Limericks (July 23)

Make up applied with a trowel
To dress, she would drape in a towel
Not that im bitchy

Make up applied with a trowel
To dress, she would drape in a towel
Not that im bitchy
She does look witchy

Make up applied with a trowel
To dress, she would drape in a towel
Not that im bitchy
She does look witchy
To look at her makes me just howl

Wish I knew where the odd socks go

Wish I knew where the odd socks go
I think I’ll look behind the door

Wish I knew where the odd socks go
I think I’ll look behind the door
Only big cobwebs

Wish I knew where the odd socks go
I think I’ll look behind the door
Only big cobwebs
And a strange object

Wish I knew where the odd socks go
I think I’ll look behind the door
Only big cobwebs
And a strange object
My dog has dragged in off the moot

I don't think that it is a bone

Sorry....

Wish I knew where the odd socks go
I think I’ll look behind the door
Only big cobwebs
And a strange object
My dog has dragged in off the moor

I don't think that it is a bone

I don't think that it is a bone
In fact it resembles a drone,

I don't think that it is a bone
In fact it resembles a drone,
And away it goes

I don't think that it is a bone
In fact it resembles a drone,
And away it goes
Flying with the crows

I don’t think it’s a bone
In fact it resembles a drone
And away it goes
Flying away with the crows
To a place completely unknown

Is it me or the nature of money

Is it me or the nature of money
It disappears like magic bunny

Is it me or the nature of money
It disappears like magic bunny
Just gone in a blink

Is it me or the nature of money
It disappears like magic bunny
Just gone in a blink
To where? Let me think....

Is it me or the nature of money
It disappears like magic bunny
Just gone in a blink
To where? Let me think....
Its disappearance is not funny

If only my dreams would come true

If only my dreams would come true
I’d be by the sea , oh so blue

If only my dreams would come true
I’d be beside the sea, oh so blue
Cocktails I would drink

If only my dreams would come true
I’d be beside the sea, oh so blue
Cocktails I would drink
Until on the brink

If only my dreams would come true
I’d be beside the sea, oh so blue
Cocktails I would drink
Until on the brink,
But, most important, just with you.

We need a second honeymoon

We need a second honeymoon
Let's go somewhere lovely in June

We need a second honeymoon
Let's go somewhere lovely in June
Yes please, utter bliss

We need a second honeymoon
Let's go somewhere lovely in June
Yes please, utter bliss
But mine’s gone amiss

We need a second honeymoon
Let’s go somewhere lovely in June
Yes please, utter bliss
But mine’s gone amiss
Maybe he’s flown off to Cancun

I’m fed up of working all day

I’m fed up of working all day
I think I’ll retire in May