VERSATILE VERSE 3

I've opened a beauty parlour in town
But the bills mean I need a lie down

The insurance alone is causing me stress

When it comes to all things judicial
I know nothing, but ask about a facial

I’ve opened a beauty parlour in town

Luckily they soon got released on appeal
You really have to admire their zeal

When it comes to all things judicial

But their release date arrived and a new life awaited
Then the judge changed his mind and they felt ill-fated.

Luckily they soon got released on appeal

(apologies for mucking up the sequence earlier: I’ve only just noticed)

In fact that's so boring it reminds me of school
Who’d choose this lifestyle? Only a fool

But their release date arrived and a new life awaited

It's far worse than lockdown, confined to a cell,
with all comings and goings ruled by a bell

In fact that's so boring it reminds me of school

In a building at Her Majesty’s pleasure
And there they’ll accumulate mem’ries to treasure.

It’s far worse than lockdown, confined to a cell.

So they then embarked on a life of crime
And it wasn’t long before they did time

In a building at Her Majesty’s pleasure

So began to think of get-rich-quick schemes
But nothing seemed able to answer their dreams

So they then embarked on a life of crime

they gave up the old bus to live in a yurt
But a lion attacked and they really got hurt,

In fact, one of them lost an arm and a leg

But sadly came away without any cash offers
so took to teaching yoga to fill up the coffers

they gave up the old bus to live in a yurt

They took their ideas to Dragon’s Den backers
Rather than search online because of hackers.

But sadly came away without any cash offers

So began to think of get-rich-quick schemes
Which were highly successful (at least in their dreams).

They took their ideas to Dragon’s Den backers

They set off again to continue their tour
But didn’t like feeling that they were poor

So began to think of get-rich-quick schemes

Went to Las Vegas and spent all their dough,
Then recouped playing poker, incredibly, so

They set off again to continue their tour

They travelled the world in a done up old bus
Stopped over in Rio without any fuss

Went to Las Vegas and spent all their dough

The business was a failure, so they moved
became New Age Travellers and really grooved

They travelled the world in a done up old bus

But faced with the needles I’d probably say . . .
A small egg, the one that a hen might lay

The business was a failure, so they moved

But that risk I’m willing to take
Which design, a small rose, or a colourful snake?

But faced with the needles I’d probably say . . .

It think the pain would be excruciating
And I’m sure, most debilitating.

But that risk I’m willing to take

Their designs are astounding, a high cost you’ll pay.
For the intricate designs they have on display

I think the pain would be excruciating

In fact they got married and had two sets of twins.
Who set up a business in tattooing skins.

Their designs are astounding, a high cost you’ll pay.

but he preferred Mavis with the long blonde locks
Even though she wore trainers and silly socks.

In fact, they got married and had two sets of twins

Oh Gavin, my handsome schoolgirl crush
In words of that era I thought he was 'lush'

but he preferred Mavis with the long blonde locks

Once eaten I’ll go for a walk by the stream
I’ll pretend I’m with Gavin, and I’ll daydream

Oh Gavin, my handsome schoolgirl crush