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Limericks 18 (cont'd)

(1001 Posts)
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VB000 Fri 28-Apr-23 12:45:15

I'll need to invest in ear plugs
A better solution than drugs
To keep out the noise

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keepcalmandcavachon Tue 28-Nov-23 22:54:38

Trees sway in a tropical breeze
Campari and Soda if you please

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VB000 Wed 29-Nov-23 09:13:20

Trees sway in a tropical breeze
Campari and Soda if you please
Or a rum and coke

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Juliet27 Wed 29-Nov-23 09:18:30

Trees sway in a tropical breeze
Campari and Soda if you please
Or a rum and coke
‘Cos I’m an old soak

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Salti Wed 29-Nov-23 09:31:46

Trees sway in a tropical breeze
Campari and Soda if you please
Or a rum and coke
‘Cos I’m an old soak
And pollen is making me sneeze

Long Summer days are months away

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henetha Wed 29-Nov-23 10:20:15

Long Summer days are months away,
Our winter days are mostly grey,

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crazyH Wed 29-Nov-23 11:17:41

Long Summer days are months away,
Our winter days are mostly grey,
Heating bills to dread

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BrightandBreezy Wed 29-Nov-23 15:09:17

Long summer days are months away
Our winter days are mostly grey
Heating bills to dread
Cost does in my head

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crazyH Wed 29-Nov-23 23:10:19

Long summer days are months away
Our winter days are mostly grey
Heating bills to dread
Cost does in my head
It will take up all of my pay.

Went for a run and was chased by..

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henetha Wed 29-Nov-23 23:37:18

Went for a run and was chased by
A cyclist wearing a red tie

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crazyH Thu 30-Nov-23 01:23:49

Went for a run and was chased by
A cyclist wearing a red tie
I did a zig-zag

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Ashcombe Thu 30-Nov-23 01:53:47

Went for a run and was chased by
A cyclist wearing a red tie
I did a zig-zag
He called me a hag

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Salti Thu 30-Nov-23 08:06:57

Went for a run and was chased by
A cyclist wearing a red tie
I did a zig-zag
He called me a hag
His injuries now make him cry

A nasty excuse for a man

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VB000 Thu 30-Nov-23 09:19:58

A nasty excuse for a man
All Lycra clad, with fake suntan

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henetha Thu 30-Nov-23 10:53:15

A nasty excuse for a man
All Lycra clad, with fake suntan
I punctured his tyres

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GoldenLady Thu 30-Nov-23 15:41:04

A nasty excuse for a man
All Lycra clad, with fake suntan
I punctured his tyres
And severed his wyres

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BrightandBreezy Fri 01-Dec-23 13:34:37

A nasty excuse for a man
All Lycra clad, with fake suntan
I punctured his tyres
And severed his wyres
Just shows what a good woman can

Still all is forgiven him now

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VB000 Tue 05-Dec-23 10:57:35

Still all is forgiven him now
He's traded his bike for a cow

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GoldenLady Tue 05-Dec-23 15:06:17

Still all is forgiven him now
He's traded his bike for a cow
And he gets free milk

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BrightandBreezy Tue 05-Dec-23 15:20:22

Still all is forgiven him now
He's traded his bike for a cow
And gets free milk
He dresses in silk

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henetha Wed 06-Dec-23 10:42:54

Still all is forgiven him now
He's traded his bike for a cow
And gets free milk
He dresses in silk
But he still smells just like a sow.

In fact, that's an insult to pigs

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crazyH Wed 06-Dec-23 11:20:42

In fact, that's an insult to pigs
They do smell better than his digs

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Salti Wed 06-Dec-23 20:19:35

In fact, that's an insult to pigs
They do smell better than his digs
Sweaty lycra, yuk!

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henetha Thu 07-Dec-23 10:43:49

In fact, that's an insult to pigs
They do smell better than his digs
Sweaty lycra, yuk!
And some kitchen muck,

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crazyH Thu 07-Dec-23 11:49:21

In fact, that's an insult to pigs
They do smell better than his digs
Sweaty lycra, yuk!
And some kitchen muck,
And he often stinks of stale cigs.

Let’s move on to pleasanter things

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VB000 Thu 07-Dec-23 13:02:58

Let’s move on to pleasanter things
Christmas carols with five gold rings

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