleep before 10- 10.30.
No problem getting up and is ahead of her age in maths and English.

You cannot make a person - adult or child - fall asleep. You can, however ensure that they go to bed at a set time every night and insist that they stay there quietly, reading, drawing, playing with a toy, listening to music until they are ready to sleep,

"Kicks and punches" ? Has this child showed physically aggressive behaviour before?

Could she be over tired?

I had a friend who's little one started doing this. She turned the TV and lights off and went and got herself into bed, leaving him sat in the dark. He soon moved

I don't want to cause you any other concerns but children with ASD have trouble sleeping and find it difficult to relax. Is her room a quiet place? There could be numerous reasons for her wakefulness.

If shouting and screaming means that she is allowed to stay up, then there is the answer. She should be put to bed, however many times she gets out. It won't take long if boundaries are adhered to without a fuss.

nannakathy does your DGD cope without so much sleep? Does she fall asleep at school or become tired? We are not all built the same with the same time clocks.
Try looking at sleep techniques on the internet e.g. having a warm bath then a story, perhaps some warm milk and genaral wind down time.
Is something worrying her? Is she frightened of the dark? There are numerous reasons why she might not go to sleep at a regular time.
If she is truly not tired at that time it is almost impossible to make yourself sleep if you can't. My DGD would go to sleep ok but would then wake up at 5am every morning no matter what time she went to bed. This went on for a long time till she grew out of it and was able to amuse herself. The more wound up mum gets the worse it will be. Try a change of routine or something.

I would say you need to look at what this behaviour achieves. Obviously she gains something. Her bed time would remain exactly the same if I were dealing with her (but I am quite horribly strict!)