Grandchild hits me and excludes me

Distract the child with a craft or toy get them outside into the garden , it's horrid but they will grow out of it.

Discuss this with the child's parents. It is a phase, but in my opinion no child should be allowed to hit or scratch. A three year old is perfectly well able to understand "that hurts!" said by you when he or she deliberately hits or scratches you.

I myself would allow a child not to hug or kiss good-bye or good day, but it is the parents' decision, not yours or mine. All you can do, when the little one says, "don't want to kiss" or whatever she says is to smile at the parent and say, "It's just a phase, it will pass quickly, if we don't force the issue."

I agree that it's a phase many 3/4 yr olds go through. I give my grandchildren a choice of a wave, a fist bump, a high five, a cuddle or a kiss when saying goodbye. I think it helps when it's their choice.

I think his behaviour links to his knowledge that if you are there then he will not be spending time with his mum; he equates your presence with his mums absence/lack of involvement with him even if she is around. A few suggestions:

1. Taking new bits and bob's to do with him ...even better if making things to help Mummy
2. Cooking with him to make nice things for Mummy
3. On arrival get something out and start playing with it ...dont comment. Pretty certain his curiosity will take over!
4. When out ...getting something small to give Mummy when get home ...small choc bar or small bunch flowers or other favourite food
5. Saying goodbye ...just wave and say goodbye and go. Suggest to parents if can that maybe he is refusing to say goodbye just now as taking insecurities out on you or as knows refusing will get him Mummys attention ( even if negative)

Not sure what instigate hitting you etc when out .. without knowing that difficult to suggest reaction.

Good luck 💐

Why are you accepting this behaviour from a three year old??
Speak to his parents about this to ask why? If they give no reasonable explanation then you must sort this issue out for yourself with kindness and love of course. Sit down with your grandchild and talk to him in a peaceful moment. Otherwise you may have to stop having him on your own until parent do the right thing. If they can be bothered that is?

Ignore it, it will pass. Just acknowledge you/they are going, give a wave, blow a kiss if you're inclined. Smile with a see you soon and go.

Some small children can be disconcertingly aggressive - probably best to say 'no, Deidre, that hurts Grannie!' and deal with the behaviour that way.

I don't agree with enforced kissing - reminds me of a family story when my
brother, who was very shy with strangers, said 'I don't live here!' Very firmly when a visiting auntie was going round the room kissing every child in it goodbye!

Whilst I would never advocate forcing a child to kiss a relative, I think they most definitely should be told the aggression and shouting is unacceptable. We’re a very demonstrative and affectionate family, kisses and hugs are par for the course here, but if a younger member of the family didn’t want to take part we’d obviously suggest a high five or something. However we wouldn’t ever accept bad behaviour or aggression - what’s that teaching them??

My granddaughter [who's lovely now] had a terrible temper when she was little. She was fine with me, though but used to get very angry with her parents when they got home.

Get down to the child's level and say in a stern voice .dont do that i dont like it and it hurts.....then distract the child with something else ...harsh maybe but it works

A bit of insecurity for this very young child, who will no doubt pick up on things not being quite right with mummy. Should not be made to kiss or even forced to say goodbye at this age, this isn’t personal to grandma it is a reaction to circumstances beyond the child’s control, so behaviour is the only way to express unhappiness as they won’t be able to articulate it. Stay calm and loving , you will be much needed in this child’s life . Remember you are the adult ( I’m sure you do !) Especially telling us that this is when mum is around . Child needs quiet explanation that hitting is not acceptable though.

Cronesrule

Try not to worry Tomba. My DD (now25) used to kick my Mum, her Grandma, at that age and a bit older. I was upset and embarrassed at the time. She grew out of it and loved her Grandma very much.

Exactly the same experience here. My DGD went through a stage of being horrible to her Spanish grandmother when a toddler but was lovely to me when we visited. (They live in Spain.). Lasted a few months and she is very close to her now.