Limericks 17

I've got money to burn just now
So I will splurge thousands, and how!
I'll give some to you
Your savings just grew?
If that's the case then take a bow.

So many plans have been held back

So many plans have been held back
Not money or time that I lack

So many plans have been held back
Not money or time that I lack
I need toenails cut

So many plans have been held back
Not money or time that I lack
I need toenails cut
I'm doing my nut

So many plans have been held back
Not money or time that I lack
I need toenails cut
I'm doing my nut
My calluses need a good hack

I can do my own manicure

I can do my own manicure
Can’t reach feet for a pedicure

I can do my own manicure
Can’t reach feet for a pedicure
I'm not flexible

I can do my own manicure
Can’t reach feet for a pedicure
I'm not flexible
So it’s not do-able

I can do my own manicure
Can't reach feet for a pedicure
I'm not flexible
So it's not do-able
With my feet I'm so insecure.

I didn't win that lotto again

I didn't win that lotto again
It’s frustrating, I’m going insane

I didn't win that lotto again
It’s frustrating, I’m going insane
I want pots of dough

I didn't win that lotto again
It’s frustrating, I’m going insane
I want pots of dough
Ten million or more

I didn't win that lotto again
It’s frustrating, I’m going insane
I want pots of dough
Ten million or more
To buy cool things time and again.

A pauper I seem doomed to be

A pauper I seem doomed to be
Always checking my purse to see

A pauper I seem doomed to be
Always checking my purse to see
If there’s any spare

A pauper I seem doomed to be
Always checking my purse to see
If there’s any spare
Sometimes none's there

A pauper I seem doomed to be
Always checking my purse to see
If there’s any spare
Sometimes none's there
Have to make do with a cup of tea

I’m hoping to join ‘Plenty of Fish’

I'm hoping to join 'Plenty of Fish'
A tall, dark handsome man - I so wish

I'm hoping to join 'Plenty of Fish'
A tall, dark handsome man - I so wish
With large pots of cash

I'm hoping to join 'Plenty of Fish'
A tall, dark handsome man - I so wish
With large pots of cash
On me he will splash

I'm hoping to join 'Plenty of Fish'
A tall, dark handsome man - I so wish
With large pots of cash
On me he will splash
I'm not bad I'm really a dish

You could say I'm a handsome catch

You could say I'm a handsome catch
I think we’d be a perfect match

You could say I'm a handsome catch
I think we’d be a perfect match
He has a slight squint

You could say I'm a handsome catch
I think we’d be a perfect match
He has a slight squint
His hair's had a tint