Should we ignore it

Is the grandmother actually your mother?
Anyway if I was you I would tell whoever that (g) daughters choices in life are her own, weight included and if she values granddaughters company to stop pestering!!
Why can’t people leave well alone?

Firstly well done to your daughter who has lost a substantial amount of weight post baby. Her grandmother if she mentions weight at all ( and really she should not) should just give her general support and encouragement. Not advice. Slimming world is there to do that.
As your daughter is an adult it’s up to her to say this to her gran.
My mum used to suggest I lost weight, which didn’t help one bit
Your MiL should keep quiet.

Thank you for your reply, it’s my husbands mother, I don’t know either why people can’t leave things alone

Thanks silverlining, my daughter has tried to tell her grandmother, I think she’s hinted more than anything that she doesn’t need her help.
My hubby has actually asked her to stop this 2 or 3 times now, it stops for a while then starts again.
I agree too, she should keep quiet but she won’t. ☹️

Give your daughter some pointers for dealing with Grandma or perhaps she can ask for a few from her fellow slimmers at SW. I’m sure some will have had similar negative conversations and could help with strategies or even verbal put downs.

Incidentally well done your DD ??

I'm always astounded when people assume that overweight people don't know they're overweight. My DD was very overweight some years ago and my DH told me to 'tell her' as if she didn't know. She was unhappy enough without me wading in. She subsequently lost 4 stone, by hersellf without slimming clubs etc. It sounds to me as if your DD is doing really well. MIL should butt out.

Perhaps there’s something your daughter can enquire about.

Grandma: “Have you lost any more of that weight yet?”

Daughter: “Yes thank you. Have you thought about botox for all those wrinkles?”

Then she could send a flyer from the nearest clinic?

My Mother is exactly the same, she is totally obsessed by other peoples weight and absolutely can not keep her comments to herself. A comment about their weight is always the first thing she says when meeting up with people we haven't seen for a while. Its not as though she's slim herself - she's always been very overweight.
It makes me absolutely furious and I'm always telling her off about it.
My Sister-in-law (who is very overweight) will barely speak to her anymore.

Eglantine21 love it!

Or perhaps even ask her if she has considered asking for a refund from the charm school?

My mother in law was the same, blunt to the point of extreme rudeness. In the end, we just used to laugh at the dreadful things she said at times, she had a kind heart really, I just don’t think she realised how awful she could be

I'm more prone to remark how thin someone is. I don't like 'skinnies'. At one time my daughter was rather 'chubby'. I had no problem with it. But the rest of the family were constantly sniggering about it. She has now gone the other way, lost a lot of weight and frankly I think she looks 'gaunt'. But everyone thinks she looks great. Can't win......

Thank you everyone for your advice

Well done to your daughter! Maybe you should step in and ask her not to keep asking as it is upsetting for all concerned. I had a fabulous 1st mother in law, sadly the one I have right now could be nicer. We cannot choose our relatives like we choose friends.

I wouldn’t dream of saying that to my granddaughter, I’d be mortified if I thought it could upset her, but I suppose my mil type are all cut from the same cloth (insensitive)

Has she tried
“Did you mean to sound so rude?”

I'd suggest you should say nothing, simply because your daughter is an adult. That said, I do agree that you could give her some pointers.

"I feel...when you..." is a good way to start. She can also tell her grandmother that if Granny won't drop the subject, the conversation is over - and then follow through on it.

Speaking as someone who has been classed by others as 'overweight' (over what weight? Both my grandmothers were 25+ stone and hard-working and active. One a farmer's wife who ran the farm with her husband AND ran a farm cafe, catering to crowds every weekend).
So, what chance did I stand of being willowy?

But thanks to endless criticism from family and "friends" I twice dieted myself into hospital, suffering from malnutrition - and was still 17 stone!

And all that impelled me to start the 10 years of research, working with some of the world's obesity experts, and which resulted in two published books, talks and radio/TV interviews.
The forewords to both books, by professors in the field, confirmed all my findings. Dieting, far from being healthy, is dangerous and rarely works permanently.

I would beg you to encourage your daughter to simply eat healthily and keep active (how can she help it with a baby to look after?) and ignore any criticism....for her own mental and physical well-being.

Your daughter may be in the 1% who actually keep weight off but if she has been "overweight" all her life, it's doubtful. But that doesn't mean she cannot be a wonderful and precious mother, daughter and anything else she aspires to.

And please, stop assuming she 'needs to lose another 3 stone' - by whose reckoning? Some diet company?
They fail 98% of the time - no other industry in the world is allowed to fail at what they do - but 'failure' to a diet company, is a hugely profitable success because they know full well their 'failure' will come back, ashamed and desperate to toe the line.

Oh, it makes me want to weep, the waste of so many wonderful women whose minds have been turned to self-loathing because someone has told them they are too heavy, or too big.

Bradfordlass…..Hear, hear!!!!

My eldest daughter would say that throughout her childhood I was on one or another diet, I was!
At about fifty I realised they weren’t really working, and no matter how much I dieted, I wasn’t losing weight, so I decided to just eat as healthily as I could, but definitely not diet! I’m bigger than I’d like to be, but have been a constant weight ever since, not, thankfully, any bigger.
It’s harder for your daughter, because there’s so much more pressure on young women to be skinny and gorgeous. I think she should probably just ignore her granny, her body, not grannies!

I would tell grandma to butt out immediately, unless it is unconditional praise, say nothing.

Well done to your daughter for the birth of her baby AND her motivation to attend the sliming club AND loose the weight.... weight gain is a long process as is the process of weight loss... she’s doing brilliantly.. her grandmother needs to be gently encouraging not aggressively so. Maybe your daughter could try when she speaks/visits her grandmother when/if the subject is raised to just barely acknowledge it and then change the subject... hopefully after a wee while your m-in-law will take the hint.... as to the magazines your daughter should mark them “return to sender” or words to that effect and pop them back in the post.
Good luck!

Maybe your daughter should stop seeing or talking to her for a bit and if she asked why tell her straight! Breaks my heart when some women especially family members are not supportive of each other..

Hi , just a small question really , does your mother in law need to loose weight herself , could that be the real reason she asked your daughter about her diet and her weight loss , you might be looking at this all wrong , she is seeing your daughter loose weight , perhaps your mother in law is struggling to loose weight herself , your daughter could invite her to one of her slimming meetings , my daughter has lost seven and a half stone recently , doing really well , I struggle with my weight , I always ask my daughter for advice , it's just a thought

I think your daughter might just have to be brave and say something like “ that’s actually quite rude. I’m doing my best, so please drop the subject “

I do wonder having a go at someone else hides a problem about themselves that they can’t deal with.