menopause

My initial reaction to this is.....and she's told her MIL?????
Surely its something she needs to get to grips with herself...then perhaps her husband might have something to say about it.......but its a bit personal for a general family discussion....in my, perhaps, old fashioned view.

Hilda I can see your point.
However, I find perhaps her husband might have something to say about it a strange statement. It's not like he can change anything.

Possibly grannylyn's DIL mentioned it during a conversation between the two of them - or perhaps it's been mentioned by another member of the family and she's just concerned. Early menopause isn't much talked about or understood generally.

(agree about the 'husband' comment, why should he have anything to say about it? )

There was a big article in the Guardian last week.

She has been suffering odd symptoms for a while. We are bery very close and she is my 'go to ' person
I find it. little disconcerting that people would consider this wrong for her to tell me.
I have been very ill myself and she has been a rock.

Certainly not wrong grannylyn just unusual. You have to admit that a MiL is not the first person most people would chose to discuss this with.
You and her obviously have a great relationship which is good to hear considering some of the stories on here and MN

Well I haven't been a MIL before!! But we seem to like and trust each other! I honestly didn't think it was odd!!

It's perhaps not as unusual as people tend to think, grannylyn, especially if the DIL isn't close to her own mother (or doesn't have one).

There's lots of information on the internet - just enter 'early menopause' in the search box. I'm sorry but I have no knowledge or experience of it myself.

I don't think it's at all odd grannylyn65, I think it's lovely that you have such a close relationship.

Thanks Lona ?

ninathenana - reading my words back I can see it looked a bit odd 'having something to say' was not a good choice of words as it carries more meaning than the mere words.....what I meant was that he would be first port of call as emotional support perhaps, as besides the DIL he will probably be the most aware of what is happening. I wished my OH had had some insight to my menopause....I was 'not myself' for quite sometime.
I'm not sure I would have wanted much input form my MIL....but that's a whole other story.

DS not too good on 'female issues '!!'

I wish we hadn't been brought up to think of it as such a private thing, we all missed out on a wealth of knowledge and experience. No-one older than me would talk to me about it, and the books in the library were absolutely rubbish. Magazines glossed over it. grannylyn your DDiL is a very lucky girl.

My mother went through it early, when she was only 40. She wouldn't talk about it, but all I do know is that she has been told that it is probably one of the reasons why she now has osteoporosis, and should have been told to take supplements. As it was 40 years ago, I suspect Drs will be far more clued up on what your DDiL should be doing. Mentally, of course she is likely to be very shocked, especially if she was hoping to have more children, but I hated having periods and being on the pill so much I think I would have been delighted! I suspect she will be given HRT of some kind.

She is to see Dr as soon as.
We are lucky to have her in the family
She has a very close relationship with her own family so is all good!

I find some comments on here really weird. Menopause is a fact of life, it happens, it's part of living. Why should anyone not discuss it?

Anyway, I think it's lovely that you are close to your DIL. She sounds lovely and so do you. I hope she's ok. I know that the menopause can start very early on and they'll be able to check it quite easily with some simple blood tests.

Sadiesnan ??

Whilst I do not see a person's menopause as intrinsically a private matter ...its basically part of the ageing process....it is however, often very individual and personal in its effect both on the woman, her family and marriage and any other elements of her life. Many women breeze through it easily both physically and emotionally and just see it as an end to all that messy monthly business.

Others, myself included, had a complex and subtle set of peri-menopause symptoms that left me emotional fragile and physically exhausted. I was quite literally 'not myself' for a quite a while and needed the time to understand my place in the world. Looking back I realized I actually put my marriage in jeopardy simply because I was so unstable and unhappy. Thankfully I found my way through it and was much relieved that I had dealt with it on my own terms.

Hot flushes, night sweats, even the classic and somewhat clichéd mood swings are annoyances that no one should be embarrassed about, but menopause can be a really challenging stage that can take time to endure and I do think we all need a chance to withdraw, cope with it on our own terms and not have to worry what others are thinking.

It's not in the least odd grannylynn. I have a good relationship with both my sons' partners and hope they would feel free to confide in mewhen they felt the need. Menopause is very hard for husbands to understand and if a listening ear is needed, mine will be there.

I've got all sorts of weird and odd things going on in my body. Two years ago I had a large malignant tumour removed together with ovaries, uterus, cervix, fallopian tubes and omentum. I have scar tissue that affects my bowels, I have hot flushes, sleep difficulties, mood swings, aches in my joints, a prolapse, weight gain, I think that's it. I talk to anyone who will listen, ha ha. My sons and their wives have been very supportive and have provided various shoulders to cry on. Thank goodness my family are happy to talk about the menopause and cancer.

The menopause will happen to every woman. Cancer is affecting more and more of us. For goodness sake let's put these subjects out there and normalise them.

Gosh Sadiesnan, how do you cope?
I had a mastectomy some years ago due to breast cancer. Am clear now.

I'm thrilled for you grannylyn

I've been referred to the menopause clinic at the hospital and my various symptoms are being looked at. I forgot to mention that I have urinary urgency as well. Anyway, I'm using a hormone pessary that's helping that. I'm being weighed at the doctors once a week, so I'm on a strict no carb diet. They're monitoring my prolapse. I have amitriptyline to take when I'm desperate for a night's sleep. My GP is very good, and I have my lovely family to look after me. Thanks for asking grannylyn.

There's a great website called Menopause Matters which has a wealth of information. There are a lot of lovely ladies that talk on the forum and they impart a lot of advice, information and support about everything to do with menopause. Get you DIL to have a look, she will come across a lot of ladies who are experiencing an early menopause.
I think it's lovely that you have such a good relationship with your DIL and I'm very envious!

Update, DDIL has had blood tests and is going for ultrasound.
Thanks for positive feedback

I hope she's ok.