More Lame Limericks

Don't know what it is about 'stress'
But it's pretty bad nevertheless
Gives me a headache
With men on the make
And stress always makes me peckish

I need to start writing some cards

I need to start writing some cards
I’m sitting like a lump of lard

I need to start writing some cards
I'm sitting like a lump of lard
Will get posted late

I need to start writing some cards
I'm sitting like a lump of lard
Will get posted late
Friends will be irate

I need to start writing some cards
I'm sitting like a lump of lard
Will get posted late
Friends will be irate
And writing excuses is hard

Maybe just skip cards this year?

Maybe just skip cards this year?
It's always a bit of a 'mare'

Maybe just skip cards this year?
It's always a bit of a 'mare'
Friends will understand

Maybe just skip cards this year?
It's always a bit of a 'mare'
Friends will understand
I'll post some by hand

Maybe just skip cards this year?
It's always been a bit of a 'mare'
Friends will understand
I'll post some by hand
Tell them to stop in for a beer

This year I will keep it simple

This year I will keep it simple
In my life, this is only a dimple

This year I will keep it simple
In my life, this is only a dimple
I won’t treat myself

This year I will keep it simple
In my life, this is only a dimple
I won’t treat myself
Leave stuff on the shelf

This year I will keep it simple
In my life, this is only a dimple
I won't treat myself
Leave stuff on the shelf
Or donate to nuns in wimples

Go for a more modest repast

Go for a more modest repast
But don't eat the food that is "fast"

Go for a more modest repast
But don't eat the food that is "fast"
Try to keep it organic

Go for a more modest repast
But don't eat the food that is "fast"
Try to keep it organic
But not moronic

Go for a more modest repast
But don't eat the food that is 'fast'
Try to keep it organic
But not moronic
Be frugal and make money last

But that doesn't sound like much fun

But that doesn't sound like much fun
Once the holiday's truly begun

But that doesn't sound like much fun
Once the holiday's truly begun
I'll have to indulge

But that doesn't sound like much fun
Once the holiday's truly begun
I'll have to indulge
Food, wine, till I bulge

But that doesn't sound like much fun
Once the holiday's truly begun
I'll have to indulge
Food, wine, till I bulge
Then next book some time in the sun.

After Christmas this comes to mind

After Christmas this comes to mind
I’ll leave the cold winter behind

After Christmas this comes to mind
I’ll leave the cold winter behind
Just book me a flight

After Christmas this comes to mind
I’ll leave the cold winter behind
Just book me a flight
To a place warm and light