Soop's kitchen for friendly folk and precious pets...

Paw's family all had "bean" nicknames when they were children
His father was Old Bean, his mother Has Bean (cheeky!) Paw being tall and thin was String Bean, his brother who is "chunkier" was Broad Bean, one sister was French Bean and the other was Runner Bean.

I have just been watching a video I found a link to on a very interesting site about wartime rationing. The video was called Granny Knows Best and featured a lady in a kitchen expounding about making the best of frugal rations. It sounded as if she was about to show us how to make something tasty and sustaining. What did she make? Potato peeling crisps!! The "here is one I made earlier" plateful looked so disgusting I noticed that she deigned to try them herself and I'm not surprised! I laughed so much I nearly fell out of my chair!

I'm still here, waiting for partner to go. I told him he could stay but he doesn't want to.

I was going to post a pic of my garden but it's gone to wrack and ruin.

Do you want him to?
It sounds as if he doesn't know what he wants
You have to get on with your own life though and having tried to compromise, now do what is right for YOU now.

No, I would be happy to live out our lives together, albeit seperately. But he wants to go and I am equal to the challenge thinking that I can make my home nice again. I just hate this half way house thing. I'm still laundering his shirts and I honestly feel he will die soon without me. I as cultivating a relationship with my ex husband but its no good. Quite happy to live alone for a while (I think!) Floundering, actually)

I don't actually know what a life is at 67! I have my little cottage and Sophie to care for but I've never been this old or alone at this stage of my life before.

I've always been used to looking after my mum (Alzheimer's) then dad then then this helpless partner so don't know where I am now

As long as you continue to launder his shirts he will be staying with you. Let him find out how a washing machine works and preferably at his new abode.

Oh Wot please take care of yourself for a change xxx

wot it sounds as if you have been putting yourself at the bottom of the priorities list for too many years. It can be hard to put yourself first, hard to break the habit of "being there" for others but you can do it.
Alone does not necessarily mean lonely, and without your present partner like a ball and chain round your ankle it is your turn to do something for yourself. I hope I am not speaking out of turn, but this man seems to want to have his cake AND eat it.
If he wants to go - and it is not just the IDEA of going- he needs to get on with it.
If he wants to stay and try again, that is a different challenge, but accepting the status quo simply as the easy way out will make neither of you happy.
I do hope you can come to the right decision for you, follow it through and enjoy some time with Sophie, for YOU, YOURSELF.

Thanks, mawb! I was the only one out of three children to stay behind
And look after the "old folk" married but no children, so natural carer.

Don't let your life slip by "by default", everybody deserves some happiness at whatever stage in their lives and from what you say, this man is adding very little to the quality of your life.
Time to call it a day, to set a bit of a timetable Brexit means Brexit going means going. And stay strong!

wot - yes, do work on putting yourself first. It's partly genetic and partly that we fall easily into the role of carer that leaves so many women feeling 'selfish' if they fail to leap into action when others seem to need us.
A first step is definitely to stop doing his laundry.
I don't know if you're a joiner or whether you are fit enough to ramble. Friends who joined the ramblers have nothing but positives to say. Others go to U3A groups and are making new friends.
Look after yourself x

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Morning all !!

I am in the camp of not a fan of broad beans but Paws family nicknames made me chuckle. At Cooper's pre school they name their exercises 'Jumping bean' , 'Runner bean' etc .

You put me to shame Iam ! I'm exhausted just reading the tale of your return home.

Wot why are you doing laundry for someone who having been told he can stay tells you he wants to go? I can see that you are one of the worlds carers but its time to care for you first !!

Truly !

He has shown you scant respect and you have come to believe that you are getting what you deserve but that's just not so !! You are worth it, you deserve a kind , loving and respectful relationship. You deserve a life that makes you feel good in the mornings when you get up and still feels good last thing at night.

BUT only you can do this . Small steps - hand him the laundry detergent !! Shut the door to his room and ignore the chaos behind it. As my daughter says' Time to put your big girl pants on' ! You can have any life you choose--- choose the one that you want. 67 is nothing in the big picture of things!!

I wish you luck !! And strength !!

Today I am just lazing ! We had a visit for the little boys yesterday. I was sitting on my recliner, Jackson hurtled into the room , tripped over his own feet and hit his head on the ( thank god very padded) foot of the recliner with the most resounding thud !!

Hopefully, today will be better as they are off to the American Car Fest at Brands Hatch. As you know cars are Jackson's passion so he's looking forward to it. Yesterday he learnt about tyres.... I've added a picture !!

I wouldn't want to give the impression I have energy! I was in my bed with a book by 8.30 and sleeping by 9pm. I mad a cup f tea at 7.15 and came back to bed. The dogs sleep in the utility but come up and snuggle on the bed when one of us makes that first delicious cup of tea. I confess, I'm still here, the dogs are snoozing happily, apologies to any Kitcheners who disapprove of dogs on human beds but this is one of our favourites. Ok I must get up. The dogs are joining me and our dog group on a sponsored walk around a reservoir. We are to be joined by a person from the Budhist Centre, where our dog trainer meditates. We are fund raising for the centre, I fear being seduced into joining. Have good days everyone x

We have just had my nephew and his wife for an impromptu visit with their six-this-month grandson. He lives with his grandparents as his parental background is very unsettled, and they are doing an excellent job with him. The first thing he asks is if he can "have some toys down" so we had Playmobil all over the conservatory and I had fun with it all over again like I did with GS, who has outgrown it. They grow up too quickly - there's a bit of me that never grew up at all!
We are now off for a walk before the weather breaks. It is looking "a bit black over Bill's mother's"!

Well obviously you spend your energy wisely Iam . I don't have Sam on my bed often ( but that is because he snores louder than Grampy! But he does have a blanket on my sofa and sits with me to watch his selected TV programmes( anything without animals in as he has a habit of leaping off unexpectedly to search for elephants behind the TV set!!)

If we don't hear from you again we know you have thrown off your worldly shackles and have shaved your head and are wandering round in yellow robes !!

Sounds like a lovely visit Grey . We too are often asked to have some toys down !! When we move though, some of the youngest stuff will be heading to pre school but we shall take the Hot Wheels, Lego and Happy Town ( Grampy likes them !!). Hats off to your nephew and his wife, I'm not sure how we would cope with a young child permanently. Needs must of course.

I could kick myself for not keeping the children's toys but we had no storage space in the last house so the Lego, Duplo, Playmobil, Big Yellow Teapot (sob!) and worst of all , boxes of Ladybird reading books ALL WENT to a good cause

My children never wanted to visit my parents as they had no toys for them to play with. Their other grandparents had Bayko [sp][which would never pass health and safety now!] and stuff like that so they always loved going there. So I resolved to keep everything [and, by that I mean EVERYTHING]. One day I'll post a few photos of my house and you'll see that it isn't perhaps, a very good idea#can'tmoveforstuff

I know what you men Maw , I gave away my girls Lego too . Had to bite the bullet and buy more when the grandkids came along.

Our other grandparents are like your parents Tegan , but we went along the same route as my mum and dad as we had space. Everything from a cot and high chair to nappies and toys .It meant we could have spur of the moment sleepovers which they loved.

Even now they all have their own cutlery, a plate, cup and bowl each. Our house is just an extension of theirs which I love .

I still have a box of Lego but the GC rarely visit because they all have so much going on at weekends. Should I keep the Lego in case I have GGC? Probably not. I think a charity shop would find it all a good home. Goodness knows what might be in the loft. I never go up there. Ladders scare me!

Our little visitor always makes a beeline for the Playmobile but that's because he hasn't yet discovered the Action Men and complete QM Stores of kit and caboodle! . I suspect once that happens we'll never get him to go home; he was already discussing a date for his next visit as he went out the door! The reason we still have all this stuff is that every time I broach the subject of disposal with GS he humms and aahs and then says 'not yet'. So until he says yes it stays, even though he takes no notice of it whatsoever and I could do with the space.

Then you have done well Obi wanGrey - success can always be measured by enthusiasm to return !

I have just had a call from young Jackson who is at Brands Hatch ( his spiritual home obviously) to debate the merits of buying a Maserati or a Mustang. He was looking for a donation I think - luckily we were talking about scale models not the real thing !!

Make him jealous N&G, SIL has a Maserati.
I have once been a passenger in it and it was blimmin hard to get in and out of!!