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Don't like surprises 😒

(7 Posts)
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icbn2802 Sat 24-Oct-26 09:08:37

Life has been pretty stressful lately, DH has been saying I could do with a break, just a few days and a breather away from everything (and everyone-I have a large family, lots of helping out & childcare)
Anyway, he's been telling me to give it some thought, I'm not an impulsive person, prefer to give things some thought. So I've been getting some ideas together. Nothing way out or exotic in mind; maybe a couple of days in a hotel a little way from home, a chance to unwind with my thoughts & my sewing machine (I love my crafts)
So I'm still giving it some thought, when I arrive home one day, to learn he's already booked. A 4 day stay in a cottage, 4 hours drive away from home, in the middle of nowhere, for me & my friend, next week....
Now I dearly love my DH, I appreciate he is only trying to help (think he fears I'll have a breakdown soon if I don't take a break) but I really don't want to go...
Love the idea of getting away, but I would have much preferred being alone.
I know the idea is for me to have some time to relax. But in all honesty I'm just stressing. I don't want to upset him or sound ungrateful, AIBU?

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Cossy Sat 24-Oct-26 09:10:11

I’m the same, and it’s so sad, but I loathe surprises of all types!

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Cossy Sat 24-Oct-26 09:11:31

No, you’re not being unreasonable, but it is a very lovely and kind gesture from your DH. However, after all these years you’d think he’d know you slightly better.

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Sago Sat 24-Oct-26 09:16:48

I am not a lover of surprises either but I do often get sick of making all the decisions and planning everything.

Just go with it, it may turn out to be one of the best breaks you have had.

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fancythat Sat 24-Oct-26 09:26:33

I would go.

And at some point politely tell your friend that you want time alone.
If she is a good friend, she will understand.

Thinking about it, you may want to tell her before you go.
So she can pack accordingly - books, puzzles, walking boots, whatever.

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Plevey08 Sat 24-Oct-26 09:30:12

Surprises like that can be tricky. I wouldn't be keen.
Any chance it can be cancelled? You may lose the deposit if the date is close.
Just say you'd like a 2 night stay in a hotel, which may not cost as much, so a possibility of making up the potential loss of deposit.
He should understand that you don't like to be rushed into a choice that you wouldn't enjoy.

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Sarnia Sat 24-Oct-26 09:34:59

I would gently tell him that you don't want to go. It's seems he meant well but he should have asked you before booking. If the object of the exercise is to destress then going with a friend, no matter how close they are, isn't going to work. Your friend will want to chat, may not want you to do your crafting, wants to go out places when you would rather not.
Best all round to be honest. No offence meant to your DH or your friend but as you have been at everyone's beck and call, it's time for you to have a few days of exactly what YOU would like.

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