Missing my granddaughter

Fickle for sure! Are there any activities you can do only when she sleeps over to make it more fun to come over as she moves into her new age range and interests?

Update....after two months of being offhand with me, not wanting to spend time with us or have sleepovers, two weeks ago my grand-daughter said she missed me and could she come for a sleepover! I was over the moon. Things are completely back to normal now, she is so loving towards my husband and I, and wants to come to stay all the time. I can only think it was a strange stage she went through, and eventually realised how much fun she was missing!

My 26 year old daughter has fallen out with me for reasons that are really not clear. I’ve supported her always. Been there. Loved her.
More importantly this means I am unable (at the moment) to see my granddaughter. She’s 4. I’ve been in her life from the second she was born. I cut the cord. Been in her life longer than her own father! And now. Nothing.
I miss her like crazy. All I can do right now is wait until something changes. I’m devastated. My daughter has a boyfriend who has been in prison. Lies. Steals. Is a bully. And yet he gets to see my granddaughter daily. Where’s the sense in that.

When I was a child my Dad used to love taking us for "Sunday drives". Once I was sick in the car ( all over the car to be honest) and I never , ever, went in the car again for Dad's drives. Such a shame when I think back but the experience spooked me ! Maybe this is what has upset your DGD. Sad, but there may not be much you can do. Just spend what time you can with her, and enjoy what you get. Best wishes !

I'm so sorry. Hopefully it's just a phase. Maybe she can bring a friend along or even her mom (if Mom is up for it?).

I remember spending a week at my grandma's (who lived 10 hours away) with my brother and it was so much fun. Then my dad came to pick us up and I said I wanted to stay. So he just took my brother and left me there another week. That week was terrible. I was more homesick than I'd ever been. And even after I got back home, I had terrible insomnia and nightmares for weeks. I had to sleep in my parents' floor. Kids just go through these weird phases.

I think youre right. Her other granny died two years ago age 52 and she seemed to handle it really well at the time, but now asks lot sof questions about her, and about my sister who died a few years ago. Her daddy has also just been in hosp for an operation, and their beloved wee dog is very poorly at the moment and she keeps asking if hes going to die. Think she just realises what death actually means, and its scary.

Another thing I have just remembered from my own childhood is going through a phase of being scared of anything to do with death. I think around 7 you've finally taken the topic on board as something real and as at 7 you think everyone older than your own parents is 100 years old, it figures that you might wake up in the night and find them suddenly but naturally dead (of old age). In which case you don't want to find yourself the only living person still in the house! Perhaps open a dialog about ages, find out how old she thinks you are, and generational stuff and maybe once the topic of lifecycle is opened up she might say something (not suggesting you start off by talking about dying of course - no point putting ideas into her that she hasn't already got)

I was about that age when I became convinced that my beloved grandparents, who I had stayed with every summer for 2 weeks or so since the age of 3 (I actually preferred their sedate life to my chaotic family life in London with 2 younger siblings), were not themselves but people dressed up as them. I stopped even kissing them hello or goodbye when they visited us. This strange belief lasted a few months but then I grew out of it - looking back I suppose I had just become aware that bad things happened to people and that there were bad people in the world.

She probably doesn't want to leave her mum and dad and brother and be the only one going to grandmas.

Well she gave a reason and maybe it really is as simple as that - she misses mummy. Can you have mummy stay at your place with her a couple of times till she gets used to overnighting at your place again? During those stayovers do all the things you would do if she was staying with you alone, and have her mum sleep in another room if possible. If she's happy to stay with her mother also in the house then she was telling the truth about the reason.

How old are your grandchildren? I know there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I would never want to persuade her against her will. I think I’m taking it badly because for seven years she stayed here at least once a fortnight, and nana sleepovers were ‘the best thing in the whole wide world’. I am happy she is growing independant, but just didnt think it would happen so suddenly, or at such an early age.

I brought my children up to be independent and they loved sleepovers with grandparents and friends almost to the extent of demanding them. They would happily sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag anywhere, My 3 GC used to stay over when they were little but now none of them do. Their parents prefer to keep them at home and the GC are convinced they would be homesick. I really feel we are missing out but there’s nothing we can do about the situation.

I suspect a bad case of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) at home with her little brother getting all the attention from mum and dad. Just give her time she'll come for sleepovers again. Enjoy having your little grandson for sleepovers in the meantime.

Maybe a friend at school has had to go live with granny and misses her mum or dad and she's worried if she says she likes coming to yours she'll be there permanently.Kids have odd ( to us ) reasoning.
I think it's likely to be something happening to one of her peer group or something said by someone.

poor wee soul feels she's being shunted sideways so she's digging in and staying at home so her new rival doesn't win.My sisters daughter was exactly like this when she was around 4 ,once her baby brother got to an annoying stage she was happy to go stay with Granny again .Just be especially nice to her for now .She'll come back

Grandparents' homes are a security blanket for grandchildren (and a little respite for parents) from toddlers to teenagers. I expect she'll come back to you. If she's into something specific, can you offer a related trip or a treat?

She is probably afraid her brother will get spoilt when she is with you. Why don't you invite her brother to come for sleepover with her? She would probably want to come then.

My 7 year old granddaughter used to stay 2 nights a week with me before she started school. She’s refused for 2 years to stay without her mother. We have a good relationship I just accept it.

My 5 year DGD talks about coming to stay overnight at Grannies but she always chickens out at the last minute! She loves the idea of it but, as soon as it gets near to bedtime and she realises that she won't be in her own bed and house, the tears start to flow and I have to take her home again. It doesn't bother me at all because I think she'll only stay when she's ready, if at all, and theres absolutely no point in forcing it. I'm just happy that she wants to spend any time at all with me!

jazzy panic not. Who knows what goes on in the mind of a child. There could be many reasons. With regard to the hugging, our DGC have decided at various times that they didn't want to hug us. They were too shy, too old for hugs, all sorts of reasons. They are all now of an age when they don't hug because they are all bigger than us and grown up...guess what, we get hugs all the time now. Big hugs, and kisses. Children change, as they get older they go through phases. Be interested in them, be there for them, make things with them, take them places and let them go at their own place. No hugs or sleepovers today does not mean never again.

My grandson suffered from travel sickness, still does occasionally if it's too warm in the car, so we bought a pack of sick bags from Amazon. They have an absorbent layer in the bottom and you just tie up the top and dispose. By the time he was about 5 and knew when he was going to be sick he would just grab a bag and do the necessary, which made him more relaxed and lessened the sickness. It sounds as if the little brother thing is also worrying your DGD. Perhaps you could have a special outing together. Maybe an afternoon tea somewhere would make her feel special and grown up or something related to her interests. Hopefully it's just a phase and she'll be back to nana's special little girl soon. Xx

If it’s any help, developmentally, at the age of eight or sometimes a little earlier, children become much more focused on their peer group. They begin to detach from parents at this stage, let alone grandparents, and do become “off-hand” to assert their growing independence.

It’s perfectly normal, if a bit hurtful, but as adults we can take it! If we don’t overreact and become demanding, sad or resentful ( and some grownups do!) the phase passes.

But they may never be that close best buddy again. Their world has expanded. And quite right too?

Hi Jazzy..... my grandson loves coming to stay over at my home as I’m the only nanny he has .... he’s 11 now so don’t know how much longer i’ll Have his attention!? His 6 year old sister though has become reluctant recently to stay over even with her brother there with her.Her parents are going through ‘problems’ and whether or not she’s picked up on the vibes I don’t know, but she seems reluctant to leave them at all! Perhaps things will sort themselves out when she feels more secure. But she still loves me taking her to school and picking her up ...and going out and about with me. It’s just the ‘overnight’ thing that she’s reluctant about. Maybe yours is feeling just a little insecure at the moment. Maybe ask her parents if there could be a reason why you are suddenly ‘out of favour’.Good luck!

Two year olds are pretty clingy, she maybe wants to stay close to home to make sure he doesn’t monopolise mummy’s attention.

Maybe if it suits everyone, the two year old could sleep over at yours and let GD have a night in or out with mummy on her own?

Be practical. Granddaughters become too big to go to granny's for sleepovers. They want sleepovers with their friends.Grans are good for different things now.