Versatile Verse 4 please continue

A nice water feature would make a great show
As long as it doesn't make me want to 'go' !

But the sound of water is so relaxing

I'll buy some plants to brighten up the borders
My gardener guy has been given his orders

A nice water feature would make a great show

My lawn has gone brown with this terrible heat
and I must go to the garden centre and buy some peat

I'll buy some plants to brighten up the borders

Hopefully the poor things will happily survive
With some fertiliser they might even thrive

My lawn has gone brown with this terrible heat

So out comes the hosepipe to wet the poor soil
Best to do it early so the plants don't boil.

Hopefully the poor things will happily survive

But my pride and joy, my hydrangea, is wilting
The soil is too dry and the poor thing is tilting

So out comes the hosepipe to wet the poor soil

Now my garden's blooming with flowers all around
My roses, my fuschias, they all abound.

But my pride and joy, my hydrangea, is wilting

No need for the soil and the smell in my car
I much prefer French perfume, oh la la

Now my garden's blooming with flowers all around

To the council dump, where we had to pay.
For £40 yearly, they’ll take it away

No need for the soil and the smell in my car

It’s amazing the changes with just a few snips
Getting rid of the weeds took quite a few trips

To the council dump where we had to pay

Oh how he made me laugh
With his topiary giraffe

It’s amazing the changes with just a few snips

I’ll hire a gardener handsome and brown
And be envied by everyone all over town

Oh, how he made me laugh

They shoot up overnight
My poor flower beds have the blight

I'll hire a gardener handsome and brown

My garden is looking a mess
But the weeds are a great success,

They shoot up overnight

He looked so very handsome in the soft moonlight
But seeing him next day almost gave me a fright

My garden is looking a mess

The sunshine, the foreign food, the memories of bliss
And on one romantic night I had a stolen kiss

He looked so very handsome in the soft moonlight

Spend all day queueing to get on the plane
No need to isolate back home again.

The sunshine, the foreign food, memories of bliss

I'll dig out my passport and off I will go
To my local airport to join in the flow

Spend all day queuing to get on the plane

So maybe next year when I feel it is safe
I'll don my best gear,although the shoes chafe.

I'll dig out my passport and off I will go

I long for adventure, a tiny last fling
Go shopping in Paris, a wonderful thing

So maybe next year when I feel it is safe

And quietly sit at home with my sewing,
But part of me wishes I was still going.

I long for adventure, a tiny last fling

Oh the humiliation! I’m giving up the stage,
No more of these antics, I should act my age

And quietly sit at home with my sewing

I rushed off the stage with a very red face
I tripped over my knickers, made of lace

Oh the humiliation! I’m giving up the stage,

Bow after bow amidst thunderous applause
'Til I felt the elastic snap in my drawers!

I rushed off the stage with a very red face...

The atmosphere was heady, I wanted more
Bouquets were brought as I sank to the floor

Bow after bow amidst thunderous applause