looking after my grandchildren advice please

Rules - What are they? Have fun and enjoy. GP's just have to face the consequences when their dgc recall to their parents their wonderful stories. My husband and I have had two of our grandsons 5yrs and 1yr old staying over on Sat and what a lovely time we had even although they woke early with the time change. Sometimes we just get too uptight wondering what the right things are cause we'll never get it right anyway. Just keep on loving these beautiful children and give them the opportunity to enjoy their short time with you.

Hi! I'm new here and a little late to this conversation. I hope everything worked out ok, babbles, and that you had a good time watching your GC.

Just want to add that I frequently watch my DD's children and she and I have discussed what rules must be observed exactly and what ones I can bend a little if it's easier for me. Usually, my GC are just fine. However, if I'm having a problem getting them to go to bed on time or something, I just call or text DD and she says whether they can stay up later or not. Once we hear from mom, everything falls into place. Sometimes the parents have to help you (the GP) to help them!

When I had 2 of my GSs (4 and 6) overnight the other week, they got up and I was getting them ready for school/nursery and said it was time to wash their faces. They looked at me in utter astonishment and horror and said: "We don't wash our faces!"

Babbles,

We knew our DIL's rules and didn't knowingly contravene them. She always added before leaving, "Grammy's house, Grammy's rules to our GC. She'd wag her finger at our GS and warn, "Grammy and Grampa will tell me if you're naughty." I'd put on a stern expression and nod till his back was turned then I'd wink - at her.

When staying, with us at six years old, he'd complain about "all the bathing or showering I have to do, here." Well. . .we found he'd just finished PT. He ran up distinctly sweaty and grubby, but happy, till we warned no TV first. It was always bath or shower, PJ's and home work before TV, then an evening meal.

My DH used to ask for his help in the kitchen. particularly making soup or porridge. Our GC had only eaten instant porridge ( and was delighted, when as a treat Gramps added a tablespoon of double cream onto his porridge for doing well in a test that day.

Babbles, really listen when asking his opinion. Find out if he and you share any activity in common or, ask him if he'd like to do any of the things that delighted you at his age. If giving out sweets ask why he likes it and ask for a description of its taste.

Make good memories, good luck and cheers

PS I loved the idea of 95 and 70 year old grandchildren! how on earth old would their grandparents have to be!! ;)

I look after my 3/4 year old grandson for 2 days per week,at his own house. I follow the rules most of the time ie not too much screen time, no sweets, juice etc. However I do also bend them and not tell my daughter! as other people have said, the occasional spoiling is de rigeur for grandparents! so he does get the extra 'Paw Patrol' episode on the ipad and piece of biscuit or cake when we're out.
I don't always agree with my daughter's ideas about what's best for my GS but I find it easier to stick to what she asks me to do.
It does worry me that she prefers him not to have a nap because it means he goes to bed later meaning that his parents have a short evening after work. But I do understand how they feel so resist the temptation to put my GS to bed after lunch so Nanny can have a break!!!

If you get your GC into the kitchen to help with the cooking, they are more likely to eat the meal once it's ready. Are they boys or girls or one of each? I once found my 9-year-old GS hauling his dad's Kenwood chef out of the cupboard so as to use the liquidiser to make a smoothie. So I gave him a hand - he said the chocolate and banana smoothie was delicious! I'm going to spend a few days 'minding' the two of them and wonder what bright ideas they are likely to come up with.

I used to find that food at our home was a little more 'healthy' for the DGC's than they often had in their very busy home. Now our DDiL is on a health-kick we are often the less healthy ones! It sort of balances out. We do try not to go against any of their parents core approaches, Anya's suggestions is great to help with understanding. The children happily accept that in our home their are some different rules, like not jumping on the sofas. Yes, they do get some treats, we try not to overdo them but sometimes when energy flags its the only way for us all to stay sane. Good luck, Babbles, try not to worry and just have a wonderful time, we find we get so much from helping with holiday child care that any worries soon fade into the background.

I try hard to stick to one sweet item a day but we took the four of them out this week. I packed the picnic and took fruit juice and also some chocolate brioche. DH then went off and bought chocolate and strawberry milkshakes (loads of sugar!!) and then after we had packed away the picnic he took them off to play but when they came back they all had ice lollies, including DH!! You can only do your best

Get the bread and water out!

I got told off for allowing GC to have slushi at soft play area, apparently it is an occasional treat and it wasn't the occasion Naughty me, next week I will take a bottle of water each, if I remember

When I looked after 5 yr old GS regularly and he complained to mummy that I wouldn't let him do X she told him "nannies house, nannies rules*
If I had to discipline him I made him tell mummy what had happened and the consequences.
I realise it's different with DiL rather than DD but she should allow you some lee way, as your helping them out.

Ask your DiL for a list of dos and don'ts ( or do's and don't's??) to keep her happy and then ignore as you see fit. It works for me.

My 12 year old grandson has for quite a long time now expressed the opinion "Granny's house, Granny's rules." I totally deny putting him up to this! I do however occasionally let my rules match his parent's, particularly around meals, cleaning teeth and 'please' and 'thank yous'.

Don't know where you live Babbles but we find with our two grandsons enjoy chasing around National Trust Gardens (if you are members it is free for the kids). Lots of NT places have activities for children during the hols.

Taking a picnic is a good idea with the possible treat of an ice-cream.

We find our boys like repeat visits to places they have already been to.

Trip to the cinema, but make sure you book the tickets in advance.

Do you have any museums nearby you could visit ?

Tourist Info offices are a mine of information on kids' activities.

Best of luck.

I guess that if you are doing them a favour, you make the rules. But, as others have said, it might be sensible to ask DS and DIL what they see as unbreakable rules. And for you to say you will do your best to abide by these.

But they do need to understand that we are older and do not have the stamina to keep going all day, and if a bit of TV time for the DGC helps to get you through the day, then so be it.

I agree getting it clear about how much screen time, what snacks/drinks etc. they are allowed is a good idea. Perhaps you can agree to a 'treat' a day which might be a snack treat or a screen time treat. I usually get round this by sometimes getting the kids to make cakes/sweets as an activity and then wrapping them up prettily for their parents!!

You will have a lovely time I am sure. So many ideas of free things to do in the holidays is available on the web!

Nans are allowed to spoil her their grandchildren it is the rules!!

I'd say as for all the entertainment stuff it's up to you! Can be a long day. As for snacks if they don't normally get junk food why would it be a good idea to introduce it? As for discipline do you feel she is too strict or too lenient?

babbles I think its a given that Grandma is going to spoil her grandchildren , as you say you are doing them a massive favour and a little treat, extra tv here or there won't do them any harm.. My daughters have always accepted that my 8 grandchildren would get away with things at my house that they wouldn't at home, just silly things like extra computer time, or staying up late on a sleepover, or the odd glass of pop and sweeties, its a nod and wink between me and them they know it goes on but the kids like to think that they Mum doesn't know what they get up to at Nannies house..

It sounds like you are a great gran who loves having a relationship with her family so just enjoy it and relax.

I'm sure there will be those who have a different view..

I'm assuming you mean nine and a half and seven. Ask your DIL for a programme of her normal holiday day.ie which tv programmes are they allowed, how much iPad time how much Minecraft etc. ask for sample menus and adapt your normal food for child friendly food. I have DVDs for rainy days and a tent for fine days. Yes my house my rules but not Gransnet salads (bowls of revels ) followed by double choc chip cookies and magnums as a meal. I know I'm mean but I value having return visits .Best of luck.

They are 5 and 7 not 95 and 70 - i have no idea how that happened