Limericks with very strict rules (5) - 88558

I think I'll just buy one more thing
Something to show that it's spring!
A shade jolly bright
That fits me just right
And makes me get out there and sing.

The trees are beginning to bloom

The trees are beginning to bloom
Magnolias I see from my room

The trees are beginning to bloom
Magnolias I see from my room
They gladden the heart

The trees are beginning to bloom
Magnolias I see from my room
They gladden the heart
Of summer a start

The trees are beginning to bloom
Magnolias I see from my room
They gladden the heart
Of summer a start
And help to push away the gloom.

An intellectual old man

An intellectual old man
Said ‘can you teach me how to scan.’

An intellectual old man
Said ‘can you teach me how to scan.’
“Yes, but I’m not free”

An intellectual old man
Said ‘can you teach me how to scan.’
“Yes, but I’m not free”
Give money to me,

An intellectual old man
Said ‘can you teach me how to scan.’
“Yes, but I’m not free”
Give money to me,
The old guy away from him ran.

The cell phone is easy for kids

The cell phone is easy for kids
On eBay they’ll be making bids

The cell phone is easy for kids
On eBay they’ll be making bids
But who’s paying the bill ?

The cell phone is easy for kids
On eBay they’ll be making bids
But who’s paying the bill ?
Their mom and dad will

The cell phone is easy for kids
On eBay they’ll be making bids
But who’s paying the bill ?
Their mom and dad will
And Uncle will give a few quid(s)

He’s always there when they need him

He’s always there when they need him,
Without his help life could be grim

He’s always there when they need him,
Without his help life could be grim
He’s big and burly

He’s always there when they need him
Without his help life could be grim
He’s big and burly
Hair a bit curly

He’s always there when they need him
Without his help life could be grim
He’s big and burly
Hair a bit curly
He’d not be the same with a trim

Must be fun to have a sister

Must be fun to have a sister
Until she flirts with your Mister

Must be fun to have a sister
Until she flirts with your Mister
I’d not thought of that!

Must be fun to have a sister
Until she flirts with your Mister
I’d not thought of that!
Better off with a cat

Must be fun to have a sister
Until she flirts with your Mister
I’d not thought of that!
Better off with a cat
Went wrong when I saw he kissed her

Maybe a brother would be best

Maybe a brother would be best
He’ll help me with my driving test

Maybe a brother would be best
He`ll help me with my driving test
His mates will be cool

Maybe a brother would be best
He`ll help me with my driving test
His mates will be cool
Won’t think me a fool

Maybe a brother would be best
He`ll help me with my driving test
His mates will be cool
Won’t think me a fool
We’ll have good fun and all the rest !

It’s all quite platonic ofcourse