Limericks 15

There is a competitor
Whom I've encountered before
They'd like to mimic our wisdom
But we'll keep banging the drum
Too LOUDLY to ignore!

Oh no! Another fly's come in

Oh no! Another fly's come in
They're probably after the bin

Oh no! Another fly's come in
They're probably after the bin
I must get some spray

Oh no! Another fly's come in
They're probably after the bin
I must get some spray
To send them on their way

Oh no! Another fly's come in
They're probably after the bin
I must get some spray
To send them on their way
Then I must chuck their vile bodies in the bin.

Perhaps If I became a domestic goddess

Perhaps If I became a domestic goddess
I'll wear green Lycra and improve my prowess

Perhaps If I became a domestic goddess
I’d wear green Lycra and improve my prowess
I’d st-r-e-t-ch and bend

Perhaps If I became a domestic goddess
I’d wear green Lycra and improve my prowess
I’d st-r-e-t-ch and bend
My whole being extend

Perhaps If I became a domestic goddess
I’d wear green Lycra and improve my prowess
I’d st-r-e-t-ch and bend
My whole being extend
I won't fit into my little black dress.

There's a beautiful black horse going galloping by

There's a beautiful black horse galloping by
To a certain bank is he saying goodbye?

There's a beautiful black horse galloping by
To a certain bank is he saying goodbye?
There's not a more beautiful creature

There's a beautiful black horse galloping by
To a certain bank is he saying goodbye?
A more beautiful creature
No other ads feature

There's a beautiful black horse galloping by
To a certain bank is he saying goodbye?
A more beautiful creature
No other ads feature
A classic, so graceful it made you cry.

I tried joining a ballet class today

I tried joining a ballet class today
At the barre I'd love to gracefully sway

I tried joining a ballet class today
At the barre I'd love to gracefully sway
I lost my balance

I tried joining a ballet class today
At the barre I'd love to gracefully sway
I lost my balance
But with insouciance

I tried joining a ballet class today
At the barre I'd love to gracefully sway
I lost my balance
But with insouciance
I can do pirouettes and even jete.

I've done some tap, like Fred Astaire

Jangran. I had to look up 'insouciance' ?

I've done some tap, like Fred Astaire
And soft shoe shuffle, if I dare

But then my girth did let me down

Sorry Crazy but this is a limerick thread

Sorry, I forgot we are in Limerick mode

I've done some tap, like Fred Astaire
And soft shoe shuffle, if I dare
With girth too large

I've done some tap, like Fred Astaire
And soft shoe shuffle, if I dare
With girth too large
Around the floor I'll charge

I've done some tap, like Fred Astaire
And soft shoe shuffle, if I dare
With girth too large
Around the floor I'll charge
That’s bound to give them all a scare!

A carpenter from Tunbridge Wells

A carpenter from Tunbridge Wells
Thought he was good with the gals

A carpenter from Tunbridge Wells
Thought he was good with the gals
A reputation he'd carved

A carpenter from Tunbridge Wells
Thought he was good with the gals
A reputation he'd carved
He wasn't sex-starved