Competitive gran? 4yr old torn/coerced

I'm still not sure why you're staying there.
It's kind of them to invite you but, if they read this, it would probably be the last time you get an invite.

Sorry if that does sound harsh but this is all rather strange.

Well TBF mrsbirdy we can only respond to what we've been told so if you didn't explain the situation clearly that's not our fault.

You didn't come across as feeling anxious, vulnerable and embarrassed if you had maybe the responses would have been different but for me, my advice to encourage your GD to include her other GP's in activities would have been the same.

crazyH

How kind of the other GM to invite you.
I think the title of your post is rather provoking - the word ‘coerced’ is so unnecessary.

I'm a bit troubled by the use of the word "coerc'd" which can have nasty connotations, usually for adult behaviour. .
I fail to see , in this situation , how anybody is coercing anybody else.
Surely this is about a very small child deciding that one person is "flavour of the month" as children do.
The other grandparents seem to be trying to engage with her. If they didn't they'd probably be accused of not being interested enough in the child.
I agree with the many wise comments about ways that you could get yourself out of the way and let the other Grandparents " have a go" so to speak.

Poor kid.

Do you do stand-up.

Interesting responses including a reprimand for not following up a previous post. Apologies to those that decided it necessary to take a harsh response I did not have time to clearly explain the situation fully. Perhaps it was because I was stupidly feeling anxious, vulnerable and embarrassed. I will certainly think twice before posting again so thanks for helping me learn what to share in future.

Come back please mrsbirdy?

You posted regarding your reluctance to relocate in September last year.

You received lots of good advice but didn’t have the courtesy to respond.

I feel this thread is going the same way.

I have no words😱

I have a very close relationship with my GD but when other GPs are there I leave them to it, they live some distance away so am happy to give them as much quality time as they need and wait my turn. My daughter says my GD doesn’t have as close a relationship with them but I assure her that will change as she grows older and can go and stay with them, and I really hope that happens because she needs a good relationship with both sets of GPs.
I think you are secretly glad that you are the favourite but that isn’t good for your GD, I would encourage her to get along with them by absenting myself or suggesting to my GD that her other granny is really good at telling stories as well etc.
And get up for breakfast, chivvying your GD along to go down for breakfast with you.

Norah

Not clear to me why you are with other GP during their time with their granddaughter? Perhaps decline any further invitations?

Me neither.

Grand - parenting isn’t a competition, it’s a privilege and scoring points off another one isn’t an attractive trait.

Do encourage the GC to involve other GP with your activities together, she is only young and very impressionable, how she is nurtured now will influence how she matures

What would be a nice thing for you to do would be to involve the other GM in games with your GD. Say to your GD let’s ask Grandma xx to play this game with us, she’s looking a little bit lonely. If you can get the other GM to join in it might teach her to be a bit more child centred and then perhaps she will find it easier to interact with your GD. I understand that you might feel a bit jealous of the other GM, even if you don’t admit it even to yourself, but don’t be. Your GD loves you and nothing is going to change that but you will be doing her a favour if you encourage her to spread her love a bit further.

Sorry but I do not like your post.I do not like your attitude towards your daughter's in-laws.

How kind of the other GM to invite you.
I think the title of your post is rather provoking - the word ‘coerced’ is so unnecessary.

Not clear to me why you are with other GP during their time with their granddaughter? Perhaps decline any further invitations?

Kids do have their favourites - it can all change in a few months so don't be smug about it - agree with others - just tell her to go downstairs as its breakfast time.

Surely, it is only manners to eat meals at the time it suits your host to make them?
Absolutely!

Or if for some health reason you cannot get up early, sent your grand-daughter down to the other adults, or get one of them to fetch her.
Yes, easy enough to say that you need another half hour's snooze or were going to have a shower.

You could solve the immediate problem, but getting up at the same time as the other grandmother.

Surely, it is only manners to eat meals at the time it suits your host to make them?

Or if for some health reason you cannot get up early, sent your grand-daughter down to the other adults, or get one of them to fetch her.

My advice is to encourage our GD to play with and have stories read by her other GP's. TBH you don't come across as embarrassed more like you're enjoying being your GD's centre of attention.

Sounds to me like someone who protesteth too much.
Are you sure you’re not enjoying this?
If I were the other gran I wouldn’t be inviting you back!

The others may be less conscious of it than you are.

And what does this title mean please?
Competitive gran? 4yr old torn/coerced

Very strange.

I think your DIL's parents are very kind to invite you to stay, hope they don't know you're posting about them in this way on Gransnet. Are you sure other Gran is not a member? Thst could prove embarrassing.

Maybe take yourself out shopping/lunch for the day, you're obviously the distraction and they'd all probably appreciate your thoughtfulness

I would tell her you're busy,
"Why not ask xyz"
As someone said upthread you have to back off a bit here as you are in someone else's home.

And what does this title mean please?
Competitive gran? 4yr old torn/coerced