Regular grandchild-minding

I look after my 2 grand daughters for 10/11 hours a day, five days a week, Eldest one is five, baby, 15 months, DD is a secondary school teacher and she drops them off inthe morning. I dress them, give them breakfast, walk to school, then have little one all day, pick eldest up at 3.20 and then they are picked up between 5 and 6, depending on Dd school day ( meetings, marking, after school work) I do get some of the school holidays off but usually have them 2 days a week during them as Dd has lessons to plan, essays to mark(often hundreds of them). I have done this since eldest was nine months. She had one and half days at nursery at three years old, then a year later no two came along. Had them both when mum went back to work from maternity. I have a lovely close relationship with them but boy am i tired by the time they go home! Wish i was younger and fitter( i am 61)

mirryben Your DD is very lucky to have you to take over the parenting of her children . What I don`t get is you also having them in the school holidays !! I was married to a teacher and he certainly didn`t spend two days a week during the holidays preparing lessons etc . You must be exhausted .

My daughter works at an academy. They do not seem to care that teachers have families. She works a ten hour day and then an hour and so after children are in bed. In the holidays she has lesson planning to do, plus marking homework, exam work and coursework. I think it is the same for many teachers these days.

Why doesn't Jackypat comment on the members post.

We must all have raised children that cant manage or do we just pander to them ? we seem to give up our own lives so our snowflakes dont feel a second of stress and we make sure they get to work on time after having goodnights sleep and in some cases we pay their mortgages for them. When on earth are these adults going to grow up ? how on earth do the cope with a crisis without Mummy and Daddy to hold their hands ?
Jackypat it is ok to say NO, your DD made a choice,did she ask you before getting pregnant if you would provide childcare? no, i bet not. Help in an emergency of course but by the very fact you have asked here for advice means speaks volumes. You are entitled to your retirment.

grannypiper\ I do agree with you , we do seem to have brought up a generation who expect so much from aging parents . My X dil once complained about her own Mum who would not do childcare for all her grandchildren saying "If I was sat at home doing nothing I would look after my GC " This lady was 70 !
I have offered 1 day a week when my DIL goes back to work but was not expected to offer , it is all I can manage physically and I want to do my own thing now I am retired .

But 70 isn't as old as it used to be!

Anya 70 is 70, bones dont read the media hype, hurt is still hurt, ache is still ache no matter what.

I'm 70 GP and I don't recognise the stereotype you paint.

It's first hand experience I go by, not media-hype, as my brain cells are working very well too and I learned at an early age not to 'believe everything you read in the papers' .

Well I am 67 and until I had back surgery 3 years ago I was as energetic as a fit 40 year old. We regularly hiked the challenging stretches of the coastal paths of the southwest. I am much better, but have to mind the back. I won't go on a path with a huge drop-off as I don't have that confidence now.

In fact I am currently having a spasm episode since yesterday and cannot bend down even to put food in the dog's dish! I could not pick up my DGD and put her into her cot if she was here for the day. DH would have to do it.

I just have to see this episode through and fingers-crossed all will be OK by Monday which is our regular day with DGD. Felt like a fool walking to my haircut appt using a x-country ski pole (as I used to have to do) to keep balance and my confidence!

Just keep in mind, stuff happens when you least expect it and for absolutely no reason you can come up with from your healthy life style and physical fitness.

I wish all GNers who are feeling fit and younger for their age to enjoy their fitness for many years to come!

"We must all have raised children that cant manage or do we just pander to them ?"

Well, I certainly haven't. My two sons are more likely to try to manage me nowadays! They have managed their own and their children's lives very satisfactorily and have never had to lean on me or my ex, apart from a couple of loans I made and they repaid every penny. They and their OHs are home-owners and good careers. Their children are sociable and well balanced - very much their own people!

Anya i am glad you have no aches.

Thank you GP that's kind of you. I accept that some are unfortunate and do have disabling health issues at an early age.

My point is that in this day and age 70 is not seen as any great age. Indeed my son and daughter can expect to work until 68 (at least) before being entitled to a state pension.

The OP does not seem to be watching this thread - at least she has not commented at all.

I think Anya makes good point on the age that our children will be entitled to a state pension.... Maybe that is what keeps us Grans feeling young! I think there is something about receiving a pension that can be quite ageing....if you're not going to get it until your late 60's then you're not 'old' until then....??

I am 65 years old and have been going through my exercise routine with my 7-year-old GD on her crash mat this evening.... her abs look so much better than mine - but she was full of praise at my efforts ... bless her ??

I look after various combinations of grandchildren on various days – sometimes just a little one until the older children have finished school for the day, other times all six during the school holidays. I do feel tired, even exhausted by the time Friday comes and have sometimes thought to myself that this is not the reason I moved halfway round the world.

However, everything has changed and is changing slightly. The two eldest now travel back and forth to college by school bus, thus bypassing me completely. The next-to-last grandchild will be five at the end of next month and, therefore, starting school in April, so we shall no longer have our Wednesdays together. I find that I am starting to feel slightly bereft and at a bit of a loss. No doubt, when the Easter holidays come along, I shall, once again, be fully occupied and the youngest will still be spending two days a week with me.

I know that feeling well absent. My youngest GC started school in September 2015?and I miss her so much. The End of an Era.

I still do the school runs both ends of the days but, as is only natural, they have their own hobbies and interests, and are growing up fast (10, 7, 6 & 5) and our relationship is changing. I'm finding I have to adapt my style of grandparenting and also accept that while I'm an important person in their lives, I'm not an important part of their lives.

Does that make sense?

Thinking on absent it isn't so much the physical effort, it's the 'various combination of grandchildren on various days' that shows my age.

I swear one day I'm going to drop the wrong grandchild at the wrong school on the wrong day or fail to pick up one of them on another, keeping in mind after-school clubs, booster classes and parents' work patterns.

So far (fingers crossed emoticon) I've only had the one phone call from a school saying 'No ones come to pick xxxx up yet' ???

Look after grandson one night and one day, he is nearly six months. Each time the following day when I enquire how he has been since we took him back, get a negative response from DIL and feel it is something to do with how we have looked after him. Am new to this so don't know if I am being paranoid.

Dukey , I would just not ask so she doesn`t get the opportunity to give a negative response ! You could also just ask her if she is happy with you looking after him , it must be a big help to her to get a break once a week ?