cancer

ethel - the books by Miss Read have sustained me through several bouts of ill health and surgery. I always turn to them when life is a challenge as they are restful without being banal. I cannot recommend them highly enough. There are lots of them, so they can see you through convalescence.

May I suggest 'Pomp and Circumstance' by Noel Coward as a good read. It is his only novel and written in his usual witty style. Very funny and light hearted.
Keep us posted

Ethelbags so sorry to hear about the return of your cancer. I too have a horror of hospitals and operations. I'm a real wimp about that kind of thing so when cancer struck I was terrified of the treatment. I tried to plan treats for myself afterwards as a reward for getting through each stage. I do wish you well with what is ahead. I suppose the mindfulness thing of acknowledging your fears at night and then trying to let them go might be worth a try. Not easy though. You could also use visualisation. Thinking of your trees, maybe with birds singing in them. I found focusing on a particular image during some of the nastier parts of my treatment helped me get through.

Re the book suggestion, everyone's tastes are different. Something light but absorbing would be best for the disturbing hospital environment. I have just read 'A Far Cry from Kensington' by Muriel Spark which was amusing but cleverly written.

Good luck. And keep in touch!

It must depend on what type of cancer you have. I only had one visit from the Breast Cancer Care nurse before my treatment and none after - all blood samples etc. were all taken either by my GP nurse or at the hospital.

I did my stomach injections myself - I'm not bothered by that sort of thing, although I do appreciate that many are.

Anyway, I think it's a good plan to think in blocks - just one day, or one procedure, one thing to get through and give yourself a pack on the back when it's been done, ethel.

What sort of books do you like?

Anna I don't know about Ethelbags nurse visits but I had them visiting to take blood to gauge if I was ok for the next dose of chemo. They would have come more often to give daily injections if my dh hadn't volunteered to do it with the quote "Och it will no be much different to injecting the coos" the look on the district nurse's face was priceless.

Och Ethelbags I am so sorry to hear about your dashed cancer. I was away from home for 4 weeks when I was getting my radiotherapy (got my chemo at home) and I found the Maggie's center an unbelievable comfort. I would thoroughly recommended getting in touch with your nearest Maggie's. In the meantime take each day as it comes. I found concentrating on small blocks of time rather than far into the future a big help. I worked in 3 week blocks mostly as that was how often I got the chemo but you could just work in week blocks or daily blocks if that suits you.

btw can anyone recommend a good book that is not to hard to read as my concentration is not good, one that I can take to the hospital to hopefully take my mind off things when I am recovering.

Heartbreak Hotel by Deborah Moggach (of Best Exotic Marigold Hotel fame) is a good, lighthearted read, ethel

Hope all goes well for you.

How long will you be in hospital after the op, ethel?

Why would nurses need to come to your home, ethel? That's a serious question because I don't know how you will be affected physically by your surgery and whether you'll need special NHS care.

All I can say is that you know you need this treatment, and you have to get through it. The fear is natural but you do have the strength to do it. Chin up!

btw can anyone recommend a good book that is not to hard to read as my concentration is not good, one that I can take to the hospital to hopefully take my mind off things when I am recovering.

I read all your stories about friends recovering from cancer and I too have someone like that, she will not listen if I moan and tells me off. She went into remission for 32years and it came back a year ago she is now in hospital but will not give in, I don't know how she does it, I don't have the strength to do it.

having a bad day, had pre op tests and I just could not cope, I just feel so helpless in a hospital, I cant describe it. I hate the thought of losing control when going under the anaesthetic and absolutely hate the thought of being dependant on others to help me afterwards. I am spiralling towards next week, on a rollercoaster and cannot get off. I have to face nurses who will come to my home, phone calls from hospital and goodness knows what else when I come home. I just feel like packing a bag and disappearing like hundreds of people do every day, I would just live my life out in peace (I wont do this don't worry). I will report for duty next week at the hospital and like the last time I will cry all day until I go home. I cant even drive past the hospital without cringing. I don't want to be like this. Someone said today she loves going to hospital as its like a holiday, I think I would rather have the holiday not the hospital.

Ethel My best friend, 74 this year, has just recovered from her second cancer. First was fallopian tube and then breast cancer, with double mastectomy. She runs rings round me, is full of beans, and looks wonderful.
She had three lots of chemo, went everywhere with no hair and shamelessly played the cancer card to get what she wanted in shops and restaurants!
She still runs her own very successful business, the workmen she employs call her Miss Whiplash!

So, don't worry, there can be a full life afterwards.

If it's any help, ethel, I felt absolutely fine after both my ops for breast cancer, and recovered really quickly. I know your cancer's different, but the 'built-in' pain relief works really well these days.

Chemo was a different matter, but you've already experienced that and survived - you will get through this, it's do-able!

ethel just try to focus on your tree climbing and your DGD {{hug}} and dont feel alone and worried, there is always someone about on GN.

Oh ethel it is such a difficult time, as well I know. I felt cold, in body and mind as I waited for the cancer operation - wanting it to be gone but so frightened. I can't do anything useful for you, but I do send my best, best and most hopeful wishes to you.

Keep posting - we are here.

This week must seem so long for you. I hope that all your techniques will help you to get through it and send all good wishes to you for your surgery.

I am using hypnotherapy to help with my hospital phobia, I use aromatherapy oils to help relax, crystals and gems to helo with viusalisatoin. I do need some new age music to play though so I will have to download some soon.
I have a week to go (till the op)I am grateful for all your supportive comments and feedback.

I too sometimes find myself in that dark lonely place. Probably not as immediately serious as your situation but with a big unknown. One day I may feel up to writing about it, but not yet.
I cope by keeping myself as well as I can, healthy diet, exercise so I'm physically tired at the end of the day and yoga helps me to focus on the now and not the future. I think that if I can keep myself as well as possible then I will be in the best position to fight should I need to. I might be kidding myself but at least I feel I'm doing something positive. Don't forget the power of the mind, visualisation techniques, don't imagine the cancer cells invading, think about your immune system and the chemo fighting back.
I try to do all the things that you should do to get a good nights sleep. Not too much caffeine, screen time etc etc. but if I wake up then I go with it, make a hot drink and listen to the radio. Maybe if I'm very tired then I'll have a short nap in the daytime but not too late or too long.

Then I remember my much younger cousin who died of a heart attack without warning. None of us can be sure of tomorrow, today is too precious to waste worrying what may be.

ethel - you know I'm thinking of you

The wee small hours are always the worst when everything seems magnified. I have a friend who gets up and makes tea and toast, another who goes on the internet (perhaps GN?) but I lie and worry which is daft really.

If they can remove the tumour and those lymph nodes that they can access, then perhaps the chemo to treat the rest will not be so strong? There are always new treatments coming along and I hope one is suitable for you and you can be prescribedit. You could always enquire if there are any trials of new drugs which you could join after your operation.

should be a tree but there isn't one.

Go ethel go! Blimey I couldn't see me tree climbing. Love your affinity with trees. Mind you if the leylandii was strong it would probably be 50ft by now so be thankful for small mercies. I am just off to bed feeling cold - must be the shock of the day I think - in case you haven't seen the thread I had my handbag stolen today - b----s!

Hope to speak before you go into hospital - when is that? Have an excellent night

xxx

Hey whitewave, tree climbing is not out of bounds yet even at our ages. The other day I took DGD up a tree (not to high ) and we sat on a branch and I told her I love trees and we will do higher ones as she gets bigger. We tree hug too as I believe trees have a spirit that I can feel as I get nearer. My trees are my babies and I know the history of them all, when I planted them as babies and which ones are strong and which are poorly, I have a weak leylandii at the minute which I may have to remove but I feel bad if they have to be cut down.
So post operation and some weeks hence I will be up a tree again, I also want to go to a belly dancing class (providing the belly is recovered) in September. Now you think Im completely mad but I refuse to grow old like an old lady, I want to grow older just being myself and doing what I want. b......s to the cancer.

I made tea then had a sleep. Im fine now.trying to forget for now and enjoy the next few days