Son and family have moved

I guess you all talked about it before the move and the changes that you all will have to get used to? The reality turns out different for lots of reasons. You must be bereft. Is there any way that you can move nearer? It depends I guess if you have other things to prevent you from doing so. What may be the right move for them may not be the same for you.
You will get used to it I’m sure, and the time you do spend together will be even more special. Take care xx

It will get much easier it’s just an adjustment Hard I know, I really do, but they have obviously made the move for the better and are happy and well and that’s all that counts We only have limited time with grandkids and yours aren’t that far away and it’s ok and natural to feel sad but that will dissipate as time goes by It won’t always feel as raw

I find we actually spend more time with family who live 150 miles away than the family who live a ten minute walk away. We see the local ones more frequently but the distant ones we see every 6 weeks or so for several days at a time. You do eventually get used to it but it is tough to start with particularly with the lockdowns.

Thankyou both. I know it will dissipate, I know they not that far away...Common sense tells me all those things and more ...I just wish I could stop being sad and weepy and get on with things! I think its also impacted by lockdown lethargy and all that too! It does feel bereft as the weekly care was such a happy routine but I know that as they were growing it was going to change anyway. Ah well, there it is, have to get over myself eventually!

to you. I know how difficult it is to be a distance granny. Facetime/zoom will be very helpful, maybe you can arrange a set time for a visit so you can keep up to date with their happenings.

It's early days but must feel strange and sad. Was it quite sudden?
You will have to find a new routine to fill your days and plan to visit the family as soon as you can.. Any change is hard at first. I hope it works out well.

Of course you feel sad, it's such a wrench. I feel sad for you. Hopefully, before too long you will be able to visit your family. When I was 2.5 hour's away from my family, visits were so exciting, both for me and for the family, especially the grandchildren. It was lovely staying with them for several days at a time sharing everyday life. Ten years ago I moved to be closer to them. Now I am only 17 miles away. This raw pain will ease given time. They are well and happy. In the end that means every thing. Enjoy your phone calls /messages, letters and parcels. And eventually a first visit. Thinking of you warmly.

I suppose its the drastic change to a happy routine that is really what has hit me. As they grow up they wold be getting involved in others things anyway, but the weekly meet ups meant that we had a particularly special time. We wont be moving nearer, for various reasons so just have to get used to things being different. And stop being pathetically weepy!

Our DS and GD have just spent a few days with us over half term. They live about 5 hours away.

It would be nice to be nearer and to see them more often, but we would do different things with them which actually might not be better. As it was we had a lovely time spending each day doing things together, visiting places, making things, reading bedtime stories.

If you are able to visit your family, or have them visit you, in a similar way you may find there's a lot of pleasure to be had. It's certainly different, but not all bad.

No you are right, it isn't bad at all, just different. Change is inevitable but I wish I could stop missing them so much. As I said I just need to get over myself really!

Give it time, it is hard to change what you are used to

I'm confused. Is curlyclarkia and Madgran77 one and the same poster or do 2 posters have the same problem?

No it is me being particularly mad!!! Exactly the same has happened to me in last few weeks with son and family moving about 3 hours away. I also looked after my grandchildren weekly and am missing them dreadfully ..read the post and it certainly touched a nerve. I then replied as if people were talking to me omitting to say that I was referring to my own situation and very rudely not acknowledging the OPs sadness! I really do need to get a grip don't I!! It is very unlike me!

...and apologies curlyclarkia PM me if you want to chat about our similar situations!

Ah! It takes very little to sew the seeds of bafflement and confusion in me these days*Madgran*, so thanks for clarifying. The position that both you and curlyclarkia are in is very difficult and I'm sorry your both upset. Thing is; we kind of slowly adjust our lives around them don't we? School drop offs and pick ups, back for tea and listening to them practice their reading books etc. And over time, strong and loving bonds are forged that leave a gaping hole when they move away. But they'll be missing you every bit as much as you're missing them. You'll find a way to keep those bonds, even if it means hitting the motorway every few weeks.

You have been a supportive mum and gran. Try to find any local groups you could join in your local area. This will fill the extra time you have now. Catch up with friends you might not have seen for a while.
You could research transportation routes unless you drive. When you do visit your family you will be familiar with the journey. Pamper yourself you deserve it.

we kind of slowly adjust our lives around them don't we? School drop offs and pick ups, back for tea and listening to them practice their reading books etc. And over time, strong and loving bonds are forged that leave a gaping hole when they move away. But they'll be missing you every bit as much as you're missing them. You'll find a way to keep those bonds, even if it means hitting the motorway every few weeks. flowers

Spot on Chewbacca!

Yes it’s difficult for you, but mine left three weeks ago for New Zealand. You’re lucky it’s only two and a half hours away and still in the same country.

I’m sorry, that sounds a bit harsh, but you should look on the bright side, you’ll be seeing them again very soon. I don’t know when we’ll see ours again.

It is hard when they are so far away, maddyone and, with Covid still around, even if we wanted to make the journey, we couldn't.

maddyone Yes that is hard for you. I am just expressing my sadness, sometimes one just has to feel something and then move on, I know that.

I sympathise with you, so far away and with Covid so inaccessible.

Have you all tried video calling? Skype or Microsoft teams or Zoom or facetime? I know it isn't the same but it really does make a difference to see how your loved ones are physically to see them happy and smiling to see inside their home and know they are ok is really quite reassuring

It is hard though living away from family xx Just be kind to yourself

Such a big adjustment for you. I hope that you slot into a new routine soon.

How wonderful that you were able to help them out for so long.

I can only imagine how you must feel. I'm sure as time passes it will get easier. They'll be lots of opportunities to visit and those times will be wonderful. Wish you all the best.