LIMERICKS (Apr ‘25)

I watch the dancing, not soccer
But the last one I watched was a shocker
They fell to the floor
The turn had been poor

I watch the dancing, not soccer
But the last one I watched was a shocker
They fell to the floor
The turn had been poor
And then they all went to the locker

Watching news broadcasts is boring

Watching news broadcasts is boring
Two minutes in, I'll be snoring

Watching news broadcasts is boring
Two minutes in, I’ll be snoring
I’ll give them a miss

Watching news broadcasts is boring
Two minutes in, I’ll be snoring
I’ll give them a miss
And instead will watch this!

Watching news broadcasts is boring
Two minutes in, I'll be snoring
I'll give them a miss
And instead will watch this!
No politics, please, I'm imploring!

The worst book that I ever read

The worst book that I ever read
Was about an old man called Ned

The worst book that I ever read
Was about an old man called Ned
Who turned into a gopher

The worst book that I ever read
Was about an old man called Ned
Who turned into a gopher
A real no hoper

The worst book that I ever read
Was about an old man called Ned
Who turned into a gopher
A real no hoper
And spent all his time in his shed

I once read a book about spies

I once read a book about spies
How they had to tell lots of lies

I once read a book about spies
How they had to tell lots of lies
Just to save their skin

I once read a book about spies
How they had to tell lots of lies
Just to save their skin
And not stir their gin

I once read a book about spies
How they had to tell lots of lies
Just to save their skin
And not stir their gin
And ensure of the baddie's demise

I think I have met my James Bond

I think I have met my James Bond
Someone of whom I’m vey fond

I think I have met my James Bond
Someone of whom I am fond
His job is hush hush

I think I have met my James Bond
Someone of whom I am fond
His job is hush hush
And I have a crush

I think I have met my James Bond
Someone of whom I am fond
His job is hush hush
And I have a crush
But his is the world of beau monde.

For me the jet set is a bore

For me the jet set is a bore
More interesting people are poor

For me the jet set is a bore
More interesting people are poor
They live by their wits

For me the jet set is a bore
More interesting people are poor
They live by their wits
They seldom are twits

For me the jet set is a bore
More interesting people are poor
They live by their wits
They seldom are twits
They’re not rich, but they are hard core

I once met an itinerant

I once met an itinerant
His preaching to me was just cant

I once met an itinerant
His preaching to me was just cant
He just spoke rubbish

I once met an itinerant
His preaching to me was just cant
He just spoke rubbish
And made me feel snubbish