Limericks 13

My waterbut has slipped off its stand
And my own butt just seems to expand!
My knickers may burst
But what would be worst,
Is to forget to wear any as planned.

That limerick went slightly off course

That limerick went slightly off course
But chortling made me quite hoarse

That limerick went slightly off course
But chortling made me quite hoarse
I'll suck a lozenge

That limerick went slightly off course
But chortling made me quite hoarse
I'll suck a lozenge
And drive to Stonehenge

That limerick went slightly off course
But chortling made me quite hoarse
I'll suck a lozenge
And drive to Stonehenge
And marvel those huge stones source.

We need to escape this dreich weather

We need to escape this dreich weather
Let’s all migrate to the sun together

We need to escape this dreich weather
Let’s all migrate to the sun together
A camp for Grans

We need to escape this dreich weather
Let’s all migrate to the sun together
A camp for Grans
Was not in my plans

We need to escape this dreich weather
Let’s all migrate to the sun together
A camp for Grans
Was not in my plans
You could knock me down with a feather !

Are bikinis made in our size ?

Are bikinis made in our size ?
Not if we keep eating those fries

Are bikinis made in our size ?
Not if we keep eating those fries
Burgers with cheese

Are bikinis made in our size ?
Not if we keep eating those fries
Burgers with cheese
More relish please

Are bikinis made in our size?
Not if we keep eating those fries
Burgers with cheese
More relish please
But it all will go straight to my thighs!

Sorry, forgot to start another.

I once met a young man called Kevin,

I once met a young man called Kevin
Whose engine was constantly revvin'

I once met a young man called Kevin
Whose engine was constantly revvin'
The curtains were twitching

I once met a young man called Kevin
Whose engine was constantly revvin'
The curtains were twitching
Those neighbours were snitching

I once met a young man called Kevin
Whose engine was constantly revvin'
The curtains were twitching
Those neighbours were snitching
I think he lives at number eleven

Kevin’s ex girlfriend was Sally

Kevin’s ex girlfriend was Sally
He moved on with no dilly-dally

Kevin’s ex girlfriend was Sally
He moved on with no dilly-dally
There’s more fish in the sea

Kevin’s ex girlfriend was Sally
He moved on with no dilly-dally
There’s more fish in the sea
They’re just waiting for me

Kevin’s ex girlfriend was Sally
He moved on with no dilly-dally
There’s more fish in the sea
They’re just waiting for me
So I'm of to meet Lily of the Valley!

Some find it hard to be monogamous

Some find it hard to be monogamous
Perhaps, like me, they're too glamorous ?

Some find it hard to be monogamous
Perhaps, like me, they're too glamorous ?
Opportunities abound

Some find it hard to be monogamous
Perhaps, like me, they're too glamorous ?
Opportunities abound
Pretty girls are all around