Baby blanket

I wouldn’t ask for the blanket back, which would seem too pointed to me. Surely a blanket isn’t worth risking your relationship with your son and his family. I can see how disappointing this is after all the work you put in but perhaps best to move on.

I don't think a lot of the young people today 'get it' about the passing down of hand crafted things from generation to generation. I would just leave it. If your DIL in autistic, she may become even more defensive which does not bode well for the future. Why not knit another blanket and just give it to the girl who seems to appreciate such things. I am sure she will use it and treasure it. Family do not always step up to the mark one would like so share you gifts with someone who will. I make huge five foot blankets for people in the Ukraine. I have not idea who they go to but do know from photos that the pensioners who get them love them.

My lovely mil once bought my 18 mth old dtr an outfit that was more suited to 60yr old woman. She was a proud Scot and from an expensive shop in Pitlochry she bought a dull sage coloured pinafore dress in a muted tartan and a white blouse with a fussy lace frill at the front and sleeves. It was totally impractical. I put my dtr in it on one occasion when my MIL visited because it was meant kindly but within a couple of minutes little fingers got caught in the lace which got in the way of her hands. She never wore it again but I always felt guilty.
That did not stop me from making a similar mistake with my own g’dtrs, buying clothes I liked for them but which were sometimes not suitable.
Ah well, life is full of challenges.

Of course you shouldn’t ask for the blanket back. I can hardly believe you’re even considering doing so.

I crochet and if I’m planning to make a blanket for a new baby I always ask the new parent whether they’d like one (sometimes they say no because they prefer the fleece ones which are so light and easy to wash) and if so, I make a point of asking about preferred colour and style. And I very rarely get asked for white or the traditionally lacy type. Ideas have moved on unfortunately.

The recommendation nowasays is to put the baby down the basket/cot with their feet near the bottom so that they can't wriggle down any further. None of those pods with passed edges are recommended nor those lambskins that were so popular. No tilting of the cot/bed as used to be recommended id a baby has a sturdy nose either

According to the lullaby trust, the cot death charity, blankets are ok if needed, as long as they are lightweight and well tucked in
It's duvets that shouldn't be used for babies
www.lullabytrust.org.uk/baby-safety/baby-product-information/mattresses-and-bedding/

I would say, 'Now GS is 10 months, please could I borrow the blanket for a friend, who has been looking for one?'

My mother knitted a whole layette for our first baby. It was beautiful but totally unsuitable as fiddly to dress and undress and not washing machine friendly. This was 1971. Fortunately a friend's wife had more traditional ideas so she got the lot.

Lovetopaint037

When I was about 12 my aunty was having a baby. I got some torquoise wool and set about knitting a blanket. I knitted in garter stitch so as plain as possible. When finished my mother edged it with a wide pink ribbon. My aunty used it on her pram and later on the push chair. I couldn’t believe how much use it had.

When I was pregnant with my first child, my younger sister made me a pram blanket for my baby... it was chunky cotton yarn in bright yellow and she knitted garter stitch only, her tension was a bit tight at times, you could hear the needles squeak as she was knitting. It was actually so soft and warm, I used it for ages, I still have it tucked away, my first baby is 43 and my sister knits lovely things, mainly dolls now.

Like so many others I too knitted baby blankets and poured so much love into each stitch that I could have washed them with tears of emotion.
Like so many others I never saw any of them being used which made me very sad. BUT I know they are cherished and although not used (for probably very valid reasons) they are part of baby’s precious early days.
I have received gifts that I wouldn’t wear in a million years but neither would I ever part with them because I know what time and effort and love went into the choosing, buying and giving.

Just found this on Pinterest. Exactly this.

www.google.com/gasearch?q=baby%20nest%201980&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5#vhid=OnFsbaIGEOLl-M&vssid=_9NTOaO7-FsSGhbIPk8euoAY_27

Allira

Primrose53

Applegran I remember in the 80s Mothercare did quilted sleeping bags for babies. My son had one in turquoise/white gingham. He was a good size newborn at 8lbs but I would not have felt safe putting a tiny baby in it - my daughter was just 4lb. I am pretty sure there were some fatalities from these sleeping bags.

The sleeping bags had sleeves, like a quilted coat but the bottom was a bag so they couldn't slip down in them but could wriggle their legs.
My DD slept in one.

The NHS recommends them:
Baby sleeping bags can help to reduce the risk of SIDS, as they prevent babies from wriggling underneath their bedding.

Just make sure it fits well around the shoulders so there's no risk of your baby's head slipping down into the bag.

Sleeping bags are usually given a tog rating according to the warmth they provide – make sure your baby is in the right bag for the time of year.

Depending on the room temperature and the tog, you can adjust your baby's clothing as necessary. There should be no other bedding.

Best Start in Life
NHS

That’s not what ours was like. They were really popular and all my friends having babies around the same time bought one. 1980ish.

Thinking about it I believe it was called a baby nest. It did not have sleeves. You just unzipped it down one side and across bottom, put baby in and zipped up again. It covered the head but obviously left the face part open. It was white inside and gingham on the outside and was nicely padded.

My MIL spent £150 on clothes for my son and DILs baby, her 1st gt grandchild. They sent it all to a charity shop because she removed all the shop tickets and they thought it was 2nd hand. MIL thought it was right to remove the price/ shop tickets. We bought lots of clothes for the grandchildren but never saw them wear it. DIL would buy the same trousers, shirts tshirts etc but in a different colour- same make style etc. After the 2nd time it happened we haven't ever bought anything again apart from Xmas and birthday toys and sweets. DIL obviously didn't want anyone to buy her children's clothes.

Primrose53

Applegran I remember in the 80s Mothercare did quilted sleeping bags for babies. My son had one in turquoise/white gingham. He was a good size newborn at 8lbs but I would not have felt safe putting a tiny baby in it - my daughter was just 4lb. I am pretty sure there were some fatalities from these sleeping bags.

The sleeping bags had sleeves, like a quilted coat but the bottom was a bag so they couldn't slip down in them but could wriggle their legs.
My DD slept in one.

The NHS recommends them:
Baby sleeping bags can help to reduce the risk of SIDS, as they prevent babies from wriggling underneath their bedding.

Just make sure it fits well around the shoulders so there's no risk of your baby's head slipping down into the bag.

Sleeping bags are usually given a tog rating according to the warmth they provide – make sure your baby is in the right bag for the time of year.

Depending on the room temperature and the tog, you can adjust your baby's clothing as necessary. There should be no other bedding.

Best Start in Life
NHS

It depends really on how you get on with your daughter-in-law.

From your description, I think it might well cause offence if you ask for the blanket back.

If you decide to do so, say something along the lines of
"I realise it was silly of me to knit such and old-fashioned baby blanket for N - it just isn't your style of thing, is it?

What can I give you instead that you would like?

If you are not going to use the blanket, I know a young woman who really wants one like it, but I honestly don't feel up to knitting her one. Could we do a swap?"

Put this way, it is your fault the blanket isn't in use, not the child's parents.

Modern thinking is that babies should not be wrapped in lacy blankets because they can get fingers caught in the holes which can contribute to suffocation or strangulation. Maybe your daughter in law has heard this and as an autistic person is not willing to take the chance. Makes you wonder how babies survived lacy blankets for all those years though.

As for asking for it back try asking your son first, but try not to feel hurt over this, we never know what makes some people feel the way they do and usually it's not personal.

Applegran I remember in the 80s Mothercare did quilted sleeping bags for babies. My son had one in turquoise/white gingham. He was a good size newborn at 8lbs but I would not have felt safe putting a tiny baby in it - my daughter was just 4lb. I am pretty sure there were some fatalities from these sleeping bags.

I would definitely not ask for the blanket back, they may not have used it for whatever reason but asking for it's return could result in all sorts of ill feelings, best to avoid any family upset.

I am sorry you have been hurt but agree with others that it is not appropriate to ask for the blanket back. But I want to add something which may be important if anyone is buying for a baby. I read the other day that there are dangerous sleep sacks/sleeping bags on sale for babies and if you are buying one of these make sure it has arms - that prevents the baby slipping down into the bag and having difficulty breathing.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable. My daughter both had special blankets when they were born and christened in and they still have them - just ask and say you understand it might not be their choice and if they are not going to use it would they mind if you gave it to someone else as you put so much work into it

I make crochet blankets for babies in my family. I always tell the parents that they are to fling on the floor for the baby to lay on when playing, I totally understood that the mum would want their choice of covering for prams/pushchairs. Some of them became favourites with the child as they grew older and were their 'blankies'.

How about saying you are thinking of knitting another one for a friend, but can’t quite remember what pattern you used, so could you have a look at the blanket “….if you still have it?” If they look shifty and say they’re not sure where it is, you know it’s gone to charity. If they do produce it, then you could just ask them light heartedly if they ever use it and would they mind if you had it back?

My DIL also has fixed ideas. When she was expecting our first grandchild I crocheted a christening shawl which everyone said was simply beautiful. However, DIL never used it because it was white! She preferred cream coloured clothes for her daughter. I was given the shawl back, unused, when she eventually cleared out all the baby clothes.

My daughter has been an absolute star at accepting and using things I've made (badly) or bought for her children.
She's very good at remembering who gave things so she dresses the children in them when they visit.
It's a nice trait and I love her for it

Yeah I'd be furious . .it takes concentrating to a whole other. meaning .. Ask for it back ... just say I dont want to knit another blanket but So and So wants one for her Baby ...