Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway) (

y cousin just loves her pet poodle.
She features in many a doodle
They were featured in 'Vogue'
He was really a rogue

My cousin just loves her pet poodle.
She features in many a doodle
They were featured in 'Vogue'
He was really a rogue
So life with him is not too dull

My brother has trained a guard dog

My brother has trained a guard doG
But it’s scared of a tiny frog

My brother has trained a guard doG
But it’s scared of a tiny frog
When froggy said "croak!"

My brother has trained a guard doG
But it’s scared of a tiny frog
When froggy said "croak!"
The guard dog did quoke (poetic licence ?)

My brother has trained a guard doG
But it’s scared of a tiny frog
When froggy said "croak!"
The guard dog did quoke (poetic licence ?)
He's as good as a bump on a loG,

McDermott enjoyed a good drink

McDermott enjoyed a good drink
Beer cans were piled high in the sink

McDermott enjoyed a good drink
Beer cans were piled high in the sink
His favourite was rum

McDermott enjoyed a good drink
Beer cans were piled high in the sink
His favourite was rum
Sat well in his tum

McDermott enjoyed a good drink
Beer cans were piled high in the sink
His favourite was rum
Sat well in his tum
And ensured that's his cheeks stayed pink.

One day at an afternoon tea

One day at an afternoon tea
There was a woman, quite greedy

One day at an afternoon tea
There was a woman, quite greedy
She scoffed all the cakes

One day at an afternoon tea
There was a woman, quite greedy
She scoffed all the cakes
Left none for her mates

One day at an afternoon tea
There was a woman, quite greedy
She scoffed all the cakes
Left none for her mates
So everyone left feeling needy

A porcupine strolled down the road

A porcupine strolled down the road
His quills all a-quiver, he strode

A porcupine strolled down the road
His quills all a-quiver, he strode
The cat’s got his back up

A porcupine strolled down the road
His quills all a-quiver, he strode
The cat’s got his back up
And is trying to catch up

A porcupine strolled down the road
His quills all a-quiver, he strode
Cat’s got his back up
Trying to catch up
Would really be best not to goad

I wish I was a brave driver

I wish I was a brave driver
But at least I'm a survivor

I wish I was a brave driver
But at least I'm a survivor
I just close my eyes

I wish I was a brave driver
But at least I'm a survivor
I just close my eyes
I don’t think that’s wise

I wish I was a brave driver
But at least I'm a survivor
I just close my eyes
I don’t think that’s wise
I crashing to be a conniver

My brother took up car racing

My brother took up car racing
Left kin home anxiously pacing

My brother took up car racing
Left kin home anxiously pacing
He went round a bend

My brother took up car racing
Left kin home anxiously pacing
He went round a bend
Could this be the end?