Limericks with very strict rules.....88558....3

So long since I dressed to the nines
And my mask hid all those deep lines
When lockdown is o’er
I’ll skip out the door
Avoiding the porcupine spines

The wildlife round here is diverse

The wildlife round here is diverse
Yes, porcupines and even worse

The wildlife round here is diverse
Yes, porcupines and even worse
Big snakes and spiders

The wildlife round here is diverse
Yes, porcupines and even worse
Big snakes and spiders
Guv'ment insiders

The wildlife round here is diverse
Yes, porcupines and even worse
Big snakes and spiders
Gov’ment insiders
And other things which make you curse.

Like doing my least fav’rite chore.

Like doing my least fav’rite chore.
Still sometimes feels a bit of a bore

Like doing my least fav`rite chore
Still sometimes feels a bit of a bore
I sing whilst I work

Like doing my least fav`rite chore
Still sometimes feels a bit of a bore
I sing whilst I work
And do a quick twerk

Like doing my least fav’rite chore,
still sometimes a bit of a bore
I sing whilst I work
And do a quick twerk
Which DH seems to enjoy more!

It lures him to help with each task

It lures him to help with each task
It’s worked!! Don’t even have to ask

It lures him to help with each task
It’s worked!! Don’t even have to ask
But his singing - oh my!

It lures him to help with each task
It's worked! Don't even have to ask
But his singing - oh my!
Makes me heave a sigh

It lures him to help with each task
It's worked! Don't even have to ask
But his singing - oh my!
Makes me heave a sigh
So I go out in the sun to bask.

I’m like a beached whale, I admit

I'm like a beached whale, I admit
Lockdown eating - waist took a hit

I'm like a beached whale, I admit
Lockdown eating - waist took a hit
New tops I must buy

I`m like a beached whale, I admit
Lockdown eating-waist took a hit
New tops I must buy
If shops let me try

I'm like a beached whale, I admit
Lockdown eating - waist took a hit
New tops I must buy
If shops let me try
And I can find something to fit

Hey, let's be proud to be chubby

Hey, let's be proud to be chubby
I'm cuddly, like my dear hubby,

Hey, let's be proud to be chubby
I'm cuddly, like my dear hubby,
We bounce when we walk

Hey, let's be proud to be chubby
I'm cuddly, like my dear hubby,
We bounce when we walk
We’re cushioned, don’t mock

Hey, let's be proud to be chubby
I'm cuddly, like my dear hubby,
We bounce when we walk
We’re cushioned, don’t mock
So let’s form a tubby clubby.

We’ll go on an old charabanc

We`ll go on an old charabanc
On a day trip to Cambuslang

We’ll go on an old charabanc
On a day trip to Cambuslang
On oysters we’ll dine

We’ll go on an old charabanc
On a day trip to Cambuslang
On oysters we’ll dine
Drink very fine wine

We'll go on an old charabanc
On a day trip to Cambuslang
On oysters we'll dine
Drink very fine wine
A "Pleased to be Plump" happy gang!

We'll sing when we're back on the bus