Limericks 17

I often wear fancy high heels
I’m afraid my skin often peels
My legs are shapely
I walk sedately

I often wear fancy high heels
I’m afraid my skin often peels
My legs are shapely
I walk sedately
But I'm fat, eat too many meals.

I'm thinking my hair should be pink

I'm thinking my hair should be pink
In my village, I’ll cause a stink

I`m thinking my hair should be pink
In my village, I`ll cause a stink
They`ll say "Look at `er!"

I’m thinking my hair should be pink
In my village, I`ll cause a stink
They`ll say "Look at `er!"
Such an amateur

I’m thinking my hair should be pink
In my village, I`ll cause a stink
They`ll say "Look at `er!"
Such an amateur
But I’ll just carry on, with a wink

I like to cook for myself

I like to cook for myself
With things I have on the shelf

I like to cook for myself
With things I have on the shelf
I throw everything in

I like to cook for myself
With things I have on the shelf
I throw everything in
To waste is a sin,

I like to cook for myself
With things I have on the shelf
I throw everything in
To waste is a sin,
And my husband cooks for himself

Today, the weather was warm

Today, the weather was warm
But outside it’s too dull and calm

Today, the weather was warm
But outside it’s too dull and calm
Tornado's coming

Today the weather was warm
But outside it`s too dull and calm
Tornado`s coming
Phone lines are humming

Today the weather was warm
But outside it`s too dull and calm
Tornado`s coming
Phone lines are humming
Just prepare yourself for a storm

La Niña wreaked havoc this year

La Niña wreaked havoc this year
Pray, what happened to you my dear?

La Niña wreaked havoc this year
Pray, what happened to you my dear?
Was almost blown away

La Niña wreaked havoc this year
Pray, what happened to you my dear?
Was almost blown away
To nearby Torbay

La Niña wreaked havoc this year
Pray, what happened to you my dear?
Was almost blown away
To nearby Torbay
I just clung onto the Pier

There was a young cyclist called. Ernie

There was a young cyclist called. Ernie
Who dated a beauty called Bernie

There was a young cyclist called Ernie
Who dated a beauty called Bernie
On tandem they rode

There was a young cyclist called Ernie
Who dated a beauty called Bernie
On tandem they rode
And shared an abode

There was a young cyclist called Ernie
Who dated a beauty called Bernie
On tandem they rode
And shared an abode
Both so happy on life’s journey

But their cycling came to an end

But their cycling came to an end
When they went too fast round a bend

But their cycling came to an end
When they went too fast round a bend
Crashed into a wall

But their cycling came to an end
When they went too fast round a bend
Crashed into a wall
Both took a fall ??