Should I start being less nice to my grandson?

I agree with br0adwater, just say how he'd miss his mummy- infront if her and give her a boost- my daughter gets very anxious and insecure sbout her parenting so needs some encouragment too.

Whenever I visited my son and family gd number 2 would rush upstairs to get some some stuff, as she put it, as she was coming back me for a few days. My niece also use to descend om our house after words with her parents but would ask to be taken back after a few days. Just keep it light hearted and all should be well

For goodness sake .... How can an adult take a little boys comment seriously???

As for following mummy's 'rules' .... Sorry but I can't even relate to that.

My daughter has sent me several videos of my grandson moaning "I want grandma" non stop. Kids are clever aren't they. They use these tactics when they're not getting their own way over some nonsense or other!!! I just say to my daughter "no thanks" "you can keep him". In other words we treat it as a joke and of no consequence.

Ps
What exactly is 'attachment parenting"

When I was 5 I loved my teacher so much I told her I wished she was my mummy!
My real mummy was the best one I could ever have had. It's just that children have the wonderful ability to love more than 1 person intensely as they are so open and loving.
My 4 year old DGD loves both me and her Granddad (my 2nd hubby) but will run past me, ignoring my open arms to get to him and he's not even related by blood! I love watching them together and it doesn't bother me in the slightest that she adores him.
Her Mummy + Daddy -and we also - love the fact that DGD loves her childminder as much as she loves us. It's about being confident about your place in the lives of children and accepting that they don't think like we do with all our anxieties and worries. Let them express their love innocently without guilt - there'll be enough of that when they're adults!

No - perfectly normal for a young kid to play off mum against dad, parents against grandparents and one lot of grandpqarents against the other. If you ever do tell him off or refuse him the sweets or expensive toy he's set his heart on, believe me he'll go home and tell M&D how Nan never lets him have anything and he's not going to see her ever again. So take it with a pinch of salt and don't change a thing.

When my twin GD and GS were about 18 months, son-in-law sent me this text, "In our house today 'Gaggi, Papa',"repeat endlessly.

He is a wind up merchant and it is working a treat.

They all do it at one time or another, he's only 4 so I expect there will be lots more funny, upsetting and childish!! things he will say.

Checks date. Not April 1st. Is this a serious question?

When my DGD was 15 she moved in with us, said she had had enough of her parents! She stayed for a couple of weeks and then happily went back home. She is 16 now and turns up after school now and again. She stays for dinner and we treasure the time she gives us. Her 8 year old brother comes daily to us during his holidays, and every so often he packs a bag and tells us that he "may as well stay the night - no point going home as he is coming back the next day anyway" ! As someone who didn't have grandparents, I am really grateful that I can give my GC this experience, and as fo DH and me - well we are in Paradise! So enjoy and allow them to create memories that will help make them into wellbalanced adults.Spoil away, it is your duty!

Quite right farmor51!

Someone is playing US like an old violin.

My DGS age 7 goes through phases like this. Wants to come to my house then spends most of the time looking out of the window for daddy or mummy (whoever's in favour that day!) to come to get him. He often calls me Daddy or Mummy before he gets to Grandma, usually when he wants to draw my attention to something. His mum got very upset a while ago because DGS told her he only wanted his dad - she asked me what she was doing wrong and really needed reassurance. However next time DGS wasn't feeling well he only wanted his mum of course and dad felt pushed away!

Suema ... how lovely that you have such a good relationship with your grandchildren and what great memories you are building with them. I regularly have my grandchildren to stay and one in particular stays overnight, all the next day and another day in the week. We have a great time - and she often doesn't want to go home but when I take her home she goes in happily and loves seeing her mummy daddy and brother. Do not try and change your relationship with your grandchildren - in no time they will go to school and grow up but will have wonderful memories of you.

Oh no! It has indeed all been said - they are experts at finding the right 'button' to push from a very early age. You surely don't want to alienate him - what would that achieve as you look after him during the week? What would happen if he then refused to come to you and started saying he didn't like you?

Lol! Grandma's house is always more fun! Glad to hear your grandkids are so happy and settled with you - that's a massive weight off your daughter's shoulders. Just looking after my grandson while my daughter works too. He is very happy and settled too. No worries.

I look after my twin grandchildren whilst my daughter is at work - they often call me Mummy and say that they want to stay here - quite normal I think from responses above. I cannot believe that you have to ask this question!!! That you would actually think of not being so nice to your grandson is incomprehensible to me.

My neighbour/friend's son left home at 3 to come & live with me- 4 doors down!
He packed his case & stormed out to move in with us- I had been pre- warned with a phone call to expect him.
When he unpacked his case it had his swimming trucks & a teddy in it.
He stayed & played with my sons (his best friends) all afternoon & when Mummy came round later for a cup of coffee he happily went home with her. When she told him off he was always saying he wanted to live with me as I never told him off. Probably as he was always as good as gold here as he had is mates to play with.
I reminded him about all this when he was about 12!!
They all go through it. Ignore it.

Teddy123 I am so glad you asked the question about "attachment parenting". I would love to give you a precise answer but it is a fairly new conundrum in our ever-confusing lexicon and I am still trying to work out what it means.

Our daughter, who has two teenage children and a 7 month old baby, now talks constantly about "attachment". This certainly didn't happen when the other children were babies.

Of course we instinctively "attach" to our babies, so perhaps it's just a word coined to give Mums something else to worry about.

As for being too close to the grandchildren or loving them too much, forget it. You can never love too much. And always be kind, because that's what grandparents are for.

You're taking typical, shallow childish nonsense far too seriously.
Just laugh it off and carry on as normal. p.s. Can't believe anyone would contemplate being "less nice" in response to this. Just how would this manifest itself? The mind boggles...

Our 4 yr old gd always says to her mum,I want my Nan .If I'm there she wants her Nana Pat.when she is at ours she'll say I want my mummy.Whoever isn't there at that time.
My oldest gs would cry when we left as a toddler but has grown out of it.My dd found it upsetting until I reminded her that when she was at her nansshed hide her shoes so she didn't have to come home with me!
Thankfully she outgrew that phase!

My DGD. Is just the same. I look after her when her parents are at work, and she anxiously looks out of the window and asks if it's 'Mummy time' yet.
As soon as DD tries to take her home, it's "Waaaahhhhhh ! Wanna sleep over with Nanna!" They are all little monkeys at this age, and experts at manipulation, bless 'em!

Feeling relieved as I'd been worrying about my grandaughter asking if I could be her real mummy and saying she wants to stay with me and not go home. Pleased that it's a normal phase. Thanks.

My grandchildren say it everytime they have an argument with their parents! Children of that age will always say something like that, and mine are 6 to 14!