New Limerick Thread II 2016 (following New Limerick Thread)

An Eskimo I'd never be
For Greenland would never suit me
I do love the sun
Rainy climates I shun.

An Eskimo I'd never be
For Greenland would never suit me
I do love the sun
Rainy climates I shun
And I do like a swim in the sea

I also love a picnic

An Eskimo I'd never be
For Greenland would never suit me
I do love the sun
Rainy climates I shun.
The monsoons sound very scary

I’ll stay where its cold, damp and wet

I'll stay where it's cold, damp and wet
Anywhere in Britain I'll bet

I'll stay where it's cold, damp and wet
Anywhere in Britain I'll bet
Spring will soon be here

I’ll stay where it’s cold, damp and wet
Anywhere in Britain I’ll bet
Spring will soon be here
Our cold hearts to cheer

I’ll stay where it’s cold, damp and wet
Anywhere in Britain I’ll bet
Spring will soon be here
Our cold hearts to cheer
Or should I fly off in a jet?

There once was a fellow from Fulham

There once was a fellow from Fulham
If he saw pretty girls he would pull 'em!

There once was a fellow from Fulham
If he saw pretty girls he would pull 'em!
He now lives in Gaol

There once was a fellow from Fulham
If he saw pretty girls he would pull 'em!
He now lives in Gaol
Where inmates are male

There once was a fellow from Fulham,
If he saw pretty girls he would pull ‘em!
He now lives in Gaol
Where inmates are male
In photos he’s looking quite sullen.

I once spent a week in a tent

I once spent a week in a tent
‘Twas in the forests, near Kent

I once spent a week in a tent
'Twas in the forests, near Kent
A romantic time

I once spent a week in a tent
'Twas in the forests, near Kent
A romantic time
With weather sublime

I once spent a week in a tent
'Twas in the forests, near Kent
A romantic time
With weather sublime
Yes those were hours well spent

My companion, a very good sport,

My companion, a very good sport,
Loaned me his new kashmere coat

My companion, a very good sport
Loaned me his new cashmere coat
The wind had a bite

My companion, a very good sport
Loaned me his new cashmere coat
The wind had a bite
And blew through the night

My companion, a very good sport
Loaned me his new cashmere coat
The wind had a bite
And blew through the night
So I ended up in a moat

Im cold, wet and covered in mud

Im cold wet and covered in mud
but the flowers are all in bud

Im cold wet and covered in mud
but the flowers are all in bud
The cashmere has dried

I'm cold wet and covered in mud,
But the flowers are all in bud
The cashmere has dried
At least on the outside

I'm cold wet and covered in mud,
But the flowers are all in bud
The cashmere has dried
At least on the outside
I no longer feel like a dud

I now need something fun to do

I’m cold wet and covered in mud
But the flowers are all in bud
The cashmere has dried
At least on the outside
With cashmere, it’s never a dud.

Not long till the daffodils bloom

Not long till the daffodils bloom
Instead of this wet dreary gloom,