To dye or not to dye?

My previously dark hair is a horrible mix of faded brown and grey, so I dye it using a professional colour that I get from a hairdressing wholesalers. It is Wella Colour Touch and only lasts for a few weeks as it has no bleach and just lays on the hair giving a nice gloss.

However if I had hair like yours Leah I would stick with the beautiful silver, especially as your husband loved it, possibly with a funky new cut. My very glam Aunty had silver hair and often wore a scarf with clear vivid colours like pink and lilac, which really complemented her colouring.

I am 71 now but have had silver hair since I was about 50! I used to colour it but it looked awful as it grew out so I had it cut short. People often ask me where I have it coloured so it must look alright! For special occasions I use Touch of Silver conditioning spray which gives a lovely shine.

I too have a hairdresser who bleached her hair and then coloured it a mauvy grey. i thought mine looked better than hers!

Leah111, just tell yourself that your DH would still think that you were beautiful and try to think about that if anyone is rude enough to comment adversely on your hair colour. The prettiest older woman I know is now 70 and has had white hair for more than 10 years. (She too has lost her DH.)

My mother went grey at 35 and said that she would be glad when she went completely white as it would look better. It did! Although my father never lost his hair colour completely, and she looked older than him, he thought that she was perfect, so she felt confident.

I've always battled with fine hair which, now I've gone grey, has coarsened to a reasonable texture. I'm actually allover white but have found that John Frieda's Liquid Shine Brilliant Brunette Color Glaze, applied for a few minutes every shampoo or two, gives my hair a very subtle mink-coloured sheen. I can no longer buy it across the counter here but bought several bottles online and hope I can continue to do so.

I went 'grey' when I was young and liked the fact that people thought that I was blonde like my daughter. For many years I have been white haired. If I am tanned, or have good make-up, I think I look good. The main thing is to resist 'old lady', feathery cuts. Keep it sharp and avoid yellowing. Also, emphasize the eyes with lots of eyeliner and mascara. Pretend you are the editor of Vogue or some such!

But I agree that we all glance at a woman with silver hair and think 'old' whereas with a man we think 'mature'. It's not fair, is it. But think of all the money you are saving by not having it dyed and look how harsh dyed brown/black looks on older women and how commonplace is the mink coloured 'blonde'.

Sorry Jackiekiel, I hadn't read your post, and didn't mean to be rude about your subtle colour. I am sure it is lovely?

I am 75 and stopped colouring my hair about 10 years ago, I have no regrets. My skin is quite fair, and I think as we get older everything sort of fades so find that I do need to apply some colour in the form of moisturiser or foundation. Also another tip is invest in some wigs, I have two, in my own colour and one in a very pale blond. They are fantastic especially if I am having a bad hair day! I ignor all the people who say that once you get over a certain age you shouldn't have long hair. Mine is long and I wear it up in a very smart style, the wigs are short and many folk just ask if I have been to the hairdresser.

Just go to a good hairdresser who will make it look as natural as possible. This will involve two or three colour applications to make it look nice so be prepared to pay.

I used to colour my greying hair and was horrified when I noticed on a photo how dead it looked against my naturally aging skin. I immediately had it cut very short and quickly grew out the remaining colour. It's now silvery white, I keep it very short and spiky and it always looks shiny and healthy, my family think it looks great and the way my 5 yr old grandson recognises generational ages is by hair colour

Love this thread.

I had dark brown hair and started going grey in my early thirties. I tried every hair colourant I could find. I had a colouring accident in my forties and my hair turned green! It had to be reprotenised and I ended up with red hair.

In my fifties I had blonde streaks until my hair went very thin on top and then I had a full hair blonde colourant - until I suddenly decided to go grey and I've never looked back.

It's such a relief to be grey and proud. I don't have streaks or coloured highlights but you can have all sorts of streaks put in if you're grey.

I've seen many grey haired ladies with coloured streaks, purple and red - not for me but fun if you fancy it.

I stopped colouring my hair about 5 years ago and I am loving it. I have grey sunburns - like Stewart Granger - and it looks great. I used to spend a fortune at the hairdresser colouring my hair every 6 weeks or so. The feeling of relief at not doing that anymore is wonderful. I do think it helps to have a trendy haircut. Mine is spikey and short. A bit of gel in the morning and I am set for the day.

Leave your hair silver Leah especially if you are alkergic to the chemicals in hair dye.

One of my friends who is younger than me has had silver hair for years. It always looks lovely because she has a really good cut frequently. She is lucky in that her hair is fairly straight and strong and she had it cut in an immaculate bob, now a bit shorter fashionable style.
It's the cut that is important, straggly grey or silver hair can be ageing - if it's long and you can't bear to cut it then wearing it up can 'lift' you.

I agree about having a makeup session (if you wear it) as wearing the right shade for your hair colour could make all the difference.

Don't worry about the other Granny. Young people can be very cutting without meaning to be, just smile and say 'yes, dear' and ignore them.

Spiky, short, silver hair, preferably with a slight sun tan is my preferred 'look'. I don't think it is ageing at all - just my own special version of blonde.

I have short hair - sometimes spikier than others depending whether I put 'product' on it as they say. I was a mousey brown which has now turned peppery grey. I have a fabulous hairdresser in a salon where they paint on colours which blend with ones own but give it a lift. I've had hints of brown with a bit of maroon previously but this time I've gone for blonder colours. I love it and having to sit with a coffee, biscuit and magazine and be waited on for about an hour altogether [including washing & trimming] is, in my view, absolute bliss. Give it a whirl Leah11! If you don't like it it will wash out eventually and will certainly fade out within a few months without showing defined roots.

Leah11
As you are good with make-up, it could be a good idea to get some new suggestions from a consultant (preferably free, as suggested by janeainsworth) rather than go to a lot of trouble with your hair.

Holiday in the sun sounds like a great idea too .

Oh, how we all agonise over this! I do understand, because like my grandmother before me, I was going grey in my 20s, and had highlights added to try to hide it. By the time I was 35 I was almost entirely grey, and the technology did not exist then to dye my hair.

I was sad for my daughter, who was asked whether 'Granny' was picking her up from school. Now, the genes are doing the same to her.

I couldn't afford my lowlights, which darkened my white hair with grey, after the end of last year, so I let them grow out. I had my already short hair 'roughed up' in a very short and spikey cut, which is brilliant for washing and 'styling' and sends out a very modern message. I feel I have grown into my sparkly white hair now.

I think perhaps the most ageing thing of all is the worried look we get from being bothered about it! Lots of good friendly advice here, but it is really all down to what is going on in our own heads. Accept whatever you feel is right for you, Leah11, and you will smile and look great. Good luck with it.

Good advice dartmoor.
Serenity makes up for a lot
Welcome if you are new.

Thank you for all your lovely comments, and taking the time to write. Very interesting. I have enjoyed reading them all. Think a new haircut and having a makeup session will revitalise me. ;o ......Oh! and I now have a new campaign! lol!

PPP could you describe an 'old lady feathery cut.
I'd be interested..... Just to consider if that is what I've got

I used to have it always short and spiky and tousled. Then decided to let the sides grow in a bit more, it's a little longer but still razor cut and tousled.

I'm also a blonde with various shades of blonder meshes. Colour it myself and hairdresser adds the meshes. Yikes!!! Am I also a mink blonde. ??

Aaaaggghhhh.... am I a mink blonde with an old lady feathery cut.

Saw Julie Walters on the Graham Norton show on Friday night.

No-one could call her an 'old lady' but she has let her hair go silver - it looked great.

What colour is 'mink'? Is it....beige ??

Well, it's not gold.
So silver is preferable

Isn't it funny, what some people like and others, don't. I quite like to see the 'mink' colour. My hair is layered, long and curly although I straighten the top of my head, and I don't have much grey yet. Last week an elderly lady approached me and a friend and said how much she envied our lovely thick shiny hair. I looked at her, and thought - if only she stopped setting her hair in rollers! If she had a feathery or spiky cut it would take years off her, especially with a bit of a fringe. But she had rollered it up from her forehead, which is very aging. Even in the forties, it made all the women look 40!

Take note our, own dear Queen. Every time I see ER I could scream. I suspect she couldn't care less and people are frightened to tell her that there is not left in the land with that hairstyle.

I know! So many women keep the hairstyle they had when they were young, which suited them then, but their faces have changed. MiL was given an amazing haircut when living in Brussels, she then came back to her local hairdresser who carried on cropping her hair and giving her the hairstyle she had as a young swimming instructor. It makes her look like an aging bulldog. Yet when I suggested that she just ask for the hair on top to be left a bit longer she gets cross. Just an inch longer on top with a bit of a tousle made such a difference. It took years off her.