Baggs I found long hair more trouble than short. When mine gets too long it just droops around my face and annoys me.
I hate getting my hair cut too, so years ago I bought a Phillips harcutting thingy. I have never set foot in a hardressers since (I hope no-one says "yes it shows!!") and neither did DH. I whizz it over my hair every three or four weeks, and just wash my hair and rough dry it so that it gets a bit of body.
It is adjustable up to 40mm. I don't cut the front of my hair with it - that gives me a rather weird-looking fringe, as it follows my rather weird hairline) I do that with comb and scissors, a la posh stylist.
I tried to find the same model, but it has clearly been discontinued long ago. However there is another model which goes up to 42mm, and there may be others even longer. This is it on Amazon www.amazon.co.uk/Philips-HC9450-13-Motorised-Adjustable/dp/B00YGR72ZY/ref=sr_1_4_s_it?s=drugstore&ie=UTF8&qid=1497974108&sr=1-4&keywords=philips+hair+clippers&tag=gransnetforum-21
Perhaps you can charge Mr B for cutting his hair on one of the shorter settings? It would pay for itself in - um - you are the mathematician, you work it out.
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Can't wait to see the new pixie cut
. In any case, it's still short and five minutes after the shower it's dry and ready to go. Although a few more minutes on the styling might help the overall effect.
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sympathy Galen and others.