grandparenting

I've found it best to stand back and let my children make there own choices regarding their children and offer my input only when asked for it, makes for a quiet life,I just enjoy my DGCs and then hand them back to my DD and I have found her parenting skills are similar to mine anyway,I never interfer with her decisions as they are her children I just guide them if I see something happening I don't approve of.

I agree, Lona.

Is this a media request?

Hi folks my experience is limited and would love to hear tips from other grandparents out there

Then stay on here and ask questions, Trinity! There is a wealth, and a great variety of wisdom and experience on GN, and you should find people who understand whatever situation you are in.

I can't see any call, or use at all for a course in grand parenting - each family is different and so are the needs. You really do learn as you go with DGC, recalling all your own experiences with your parents and grandparents, and having the love you all share as a foundation for it all.

Just one tip - don't interfere, and count to ten before you say anything critical. New parents are sensitive plants.

The New Granny's Survival Guide is an excellent read.

Sorry but I really don't feel the need. Having brought up my own I'm sure I know what I'm doing.
I'm one of those who says that "grandmas house has grandmas rules" obviously I wouldn't go completely against DD wishes.
I agree that advice should only be given when asked for.

Good grief! Whatever next? Can't we do anything ourselves? Do we really need a course to teach us how to be grandparents?
I read somewhere that if there is a chink in the market someone will whip in and make money out of it
What's to learn that we can't learn on the job?

Precisely, golden!

As long as we have managed to bring up our own children without screwing them up completely, we will probably be OK with Grandkids.

There is probably more of an issue with managing our children's expectations of modern child rearing, and how it varies from the way we did it 30/40 yrs ago. That could be a point of friction.

I have only been a grandmother for seven years but I must confess I have yet to feel any need for a grandparenting course.

I suspect good grand parenting starts with the birth of ones first child. if you can provide your children with a loving home which engenders happy inter family relationships, then in most cases the family dynamic will automatically make you at least an adequate grandparent. Of course we hear all kinds of sad stories on Gransnet and my heart goes out to all those who do not have a good relationship with their grandchildren, but start at the birth of your child and plan ahead and, with a following wind, all should go well.

Surely, we've been there, done that and thrown out the t-shirt!

It can be difficult trinity and a bit of a minefield too. Go with what the parents want, remember it's their child and try to relax, it will all come back to you.

Spare us from even more "professionals" telling us how to suck eggs!

Poor Trinity not found a lot of help here has she?

No course needed here. I just have the one DGD. I love her so much - and I think that's all you need and as Aka says, remember it's their child.

Don't need a course. I just let them get on with it. Never interfere. Love the children to the moon and back. Give advice only when asked and I do not take offence if it is not taken. Help out when I can but never push myself onto them. Sound as if I am bragging but really it is simple. Just be yourself and follow the rules above. Should be plain sailing, who needs a course indeed.

Just had to do a 'course' ...... only it was an assault course designed by GD1 aged four. Among other things I had to crawl (commando style on elbows as wouldn't have fitted any other way) through a 10' nylon tunnel with a diameter of 24"!!

Hmm yes! We've all done that one Aka my last one involved all the cushions in the house, one blanket and a torch

Some really good advice on here. I would reinforce the view that you should say nothing unless asked and then be very very careful what you say, do not stand your ground if they do not agree with your advice. You will love these little people with all your heart and may think you would bring them up differently but they are not yours. You can offer them love, time and a wealth of experience but never undermine their parents.
I speak from my own experience but also from my DD1's who has had enormous difficulties with her PIL.

Always bear in mind that however much advice and experience you have of grandparenting you may suddenly at some time be faced with the possibility of 'Denied Contact'.Most of us GNs in this situation never thought it would happen to us.