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Live over 225 miles away from family

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ASHANTY Tue 28-Jul-26 22:27:42

My 1st grandchild was born 15 months ago & another is due in 2 months.
I’ve only seen my grandson & family once since Xmas (I visited them) but my husband hasn’t seen them since Xmas. They’ve not attempted to travel up to see us.
My son & DIL have asked me & my husband to be there to help with our grandson when they’re in labour. We’d thought we’d be staying with them but have been told to find & pay for other accommodation, despite we’ll have been driving for about 5 hours to get there. My husband is also recovering from a hip replacement so we’ve been quite stressed about the journey anyway.
My son phoned to say that we’ll get under each other’s feet if we stay with them (they have a spare room) but I’m not sure how to feel. I’m pretty disappointed that he asked us to help them out but not in their home.
Any advice how to handle this situation?

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theworriedwell Tue 28-Jul-26 22:50:38

I think if you can afford it then it's a great idea. Go back to hotel and have a good night's sleep. If your husband's recovering from surgery he might be glad of disappearing to have a bit of quiet time.

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Allsorts Tue 28-Jul-26 22:56:23

I would be disappointed it's very thoughtess of them but still go and help out if you can afford it. However I would consider it a one off.

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lovethepuppies Tue 28-Jul-26 22:58:25

You need to think about whether you are available for this at all. If your husband is recovering, is he up to that drive? It seems pretty rude to ask this of you and not allow you to stay with them for the short time needed. It's up to you if you can and want to do this but you don't have to. Just give them plenty of notice if you can't, so they can make other arrangements. You can also make your help conditional on being given a place to stay for a couple of nights. "I want your help and these are the terms of giving it" doesn't sit right with me. It seems like there should be room for accommodating you while you do them the favour.

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Rosie51 Tue 28-Jul-26 23:29:55

Is the birth a planned C-section? Otherwise how do you know when to book the hotel? Will they phone the minute she goes into labour, which might only last for a very few hours with a second baby, so what guarantee is there you'll get there in time, or that a nearby hotel will have a room available? If they'd rather you didn't stay in their spare room they should at the very least pick up the hotel bill themselves. I think they're being very cheeky!

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nanna8 Tue 28-Jul-26 23:43:22

Families ! I would offer to have him down where you live or not at all. They could drop him off to you, not that far when you are young ( certainly not by my standards over here !)

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