Limericks with very strict rules (7) 88558

Italian cuisine is the best
With handsome Luigi, my quest
To dine in Milan
Lets hope that the plan

Italian cuisine is the best
With handsome Luigi, my quest
To dine in Milan
Lets hope that the plan
Will give my beating heart, a rest

But for me, Ashoka’s the man

But for me, Ashoka’s the man
He's powerful and has a tan

But for me, Ashoka’s the man
He's powerful and has a tan
Under his turban

But for me, Ashoka’s the man
He's powerful and has a tan
Under his turban
There's a bottle of bourbon

But for me, Ashoka’s the man
He's powerful and has a tan
Under his turban
There's a bottle of bourbon
Sadly he has the looks of my Gran

I’m looking for somebody new

I’m looking for somebody new
Good looking and wealthy will do

I’m looking for somebody new
Good looking and wealthy will do
House in the country

I’m looking for somebody new
Good looking and wealthy will do
House in the country
A magnificent plum tree

I’m looking for somebody new
Good looking and wealthy will do
House in the country
A magnificent plum tree
And solid gold seats in the loo.

A new rimless toilet for me

A new rimless toilet for me
I want all my neighbours to see

A new rimless toilet for me
I want all my neighbours to see
I’ll invite them in

A new rimless toilet for me
I want all my neighbours to see
I’ll invite them in
To see there's no rim

A new rimless toilet for me
I want all my neighbours to see
I’ll invite them in
To see there's no rim
But no chance I’m letting them pee!

Let’s now discuss something refined

Let’s now discuss something refined
No words which are really unkind

Let’s now discuss something refined
No words which are really unkind
But that toilet is funny

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Let’s now discuss something refined
No words which are really unkind
But that toilet is funny
It’s a posh dunny

Let’s now discuss something refined
No words which are really unkind
But that toilet is funny
It’s a posh dunny
On which I can rest my behind.

Oh dear, have I lowered the tone?

Oh dear, have I lowered the tone?
You indeed have made everyone groan

Oh dear, have I lowered the tone?
You indeed have made everyone groan
Please spare our blushes

Oh dear, have I lowered the tone?
You indeed have made everyone groan
Please spare our blushes
You give us hot flushes

Oh dear, have I lowered the tone?
You indeed have made everyone groan
Please spare our blushes
You give us hot flushes
Whenever we sit on the throne!

The November days seem so short

The November days seem so short
We've hardly got time to cavort

The November days seem so short
We've hardly got time to cavort
Not my favourite month

The November days seem so short
We've hardly got time to cavort
Not my favourite month
Even though it’s the eleventh