Book Club Blues.

Hope it goes well for you Shell

The lost art of listening!

Give it time,if you have already given it time find another book club, if its friends you want it takes a while for them to know you too, I am joining a new one myself end of October, hoping to make new friends,I'll take along a coffee,sit there and smile and listen(its in the library)as I don't know the book discussed,but I'm hopeful it will be friendly.

When our book club started we were given some sound advice by someone's Aunt who had been in a book club for 19 years.
When discussing the book, go round each member in term who makes three points only, with no comment from other members until everyone has had a chance to voice an opinion, then the general discussion begins.
When choosing a book we all submit suggestions and a few members form a list, attempt to cover as many different genres as possible then order them from the Library or find our own copies.
We all agree to do our level best to read the book despite not necessarily approving of the author or subject.
It has worked well for us for nearly 27 years.

My post was directed to butterand jam. I clicked on Quote. Not sure why quote did not show. Sorry all!

Interesting analogy.
Keeping in mind that some threads are 3, 4, 5 pages long, I like to read the first page, then the last page. Or I just steer clear of replying to anything that has more than 1 or 1 pages. Like this one! It was easy to read all the posts.
Just thought I'd let you know I read your reply ;-)

Like all groups it sounds like some are better than others. Perhaps enquire at your local library, then like Extratime you can just raid the library shelves, and the club could be a bit more structured.
I would love to join a book club but can’t get out much or commit to reading a book by a deadline due to caring for my DH.

I think you need to shop around. Books club can vary so you need to find one that suits your idea of a book club.
Before I moved I went to a lovely one where we took turns in suggesting a book and at our monthly meeting we would all have our say about it and give it marks out of 10.
Since I moved we are given the leaders choice of book, there's very little discussion about it and no scoring. The reason I keep going is that the other ladies are so friendly and the park cafe where we meet serves a delicious light lunch.

greyfur16

I feel a bit dejected about this latest attempt to "meet people"
Nobody actually listens to each other and the reading of the book seems like an optional extra.

Tempted to remain a solo reader.

Sounds much like Gransnet, where many never bother reading the OP in a thread or any others.

If you are going to join any interest group that will comprise a group of random people, you take a chance.

If you are the newbie you do need to give it a chance although with some groups (whatever the interest) I’ve realised from the start that it probably isn’t going to work for me.

I usually give a new group two maybe three tries before I bail out. I accept it isn’t always them but me because I’m serious about books and do want a couple of hours of intelligent discussion after the usually pleasantries.

What is it that you want from a book group and would you consider starting something yourself?

The points you outline Graphite are familiar.

Can I muster the energy to keep putting myself through these experiences? Maybe it's more effective to do my research first.

Book clubs do vary enormously so you may have to try a few before you find one that’s right for you.

It does seem a matter of luck and who the members are. In the past, I had only ever been in one that I enjoyed a lot (though even that had its occasional problems) but we did read a good range of books. Members were pleasant, engaged and enthusiastic.

Other groups I’ve tried (and left) have just seemed an excuse to:

• meet and talk about family (competitive grandmothers) or

• drink wine (Nobody reads the book, don’t be silly!) or

• read very limited genres of book or were

• so large that people just broke into small groups of twos and threes to chat among themselves or sat scrolling on their phones after they had said their piece.

I’m a fairly new U3A member, joined last year and am slowly trying out different interest groups. The book group seems good so far. The same person has been running it for a long time. We meet in the pub. There’s a well-honed format, a good choice of books and lively discussion.

So try another group … or think about starting one yourself. You only need a venue and to put up a few posters an/or something on your FB community page. People will come.

The one I enjoyed in the past was a new one so we were able to set the tone and the objectives right from the start.

I do think it helps if someone does take control and even comes along prepared or pre-prepares the group with a few questions to focus the discussion - but without being too prescriptive.

I belong to a monthly book club based at our local library. This has the advantage that I don’t have to buy a book, although occasionally I have enjoyed a book so much that I have bought a copy anyway.

There are 12 of us in the group and we take it in turns to choose a book from a list provided by the library which has 12 copies.
The leader for that week introduces the book and the author and then asks everyone for their opinion ‘ did you like it and if so why or why not’ Then the leader asks further questions to lead the discussion. The discussions tend to be lively especially if some of the group didn’t like the book!
Joining a book club has introduced me to so many great authors that I wouldn’t have tried otherwise and we take it in turns to make a cake which we consume before the discussion, so I’ve sampled many different cakes as well as many different books!

The person leading it makes notes and after the meeting emails us all with how the meeting went and a list of recommendations. Actually the group is so successful that it has now split into two groups as the waiting list was rather long!

I’m sorry to hear your Book group isn’t working.

The one I attend has been going for years and we know each other well. One person leads it - if they aren’t available someone else does. I’m third on that list! We gave a theme each month - Russian novels, classics, short stories etc. every third month we all read the same book from the local library’s stash. During the meeting we go round and everyone talks about the ‘set’ book and we go round again and make recommendations. It works.

I agree it's about finding the right group.

I've never had any luck with book clubs 🫣 - I feel that selecting a book to read is a very personal choice and some book club members in my experience try too hard to impress with highbrow selections.

Thanks folks, it's a bit chaotic. I'll maybe search for another one.

Oh that's a shame! It doesn't appear very structured. In mine, the person who nominated the book opens with background on the author and relevant information on the subject matter, why they chose the book. Then it's over to the rest of us, strictly one by one at first to give our appraisal our thoughts. Finally a discussion which involves the whole group. If there are just a couple of dominant voices, one friend's description of a gathering she went to, it would seem pointless to describe it as a club. I'm sorry for your experience greyfur, doesn't sound inclusive. Who's running it? would it be possible to have a quiet word with the organiser.

Not my experience- my book group has been together for over 20 years and are firm friends, sadly losing a few to the Grim Reaper along the way but acquiring new members too and I would really miss it. We read books we might not necessarily have chosen - or found - our discussions can be lively and stimulating and our afternoons are something we all look forward to.
You’ve just got the wrong group.